Tarnished Souls
by Neena14
Summary: The Russian's betrayal forced the neko into seclusion and even three years behind their brutal seperation, their broken souls are further tainted by the resurfaced past memories. They meet again and rust some more. KaRe Yaoi. A masterpiece...
1. Chapter 1

**_Warnings:_** Yaoi romance; angst; violence; torture; language; somewhat little drinking; consists incest, paedophillia and dark lemon. Though proper lemon can be expected at the end.

**_Disclaimer:_** I solemnly swear and officially declare that I do not own Bey Blade nor I'm making a public use of this fiction. I write solely for entertainment and enjoyment of the readers, though the story belongs to me and is not to be touched. Any new and unknown characters belong to me only.

**_A/N:_** Well, this is it! The angst lemon that I promised in**_ 'Why go for lunch when you can settle for desert'_** Actually I started off as this plot being my first lemon but I wanted to write else than angst for a change so though the idea was dropped, it kept plaguing my mind so much that I created a whole story out of it. Now this is unfair I agree because I've been neglecting my two other stories, one of which is on the brink of completion. Also I had another two plots made up and finished. But this damn thing is stopping my further progress so sorry to those who were more likely expecting 'Alien World' to be updated.

I have promised myself that this would be no more than three chapters no matter how long each chapter is though beforehand this was supposed to be a one shot. So basically don't sue me if this exceeds. God, my mind just has to elongate each and every damn thing doesn't it?

Dear readers, wish me luck on this one. Feed back would be welcome. This is also dedicated to the reviewers and readers of my first lemon and especially for those who supported the idea of another dark lemon. I hope you like it guys

R&R

Enjoy!

* * *

_**Tarnished Souls  
**__**Chapter No. 1**_

* * *

"_So you ready for the big night?"_

Balancing the cordless in between his ear and shoulder, he turned the tap to fill the glass up while peeking at the clock piece on the far wall.

"It's only 6:30"

"_Yeah but you're supposed to be on reception at 8:15 sharp remember?"_

"So I've got a lot of time"

"_With your hair, I highly doubt that."_

"I'll let you know that I washed them in the morning. I'm just going to laze around for a while"

"_Want me to come over?"_

"Nah, I'll manage"

"_Whatever you say; I'll pick you up at 8 okay?"_

"Yeah thanks Lee"

"_Don't mention it"_

Clicking off the phone, he took a gulp of water, eyes turning to stare out of the window into the wet world as rain kept up its pour. With this rate, they would have to evacuate the apartments on the first floor soon enough. Dropping the now empty glass in the basin, he went to his room, switching on the light and closing the door behind. His place was not posh but it was neat with everything an individual like him required.

Now standing in front of the life size oval shaped mirror, he studied the perfect image. A nearly seventeen year old teen stood, the long raven hair, held in place by a red ribbon in a loose ponytail, reached just above the knees. The slender yet athletic legs clad in black trousers, the well toned strong chest bare to the bulb light and the sun kissed flawless skin with those two deep orbs of pure gold water. An eye-catching sight for even a stranger out on street

Ray turned away with regret.

Walking over to his dresser, he bent and gradually opened the last drawer. Picking up the only red velvet cloth laid in there, he pulled out a simple silver photo frame. The snapshot resided two occupants, him and a two toned head. Their hands entwined together and brought up with him leaning on the other's strong chest, both stared out in the camera. The pale cheek touched his with an unmistakable affectionate gesture while depths of passion and love glittered in the crimson eyes.

Ray sighed and closed the drawer. Frame still in hand, he went to perch on the window sill, bringing both knees up and wrapping an arm around them while staring at the smiling couple.

_It's been three long years, Kai, and still I can't get you out of my mind._

Golden eyes swept out of the window as the haunted memory which first laid the foundation of this traumatic nightmare resurfaced.

* * *

_**Flashback**_

He jerked up when the main door clicked shut. Wrenching the blanket off his head from where he had fallen asleep on the couch, golden eyes peered down the entrance hall as a silhouetted figure silently walked in, oblivious to the fact that he was being watched by the neko.

"Kai…"

With the moon light which filtered through the thin silk curtains, he could see the bluenette halting to a stop and tensing up. Obviously he had not thought of him being still up at three in the morning.

"Kai, where…where have you been to?" He choked, furiously wiping away the dried salty tears that stained his cheeks from an hour ago.

Ray had been told that the Russian had an important meeting with his bastard for a grandfather but had not complied on the encounter to take this long. Kai had left at six in the evening. But the main matter that plagued his mind was the phone call he had received at exact midnight. And that was the reason for his high distress at the moment. It was Lee, calling from their usual hangout night club.

"_Where the hell are you?"_

"Huh? I'm at home-"

"_What!! I knew it! I fucking knew it! That son of a bitch Hiwatari!"_ a series of curses had followed

"Lee, are you okay? What's hap-?"

"_I'll tell you what's happening!"_ His friend had raged, _"I hate to be the one to break this to you but Kai's here down the club at Malts and Berry"_

Ray was silent for a second, "Lee…Kai has a meeting with his grandfather-"

"_Screw his grandfather"_ the other insisted, _"Believe me Ray, Kai's here and…and…"_

"What?" Ray asked at the trail off, half of him not wanting to know, "Look, you know what situation we are in these days Lee. He has a lot on his mind. Kai must have gone for a drink."

"_Oh yeah and to make out with Kingston behind your back"_

His eyes widened and his breathing halted to a stop as the low venomous hiss caused all reason and sense to abandon his body. An overwhelming numbing sensation seeped into his legs and traveled upwards, shutting down everything as he digested the blow.

"W-What-"

"_Ray…sigh…Ray, I know…"_

Trying hard to swallow the painful lump in his neck, he choked on fresh tears, "He and B-Brooklyn are……"

"_I wanted to tell you before Ray. I really did,"_ the voice came, "_But I just didn't know how…"_

But Ray had stopped listening. The phone dropped from his fingers' grip as his legs gave away and he entered a dark void of blank omission.

Now as he stood away from his lover, he mentally screamed that it was just a big misunderstanding. He wished Kai to ask him why his eyes were all red. He wanted Kai to tell him that his grandfather had been a pain in the ass but everything was fine. He needed Kai to assure him that whatever he was thinking was beyond the boundaries of logic.

But no nothing came from the person who was making sure to remain in the shadows.

"K-Kai…"

"Why are you still up?"

This time Ray let the aggravating tears flow, for he no longer had any control over him, "Why are _you_ jumping around _my_ question, huh? Where have you been for the past so many hours?? I've been worried sick and you come home and ask me why I was not asleep?? Tell me the truth Kai! W-What were you and Brooklyn doing down the club alone at this hour!!"

Though an intensive need of oxygen occurred after his outburst, his breathing stopped when crimson eyes went wide at the mention of the teal eyed prodigy. Ray's mouth fell open as the truth hit him like tons of bricks, "N-No-NO!! You were with him, weren't you??"

"Ray…"

But all the neko could do was shake his head while tears blinding him. Losing his footing, he stumbled down to the floor. No! Kai just admitted he was with the other. He had been trying so much to get an explanation from his boyfriend; even making possible excuses for him. But here it was, clearly in his face; the truth.

"W-Why…"

He distinctly heard some one stepping close to him. Two arms encircled his trembling body and he felt the coldness of rain water seep through his clothes. By then he had not register that the bluenette was completely drenched. The somewhat worry evaporated when a faint smell of alcohol invaded his nostrils.

"Who told you?"

Swallowing, Ray answered painfully, "L-Lee called an-and…"

"Ray, please," A finger tilted his chin upwards while a thumb brushed away the stray crystalline drops, "I know when I say that I've never asked you a favor but please, this time, let me explain"

"Explain what" Ray stifled a reply. Pulling away harshly from the embrace, he looked at the pale face, "Lee saw you and Brooklyn TOGETHER!"

"Who does that stalker think he is following me like that?" Kai countered without thinking properly and regretted it, especially after the struck look of the other.

Ray gaped at him, a poisonous dagger piercing through his already shattered heart.

"I-I need to take a shower Ray," Kai was on his feet, cringing visibly at the crestfallen façade, "I promise you I'll explain everything" And he went off in the direction of their room.

After what seemed like an eternity, his senses kicked in ultimately.

_I promise you I'll explain everything_.

He needed not to worry, right? Kai said he would tell him everything and the bluenette had yet to break a promise. All was fine. They were going to be alright. It was nothing but a huge misunderstanding. It could even be Brooklyn hitting on Kai like usual. Just a caught up moment and Lee went yelling his head off.

Ray drew a shuddering intake and slowly got to his feet, his legs still shaking uncontrollably. Rubbing his swollen eyes, he decided to check on his partner, half willing to help him put all this behind them. Entering the chamber, he was able to make out sounds of water running and filling the tub, turning a deaf ear to the surroundings. Placing a hand on the handle, Ray turned it. Only to find it locked.

Alarms went off in his mind and he forced himself to remain serene. What the hell!! Kai never ever locked the door!! Gulping the over growing anxiety, Ray tried again quietly and pushed. It opened! Kai had locked it but not closed it properly. Though his conscience told him to back off already, Ray proceeded in peeking through the crack.

Steam partially obscured the view but golden eyes could see the Russian standing by the basin in front of the mirror, shirtless and one hand rubbing the shoulder with the look of utmost disgust on it. He was going to call out to him but that moment; Kai sighed and brought his hand down which had been hiding a dark mark all the time.

He could see astonished dark eyes whipping around at his loud cry and widening in horror when realizing they had been caught straight out. Stumbling away from the door frame hastily, he stuffed a wrist in his mouth to keep everything down. His body meeting the floor agonizingly went unnoticed to him as his feet tripped over. All he could do was to stare in shock as the person he had sold his heart rushed out in front of him, the fresh bite mark even more prominent on the pale white skin.

"Ray, listen-"

"HOW COULD YOU!! How could you after all we went through!!"

"Ray, no…"

"You lied to me!! You fucking lied!! You said it wasn't your fault!!" Ray screamed, his throat ripping at the force, "It's been like this for the past month but you assured me, Kai, you assured me that it…it was Brooklyn…he…not you…not you…"

"I didn't…"

But Ray clamped his hands on his ears and cried, cried for the nightmare to end, cried to wake up in his lover's arms, cried for Kai.

When his tears ended, a soothing feeling of numbness came, enveloping him in its snares, providing him some refuge for his sanity. He drew his knees up and crawled away till his back met the wall, trying to keep as much distance between him and the other who had yet to move. Through all his tears, Kai had not moved a muscle.

Ray hiccupped loudly and looked up at the dead crimson hues when they came to kneel beside him. Not able to resist anymore, he allowed his battered self to be pulled against Kai's chest who gently caressed his face with the other hand, trying to soothe him to some peace. He did not respond but closed his eyes when the bluenette opened the red ribbon and began stroking his black silky mane. Sniffing tiredly, he automatically dropped his head on Kai's shoulder who leaned back at the wall and drew him in his lap.

"Can you please grant me a chance to explain?"

Ray did not reply but waited for the other to begin, a strange feeling rising deep with in him.

"I did go to Voltaire Ray. But after that…I don't know…I just couldn't bear to face you right then. The old bastard is…well…more determined than ever. I knew you'd be worry so I decided to wait till tomorrow. I went to Malts and Berry to grab a drink. You know me well to judge that I never let myself get carried away but this time however…I…wanted a Vodka but then decided to try something stronger," There was sigh. "I don't know Ray, I really don't but…"

Ray didn't interrupt. Hearing Kai babbling an explanation was new to him and it only fed that internal alien feeling which had ignited into a small flame.

Not receiving a response, Kai tried again, "Kingston came to me and asked to buy a drink. I ultimately complied where I shouldn't have. Everything was lost to me after that. I…I…I just woke in one of those store room at the back about half an hour ago and…and…"

Ray froze and slowly turned to meet downcast red eyes. He tried to form some words to say, to correspond but the revelation left him completely empty.

"He and you actually…"

"Ray…" Seeing the broken look on the neko, Kai hung his head

Golden orbs just went over his remorse with lips partially opened. Not able to take it anymore, Ray placed his hands on the stoic chest and tried to push away, new tears clinging to his eyelashes already. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. Not Kai. Not his Kai. He was well aware of the fact that Brooklyn had been trying hard to get the Russian to notice him for past a month but to think that Kai had met him down there, had done **it** with someone else than him was unreal.

_But how can I be sure? I've only been with him for six months._ _With all the mayhem his grandfather is causing to separate us, why wouldn't he go for that innocent nature-freak?_

Ray sobbed, "Am…am I that b-bad?"

Kai wrapped him tightly into a fiercely protective hug, tucking the younger head under his chin, "No…a person can merely dream of having a lover as devoted as you Ray"

"Then how can you let it happen…how could you even think of……of…_shagging_ some one else?"

There was a long silence through which only heavy rain drops colliding with the window glass and the initial jolts of the incoming storm reached their ears.

Kai breathed out, "I'm sorry. You know I am. I've told you the truth sincerely Ray. Now all I can do is ask for your forgiveness."

Ray just lay there, dead as a mouse. How many times had he encountered such, though less intense, situations in the past forty days? How many times Kai had held him like that and muttered apologies and explanations of his acts? How many times had he asked for Ray's forgiveness? And how many times had Ray forgiven him?

"Kai…I don't know what I know anymore. I don't even know you" He whispered with sorrow. Entwining their fingers together he softly muttered, "Do you love me?"

A hand slowly cupped his cheeks and rose till contact was made. Golden clashed crimson and Ray was able to find his answer there. The two toned head gently lowered and captured his rosy lips in a soft intimate kiss, working tenderly while switching from protectiveness to a soothing cuddle

Ray willingly melted in the embrace but in the back of his mind, that feeling did not fade away. All this stolen kisses and touches; did they have the same meaning for Brooklyn too? Right then he could, no; he wanted to desperately hang onto the last string of hope that it was not true for he could never bear losing his koi. Never…

"I never wanted to hurt you like this Ray. I hate myself for causing you this. But I promise this would not happen again."

Golden eyes narrowed tiredly but no more speech was exchange between the two.

As the rain continued its obnoxious charade, Ray felt a deep pang thrust inside him. How long would they have to suffer till freedom finally would be granted to them? Would he be able to take the pain if, god forbids, they had to break up? Did he trust Kai enough to believe in the promise or would he keep on doubting his deeds forever? And what about Brooklyn; was this only a one-night stand off or did that even delve deeper than Ray could imagine?

* * *

"……_You can never tell when we might expect the yellow canary to migrate to the next tree. High optimism is in the air people!"_

Golden eyes gently turned to the cute blond two lockers beside him who blushed shyly at the announcement coming from the intercom made by the school's Jazz and quickly throwing her books in, she skipped off. Leave it to their DJ to lighten the mood.

"……_And my owl just returned with a quiet coded gossip for we have received a poison pen letter…"_

Ray practically halted in closing his locker to hear that.

"……_A certain CEL seems to be asking for RVB. Any guesses here anyone…?"_

It was Ray's time to blush and he quickly lowered his eyes to the floor. _Damn you Kai._ He knew for whom that 'poison pen letter' was addressed to and who the mysterious sender was.

"…_MT W-253. Houston; we may have a problem. Have the 'Beetles' finally return or something or did the gnomes just built another school wing overnight? 'Cause I have not encountered any peculiar contraptions yesterday nor have this W-253 came across my brows. Send a red alert for Federal 'snoop-a-scoop' Agents pronto…"_

Ray smiled inwardly. The message had been 'RVB MT W-253 CEL.' May be a cryptologist would be needed but for him, it simply said, _'Raven beauty meet me at East at 2:53, love crimson eyes'_

His watch read 2:41. He had enough time to make a round to the instrumental room and return these music notes before his special reserved appointment with Kai. They hadn't seen each other else than in Math's Kai, something, unlike him; the bluenette was quite fond of. Two days had flown by to that argument and Ray had willingly wiped his mind about that encounter. Had he completely forgiven Kai? Maybe yes, maybe no but one thing stood assured, he wasn't going to dwell on it to ruin their relationship.

Silently humming, he crossed the threshold and entered the second block. The glass doors of the music room emerged before him at the far end of the empty corridor. Grabbing the metal knob, he was about to turn when a few sobs reached his ears. Blinking and looking around, he startled when his sensitive hearing picked up a familiar voice, "Look, we can't go on like this. Either way this will split us up and I can't bear that," His lips parted in a quiet gasp as Kai continued his soft soothing.

"How could you even bear living with that…_that_…?"

"Brooklyn-gasp-"

This time Ray could not hold it altogether. Doing the unthinkable, he slammed the door open but what he saw was beyond his worst notions and he was sure it would be engraved in his memory and haunt him in his every nightmare for the rest of his lifetime.

Tears clouded his vision as the bluenette pushed away from the orange haired teen which had his hands on Kai's waist in an amiable affectionate gesture, faces inches apart and lips glued just before the neko had barged in on their hidden moment. The crimson orbs went round and he gasped though his companion still had to let him go.

Ray looked shockingly at the scene, shaking his head in disbelief with teeth lightly clenched to keep him from screaming out loud. When a sob managed to escape, he scrunched his eyes shut, waited for a moment and then fled from the room in despair.

"RAY"

But his world went into a kaleidoscope of emotions and blinded him as he ran. The shouts of sudden surprise or curses went oblivious as he made his way out of the school, not even stopping to apologize as he hardly bumped into two girls. The horns of furious drivers and the shrill whistling of the traffic corporal went unheard as he rushed down the T-junction of the road through the harsh spell of rain. His way was indefinite as he simply ran, away from the institution, away from the society and most importantly, away from Kai and Brooklyn.

All the while, Kai had been playing him for a fool. And he had let him. He had so easily let him toy with him like a lifeless rag doll. He had been too sightless by the futile dream of perfect teenage romance to even notice. All those rumors, all those unexplainable events had been justifiable but he had turned a deaf ear to them, to engross in this passionate ritual.

And now…the walls around his world collapsed one by one and broke down into millions of shards as the truth hit him.

The last bout of energy left his weary body and he stumbled before crumpling down on the wet ground, a sudden feeling of lonesomeness and misery enveloping him. Hands reached to wrap around the knees as he buried his head, his hair falling down to curtain from rest of the cruel world. His cries were muffled and went unheard though there was no one about to listen anyway.

…_Look, we can't go on like this. _

…_How could you even bear living with that…_that_…?_

…_Either way this will split us up…_

…_I can't bear that_

…_Brooklyn…_

"Why?" Ray whimpered to the abyss

_RAY…RAY…Ray…_

His lover's voice rang through his ears and he sobbed harder.

"Ray…"

His cries hitched up and he lifted his tearful gaze in skepticism. Surely, Kai stood above from where he was crouching against a pole of the abandoned bridge, the front wild grey bangs matted to the disheveled face.

The neko got to his feet and made a violent attempt to escape but two hands grabbed his arms in a bruising way, "No! Leave me alone!!" His voice was hoarse from crying but he didn't care as he thrashed to and fro, endeavoring to flee.

"Ray…"

SLAP

Wrenching away, golden eyes glared in hatred at the person whose head whipped around at the force before returning to stare astonishingly. That wonder vanished and Kai once more tried to make contact, only this time the raven head lashed out again.

"GO AWAY!! LEAVE ME ALONE GOD DAMMIT! I HATE YOU!! I FUCKING HATE YOU!!" Ray did not know where he was getting his sheer energy nor did he bother to find out as he slapped the bluenette again and again; shouting at the top of his lungs as he wasted blow after blow on the other who was rooted to the ground, immune to rashness and allowing the younger one let out his built up wrath, frustration and loathing.

Finally with all power drained, Ray raised his fist to strike last time but the overwhelming tiredness did its toll and he sniffed. Standing there, he sniffed as renewed sobs reached his eyes. Lowering his arm, he gradually stepped forward and placed his head on the stoic chest he had so aggressively pounded, wordlessly asking for comfort and warmth. As two arms snaked around him, he returned the gesture full heartedly. Both lovers stood with remorse in the rain which teemed down mercilessly though none even registered it.

A hand ultimately cupped his cheek when all snuffles died away and he was forced to meet crimson eyes,

"What you think is not what happened Ray. Brook-"

But Kai was cut short when Ray placed a searing kiss on the other. It didn't take him long to respond but as he placed more pressure, the neko drew away, face devoid of emotion but eyes portraying all the betrayal as an open book.

Ray shook his head, "I'm sorry Kai"

The bluenette waited for him to continue but his deadening silence was enough for an answer.

"No," Kai tried to grab him but he stepped away, "Please Ray…no"

"It's over…I'm sorry" Ray announced, turning away from the crushed look in the eyes he had always held so much trust in, "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to give you what you wanted. But I hope that your new interest can. I wish both of you luck"

"You don't understand Ray!" Kai managed to take him by his shoulders and wheel him around, "It's not what it seemed. It was all a folly. Don't be like this"

Two fingers hushed him, "I love you Kai; always has and always will. But you were right; none of us can go on like this. At least I can't…"

"Ray, don't do this. I'll beg if I have to but don't do this, not now" But even though he said it, it was evident that things had been damaged too much to repair. The neko had his mind made up.

Ray took the pale face between his hands and caressed it in a comforting way, knowing that this would be the last time he would be able to touch it, to stroke it, to feel it. Gently rising and capturing those lips he had grown addicted to, he fed all his feelings and love in their last kiss, wishing it to last forever. But alas that was not to be.

Breaking away, Ray withdrew his hand, his fingers itching to hold onto the last of the inevitable seconds.

"I love you"

And he walked away, leaving his first and very last love. But through the down pour, the wind was able to carry back the reply,

"I love you too"

* * *

**_End Flashback_**

_I love you too._

His eyes shot open and he sat upright, almost falling off the window sill. Looking around feverishly, he gasped when the photo frame slipped from his lap and fell to the floor. Ray remained still for a moment before bending down to retrieve the snap which had dropped out of the casing. The neko hesitated but all the same, picked up the snap from the edge and flattened out the possible creases. Flipping it over, he gazed at the neat slanting Russian handwriting,

'_Together for eternity'_

Sighing, Ray once more perched next to window.

After their eventual departing, Ray had run away. He went to a secluded part of the world where he spent two years in complete isolation. The parting had left him too much heart broken to continue living and it still intrigued him that he had actually survived all this time and had somehow countered suicide. The place he had grown to call home in that remote part of nature provided some eerie kind of sanctuary and it was not but a few months that he had become fond of the forest and its marvels.

Almost twelve long lonely months after, a person had accidentally invaded his personal freedom and he even now remembered his fright and panic that he had been found out. But somehow fate had showed some benevolence on him and it had turned out to be for the best. Within a short time he befriended her and came to know that the unexpected visitor belonged to his own homeland; China, and had came here after the murder of her mother. It had taken her months and months of persuasion and finally Ray had decided to return back; not to Japan but to his White Tiger tribe.

Through his silent period of segregation, he had made friends with the animals around the small cottage he had seek peace in. He had stumbled upon an orphan cub white tiger and may be it was due to the fact that he was attracted to felines or was part cat himself; he did not know but he had taken it his responsibility to tend to its need. The neko had named it 'Drigger' in the memory of the fearsome beast spirit that folktales said his ancient tribe members used to possess.

True, it had been lonely and depressing on his part to live unaccompanied and there had been times when he used to lose all sense of sanity but what kept him away from outside world was the true horror that was carved in his mind. Ray still had that fear of confronting his koi once out in the open despite that he had assured himself countless times that the Russian probably had moved on for he, Ray, was dead to all.

His friend who had taken him as a younger brother had aided him throughout and had gained his trust after quiet a time. On his behalf, Ray had welcomed this new person with initial reluctance but then with open arms. And it had not been too long when Ray, one clear night under the starry sky, practically confided his tale to her. To his immense astonishment, she had taken even a bigger interest in helping him back to get his feet under him and grown even more caring about him. Her name was Tania and when he moved back to Hong Kong penniless and uncertain, she had been with him at each step. Due to courage she ignited in him, he ultimately went back to his clan.

He remembered the disbelief etched on the faces of his people before they had been reduced to tears of happiness. Contrast to what he had imagined he was greeted with a reception he could not even think of. And then there had been Lee; his child hood friend who had came to live with him in Japan for his sake. The lion, as he was titled due to his grandfather being the leader of the tribe, had changed physically but mentally, he was the same. And Ray could have asked for nothing else

As much ironic as it sounded, there was even a bigger surprise that awaited him when his uncles who owned various prominent restaurants throughout China, offered him to become the holder of the new eatery as a welcome back present. Ray, flabbergasted and touched, had tried to decline but altogether knew well that he was in desperate need of some assistance and so, complied to live with Lee until he could manage his self in the busy state of Honk Kong. To prove his appreciation, he had given Tania the second control over the whole place since she was having financial problems with her father who wanted her to forcefully return to Australia.

The moment he was able to afford, Ray left Lee's apartment since the latter's presence was usually sinister for him. Call it conscience but Ray had never felt at ease despite the fact that Lee and he went down the road. But having past nightmares still embedded in his mind, he confined himself to his little circle, not even daring to draw near to the boundary line let alone step out. He could not recall the last time he had smiled openly. For Ray, his happiness, laughter, joy, feelings left him the day his koi left him.

He had grown to an even more exotic looking teen and he knew that well; partially because Lee never stopped mentioning it and partially because of what others told him. And that was sprinkling salt on his yet to heal wounds since that only made it more difficult to answer; what was it that enticed Kai enough towards that teal eyed teen in the first place?

_A person can merely dream of having a lover as devoted as you Ray…_

Dropping on the cool wooden floor, he returned the snap into its frame and proceeded in placing it safely back in the drawer. When he left, Lee returned to China but he had taken up the responsibility to take up Ray's few personal belongings back with him. And fatefully, he had found it out thirteen days ago. The instant he had looked at the photo, all the concrete walls Ray had constructed around him cracked. The haunted times returned to him which had been dug deep down and prevented from ever reoccurring completely. His horror was somewhat short lived at then since Tania was, to some extent, able to rein him in a bit control but later, his mind had gone into a permanent turbulent turmoil.

Golden eyes switched to the blinking device on the side table as it started making small beeping noises. Closing the drawer and going over, Ray rubbed his temples before answering it,

"Hello" Not bothering to see the caller's id

"_Hey little bro"_

"Tania"

"_The one and only; you're ready or what?"_

Leaning against the bed, Ray asked, "Not yet, what time is it?"

"_Well you better start moving. It's almost 7:20"_

Ray blinked; had he fallen asleep or something for this long?

"_I have to be down there near to 8. Want me to pick you up?"_

"No thanks, Lee's coming"

"_Oh…"_ there was some silence before the girl spoke again_, "Um…okay, just asking"_

"Is all right?"

"………"

"Tania…"

"…_you know how I feel about Lee, right?"_

"You're insulting me by asking that you know?" Ray answered softly, mentally smiling at the scene of these two being in one room. They never saw anything eye to eye. It was common that Lee was nothing but completely jealous about her being closer to Ray than him. And the lion did not actually hide that fact.

"_Yeah, well…try to keep one eye open, okay?"_

"I'll try…"

"…_is something wrong?"_

Hell, that girl knew him well. "Why do you ask?"

"_Now you're insulting 'me' by asking that, you know. Come on, when was the last time you agreed without a fight? You always have _some_ defense against that jerk. Why am I not hearing 'the guy's known me half of my life Tania, I trust him' or 'we used to be brothers, kick him some slack' or…"_

"I got the point"

"_So, what's wrong?"_

"Just thinking…"

There came no reply for no elaboration was required. Ray's gaze left to stare at where the picture was securely lying and he couldn't help but sigh.

"_Ray…"_

"I'm fine…"

Silence

"……_try to remain like that, okay?"_

"Yeah…"

"_Bye"_

"Bye"

Clicking off the phone, Ray stared at it before walking to the window again. Gazing out at the wet world, Ray closed his eyes, a single tear slowly escaping and traveling down leaving a moist way as it went. He did not care to brush it off for inside, he had been weeping the whole time…

* * *

"You're still not ready?" The soft voice pulled him out of his stupor, and he gradually turned his head to register the redhead teen standing in the doorway with a dress pants on, his hair damp and a towel slung around his well sculptured shoulders. 

Crimson eyes turned back to the rain which was coming down in torrents. It was all wet out there. Like everything was crying for some unexplainable reason but the tears were there nonetheless.

"Kai…? Get ready; they are expecting us at 9"

"Go away"

Tala sighed at his friend's stubbornness, "Voltaire will be home any minute"

The bluenette did not respond but the slight tilt of the head showed that he had heeded the forewarning.

Taking it upon him, the red head went over to the walk in closet before returning few seconds later with some casual wear that would to the least match Kai's current tone. Laying the attire down on the four poster bed, he raised his cerulean eyes to the almost undistinguishable silhouette on the window sill, visible only due to the remaining burning ambers in the fire grate, "Come on Kai. Personally, I'm not in mood for another clash"

With that he left the eerie room, the indifferent teen still unmoved.

For moments, the hush of the silence hung heavily to the ambiance until a hand gently reached for the guitar placed peacefully against the curtains, fingers curling around and picking the instrument up. The haunted eyes were shadowed behind the light locks and his expression was guarded as his digits went over the strings, strumming them in low yet soothing tone, a deep melody coming from a grief-stricken heart, lamenting out the long locked emotions hidden behind a veil from the humanity,

"…_Wise men say, only fools rush in,  
__But I can't help falling in love with you…"_

Closing his eyes, Kai abandoned his mind and soul to the rhythm of the music as he continued his hymn in the atypical singing intonation,

"…_Wise men say, only fools rush in,  
__But I can't help falling in love with you  
__Shall I stay? Would it be a sin?  
__If I can't help falling in love with you…"_

The wild bangs swayed simultaneously if ever so slightly as the pale fingers danced over the strings with extreme expertise, conjuring a heavenly notion some might find implausible to be true,

"…_As every river flow,  
__Gently to the sea,  
__Darling so we go  
__Some things were meant to be…"_

Kai raised his head, eyes still closed, and spoke out, words parting his lips and devouring the silent firmament in the elegance of the charm,

"…_Take my hand,  
__Take my whole life too,  
__But I can't help  
__Falling in love with you…"_

Ending with a final pluck, the two toned head dropped back to the wall, lids opening up to reveal a typhoon of repressed memories clouding the crimson pools. His fingers brushed momentarily at the cold silver necklace as he raised his hand to his neck. Pausing for a fraction of a second, he pulled at the delicate chain until a small oval pendant with a dark ruby in the middle was revealed. The enigma deftly opened the locket, the glow in his eyes flickering as his sight washed over the laughing neko. The lids were closed with the rosy lips parted in a cheerful laugh, relenting with the euphoria the neko might be feeling when the snap was taken.

Kai sighed in regret,

_Where did things go so wrong?_

His conscience was quick to recall…

* * *

_**Flashback**_

"So what would it be?"

"Bloody Martini"

"Would it be two dashes of Worcestershire?"

"Make it three"

The bartender scrutinized the enigma from behind the thin wired spectacles perched on his crooked nose, "Not up to your usual might Kai?"

"The world's tossing me around a bit"

"Well you better toss it all back that's what I'll say," the aged man said, abandoning cleaning the crystal goblet to pull out the desire drink, "Besides, they can never hook up a Hiwatari forever, eh?" The heavily lined face smiled wisely at him, grey eyes praising all the while.

_Yeah, but another Hiwatari can…_

Kai thought gloomily but nodded to the other if ever so little and returned his gaze back at the club's environment. He wasn't outgoing or the party type but he liked this place which was saying much. The café was small but popular, a usual hangout place for mainly youngsters. That bartender, he had acquainted him sometime after he moved to Japan a year and a half ago. Their meeting had been peculiar but it had developed into the bluenette respecting the old man and coming to him when wished.

Kai sighed and grabbing the wine glass, he gave a parting glance to him before making it across the dome shaped chamber, passing the raised dancing platform, away from the neon lights of the stereo and the disco ball to area occupying low velvet couches, love seats and even wooden crates. The club was crowded with bodies swaying to the hip music and very few people surrounded that corner spot, most of them making out while others eyeing sundry individuals in hoping to catch their attention.

Taking a large gulp of the dark liquid, Kai let it slosh in his mouth, tasting the strong tang before rolling it over his tongue, leaving a slight burning sensation as it traveled down his throat. Closing his eyes and relinquishing the feeling of temporary lack of consciousness.

_It took you long grandfather, but you came nonetheless._

Voltaire had finally managed to reacquaint with him from where he had taken refuge from Russia and fled to Japan sometime after the bastard had ultimately taken the spot light with the authority and thrown in jail for child abuse and such offensive felonies. Kai had been given an opportunity to claim his never given freedom in a silver platter and he, in thoughts of being at last emancipated and liberated, had rushed off to place as much distance as possible in between his hell for a life before.

But his relief had sadly been short lived. Having practically no idea what the god forsaken damned judge contemplated before even thinking of releasing the elder Hiwatari was beyond his consideration but he knew this much; Voltaire was out and he was on the hunt. The man had been nothing but vicious at the revelation that the court beforehand had placed almost the entire Hiwatari wealth under the young master's name. And now with the leak of his grandson and a certain neko-jin relationship exposed, his sinister plotting to get his young charge back on the leash and away from the 'uncouth mountain boy' was nothing but sadistic.

The bluenette took another gulp before resting his head on the back of the seat and opening his eyes to meet the dark ceiling, illuminated only by the different shades of glowing radiances.

Kai was worried. He was worried about Ray. His grandfather had not been all too secretive about tearing them apart when reaching Japan. In fact he had provided with much ominous threats on their first meeting at Kai's mansion. Both moved out since none could even think of standing the old man's mere presence let alone live with him under the same roof.

Now here he was. He had pending school assignments; business affairs that needed to be dealt immediately and his personal life on the line and now fate just tossed another peril on his ever full plate. The pressure was building and it surprised him how come he was still sustaining it.

_I didn't know that you could prove to be this big a menace grandfather and it disgusts me to know how far you are willing to go to claim me as your own…_

Kai drained the last sip and smacked the glass down on the table, his mind and actions already under the influence of the drink. He needed it though. After all he had spent almost half a dozen hours with the devil and their meeting was nothing but devastating to his already apprehensive firmament.

"Can I get you a drink?"

Planning to tell the hooker off, the two tone head rose only for crimson eyes clashing with teal ones. Blinking once, he decided he was not hallucinating and once more cursed the deities above silently. Both the teens went down the memory lane from primary school in Russia but even with such a long social contact; it was clear that colleagues they could be considered but never friends and generally adversaries.

"A question usually gets an answer"

"Go away Kingston" Kai muttered, rubbing his temples with one hand. Recently Brooklyn had been showing a hell lot of interest in Kai. And though he may not openly admit it, it was getting on his nerves and he found this whole romantic escapade a cheap soap opera.

"Ah you're being feisty, huh? Come on you wouldn't mind telling your old friend the reason would you? What's dangling you from the hook these days Kai?"

"Stuff" was the answer though now the bluenette had noticed that though the outfit the other was wearing was somewhat obnoxious, he looked good nonetheless.

"Hey take this" Brooklyn said, his voice welcoming and serene as he held out a goblet full of forget-me-not blue liquid, "I'm sure it will make you feel better"

"No thanks"

The reply was blunt and Kai saw the sudden flash of hurt in those teal eyes. When did he become so soft?

"Brook-"

"I know," the other sighed, "It's about Ray huh?"

"I-"

"But why does that have to come between us?"

Kai stared at him, not getting the literal meaning.

"Face it Kai, we might be rivals at academics and what not but from when did you actually adopted this whole indifferent apathetic fascia for me? The least you could do is to grant me the honor of buying you a drink."

"From when did you start this whole flirting business with me when you very well know I'm already in a chaotic mayhem? And besides, I'm in a bit of a hurry"

"What, your little pet waiting at home for you?"

The crimson eyes hardened at the candid disregard, "I'm getting sick of this tête-à-tête Kingston"

As if aware that he had stooped over the boundary, Brooklyn quickly shook his head and gave a small sincere smile, "Okay, okay I'm sorry…Guess things actually change, right?"

The bluenette was about to reply when a pain hit him at the side of his head. Cursing slightly at the migraine attack, he placed his forehead in his hand.

"Get a grip, Kai," Brooklyn spoke, watching his comrade apprehensively, "and take this, for Christ's sake"

As the sore ache ebbed away leaving a tingling throb in its wake, haunted crimson registered at the goblet shoved near his face and then at the attractive prodigy. Sighing, Kai agreed and complied, not noticing the sudden vindictive gleam in the teal orbs.

Bringing the rim to his lips, he finished the ardent drink in one gulp, his throat screaming for water when the fiery liquid drained down. Blinking away the sting in his eyes, a prickly sensation coursed through his system, frying the nerve ends and blurring his senses.

"Want to dance, Kai?"

"Huh?"

"And here I thought you could handle your drink"

Kai gasped suddenly, his breath coming out in pants as the adequate affects kicked in, shoving aside his conscience till he no longer controlled his body. _What's wrong with me?_ He could see himself asking the last inquiry before completely abandoning all restraint and more likely becoming a spectator in the bizarre scenario, "Brooklyn…w-what did you do to me?"

It felt as if he was peering over the situation though unable to respond or even think of retaliating. Kai could see the bluenette groaning and clutching his head for a while. But ultimately, the crimson eyes finally opened to meet a condescending leer, "Just tweaked your sexual want a bit"

A surprised look enveloped his pale features but that was lost when two lips covered his in a searing kiss, the orange head moving quick and fast and entwining long fingers deep in the silky duo hair and pressing forward. It did not take the bolt from the blue long to dissipate and the bluenette grabbed the younger and pulled their bodies flushed against each other.

Brooklyn smirked internally at the carnal hunger and moved suggestively where the Russian had draped him over in his lap. Kai gasped when hips crushed rapidly against his thighs, tearing needful groans from his throat as speed was picked. The orange head watched the other adopting a pained expression of pleasure when he pressed down harder before nipping his jaw, proceeding to trace the ear lobe with the tip of his tongue. Seeing that Kai was somewhat still holding back, he bent down to capture the parted rosy lips in a French kiss, exploring the sweet cavern and lapping the teeth before stroking the heated appendage.

Finding the dominance of the teal eyed teen disconcerting; he grabbed the collar and changed positions with the younger beneath his, quickly taking the lower lip and biting it. Running one hand on the nape of the neck, he drew butterfly kisses along the jaw bone, traveling down. Kai grunted and threw his head back when a hand grabbed him through the pants, stroking the burning slyly.

"I always…wanted to know how it was to kiss you, Kai" Brooklyn purred with evident coyness, watching the lusty crimson eyes fluttering as he kept up caressing, "You're an excellent kisser"

And then he let go. Slipping away from where Kai was caging him down on the couch, he pulled away with stealth only to sit behind the flushed Russian. The bluenette whipped to see where his toy had went only to find Brooklyn grabbing a fist full of his front and whispering sedately in his ear, causing his stomach to flip over,

"Meet me at the back"

Kai found him trying to grope for the attractive teen that blew him a good bye kiss and winking; melted away in the noisy club environment, his hips swaying all the way. Blinking only once, a predatory grin graced his lips while a lustful yearning shrouded his eyes. Leaping off the seat, he went after his hunt through the massive yet crowded area, not once stopping to reconsider his actions.

* * *

"…You should be fucking glad you're not arrested Kingston!" Kai hissed venomously, burning crimson eyes trained out of the window. Apart from the pattering of the downpour, the school's music room was dead. 

He had woken two days ago in the back of the club, feeling highly worn out with a head ache ready at his already weary disposal. Something had been wrong there and when that something was registered by his torn mind, Kai panicked. He could not believe it. Flabbergasted he had looked around feverishly, trying to locate some hint to affirm his straying thoughts and found one near his folded jacket. It was a note with neat slanting writing but the context could not allow him to be impress; _'You're the best bed partner I ever had…'_

What had followed next was a kaleidoscopic experience with him confronting Ray like as honest fool. With the state of his mind, Kai had not even thought of reassessing his plans when he left the club, lightheaded and unsure. It was somewhat three in the morning and stupidly assuming his lover to be asleep; he went back to their apartment, only fate had a hell in stored for him. Previously, Brooklyn had taken extensive measures but this……

For those two days, he had not abandon Ray or left the neko's side. It might be saying much, but even coming to school, he had not deemed upon facing Brooklyn. The guy was known for his wily and furtive flirting but even Kai did not dare to think that he would drop to such a level. What the hell was he playing?

"I'm going to ask you only once Kingston. Why are you doing this? Fuck what's wrong with you?" Kai turned to see the other's back to him. The mindless wrath amplified its burning charade and he found himself walking around the threshold and grabbing the orange haired teen by his shoulders, determine to rip the flesh apart.

Teal eyes met his and he saw tears clinging to the lashes. But that did not help the matter at hand. If Brooklyn thought crying would somehow soften his demeanor, the guy was in for a lot of learning.

"I don't really need a reason to hurt you badly Brooklyn. You drugged me and then proceeded with acts for which your worthless shit for a life could be behind bars…Stop looking at me like that!!" Kai hissed, his nails practically digging into the now bruised skin, when a bizarre glaze cloaked the teal hues.

"How long will you be able to keep everything intact, Kai?" Brooklyn breathed out

"What!" Kai snarled

"How long will you keep pretending like that? How long will it take you to reveal you hidden feelings for me? I know, Kai, I can feel that you're drawn to me"

"You're insane," Kai grimaced with disgust at teen's illicit actions, stepping away as if he had touched filth, "For fuck's sake, what's wrong with you?!"

Brooklyn registered the stunned teen and smiled coyly before straightening up to him, "We can always keep this a secret, Kai. No one will know, not even Ray"

The prodigy did not gasp nor budged when Kai slapped him harshly across the face. Seething crimson watched as the orange head gradually moved back and a hand traveled at the fresh mark, the eyes portraying evident shock, "Keep away from me, you whore. I don't know what has changed you, Brooklyn, nor do I recall you being such a pain. Hell I'm surprised why I haven't left you choking your last breaths in your own blood by now!"

The teen hung his head before sighing and walking in the middle of the room. Tracing the black and white keys of the giant piano, he sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat, "I really do feel for you Kai"

"To hell with it, I don't"

"Why? I-I'm the one who knows you for so long…I…"

Kai ran a hand through his hair, clutching them momentarily in despair, beating Brooklyn in a pulp taking a back seat in his mind. How the hell did he get into this?

Seeing that somewhat rage had dissolved, the orange head took another step, "I love you Kai. I want to share a life with you too. I'm desperate for your attention because…I need you…"

"Brooklyn…" Kai partially wanted to pound the life out him but the logical and less fuming part suggested that this should be handled cautiously. Regretfully, he decided to go for the latter and spoke in a soft tone, "…I'm already together with the love of my life. Can't you see that? And I don't plan on leaving Ray ever."

"I'm not asking you to leave him, Kai…I just want you to be with me…" he sobbed quietly, rubbing away the tears that trailed down.

"Look, we can't go on like this. Either way this will split us up and I can't bear that," he said in a soothing voice despite his patience was running short.

"How could you even bear living with that…_that_…?"

"Brooklyn-gasp-"

The bluenette could do little but gasp as two lips covered his in a flash, a tongue working out almost immediately. It was a blessing on Brooklyn's behalf that Kai's conscience was shot with astonishment and he was utterly shocked or the Russian would probably have ripped his head off the shoulders. However before he could detach from the revolting kiss, the door of the room opened, allowing in a person who was the last thing on the planet Kai wanted to encounter right then.

Senses finally kicking in, he pushed away from the orange head, which had yet to let him go. Crimson eyes widened in horror that they had been caught and he gasped at the tearful sight of his raven lover.

Kai watched transfixed and rooted to the spot as Ray shook his head in disbelief at the scenario, teeth clenched together to prevent screaming no doubt. When a muffled sob did escape, golden eyes screwed shut, waited for a second before fleeting from the room in despair.

"RAY"

The Russian lunged forward in attempting to reach his koi only to find two hands holding his forearm tightly. When the grip did not let go, he whipped around in extreme anxiety rather fury,

"Let go of me Brooklyn"

The ominous leer he was given sent a shiver down his spine as the said teen gave a lopsided grin, "Oh what's done is done, my dear Hiwatari"

For a fraction of second, Kai was speechless at the sudden sinister metamorphose. But then, like a charging battle ram, the veiled truth hit him. He swallowed the nausea as he choked out the words, "This…this was all preplanned, wasn't it Kingston?"

"Clever boy" Brooklyn purred before pulling out a black cell phone from his white coat and flipping it over.

The bluenette endeavored to string words together but the appalling revelation had left him completely hollow.

Brooklyn smirked domineeringly before speaking into the mouth piece to whosoever on the other side, "Yes mission successful……Though I would admire a little increase in payment. Hiwatari almost dislocated my jaw here……Hmm? Oh it's done. He's gone……Sure thing…See you" Clicking off the phone in an indifferent gesture, he trained his eyes on the now burning hell fires.

"Forget what I said before; I will kill you with my bare hands Kingston!"

"Oh, isn't vengeance just sweet, Hiwatari?"

"What the hell do you mean?" Kai spat though at the back of his mind, he somehow knew the answer.

"Face it Kai, I'm spoilt. I don't like being the second best in everything. From the day we met again, everyone's been giving you the lime light which was mine from the start. No, I don't deserve such degradation."

"So you just went ahead to destroy the lives of other people? That's low even for you Kingston!"

"Oh, I didn't wish to bring this upon you but it seems you're not the only one interested in some exotic golden eyed Chinese boy. They don't like the fact that little Ray has chosen you over them. So they thought I was the best one for the job and here it is"

Kai gasped, "What do you mean? Who are you working for, Kingston?"

"Oh that's just a minor detail. I don't think it's important right now. All's fair in love and war, Kai"

Baring his teeth, he took a threatening step forward, hatred and deep loathing shrouding his features, "It's Voltaire, isn't it? He's the one behind this"

The orange head let out a cackle, "Wasn't Voltaire the one trying to get rid of Ray to get into your pants, Kai? It shouldn't matter to you anyway. You better hurry before your dear love jump over the bridge"

With a dismissive glance, Brooklyn blew him a kiss and exited the room as if he hadn't just tainted two lives.

Kai would have loved to wreak vengeance and break the prodigy's neck or at least bring some terror on him but he couldn't. He watched the teal eyed teen carelessly walking but he couldn't move, the deadening weight of that earth-shattering catastrophe starting to suffocate him little by little. When a second later he did flee from the chamber, he snapped under the weight, the walls of his world breaking into countless pieces ringing in his ears and only one thought haunted him,

"Ray…"

* * *

_**End Flashback**_

_Ray_

Crimson eyes snapped open and the bluenette sat up, the locket slipping from his grasp and falling to the floor. After looking around feverishly, he dropped down to the carpet to pick up the pendant. Making sure it hadn't been damaged; he turned it over where neat Chinese was carved,

'_Be at your side forever'_

His lips gently traced the cool surface as he brought it up to kiss it, a sudden ache slashing his wounded heart apart yet again.

Kai had searched desperately after Ray's untold departure. He had wasted millions but the futile hunt resulted in nothing. At that point, he had more than willingly submitted, a thought that never crossed his mind beforehand. But he gave up. As uncharacteristic it sound, but the heart break had left him vulnerable and his grandfather aware of the whole painful scenario, stepped in. Though mentally he was already broken, Voltaire went beyond the boundaries to bring his younger charge on the leash.

A year of tormenting punishments and tortures gradually passed but Kai still had his two feet under him when ever he was facing the senior Hiwatari. Voltaire had initiated with taking all the wealth and property under his name and stripping Kai till he was penniless. But the bastard hadn't stopped there. Since Kai, having inherited stubbornness in his blood, still had some ounces of vigor and power in him, the bluenette refuse to drop to his knees. Trouble really started eating him vacant when Voltaire targeted his best friend in hopes of breaking his grandson.

And it had worked. Tala and Kai had known each other since five. They had experienced the same hell in their young lives and left Russia together after the Great Hiwatari's downfall. It had been the red head who had first spotted a flicker of interest in the crimson eyes for the raven haired teen when they moved to Japan. It had taken all the persuasion but Kai had ultimately come clean and confessed to the Chinese. After Ray left, it was Tala who had worked tirelessly to collect the shards back together. Now watching his cerulean eyed friend getting abused by his grandfather was not an easy feat for him. So after an extensive long battle, Kai placed his pride aside and resigned to the elder's hateful touches.

Kai had been a victim of his grandfather's lust after turning seven. But by the time, proper damage could be inflicted; he had developed some sensibility and ways to refuse the elder. And Tala had been there to hold his hand and illuminate the way.

It had been somewhat more or less of a year when the war actually ended. Kai's searches had been nothing but vain for it seemed Ray had just dropped off the planet. So it rocked his world when Voltaire had one day brought his gut wrenching leering face to him and proved that the raven head was still alive and well, living somewhere. It made his blood ran cold rather than feeling joyous for this meant the old man could carry out his plans against the neko-jin. When Ray used to be with Kai, his grandfather was conscious about what the young bluenette could bring upon him if he even dared to touch a single hair of his lover let alone hurt him in any possible way. But with both teens thousand of miles apart and the golden eyed teen exposed to his prying hands, it was Voltaire who had the aces in this game.

And Kai being sentient about the dire consequences and for once having enough, broke down. Knowing Ray was alive was adequate but having unjust harm imposed upon him was one step too much. And Kai could not let that happen.

_I'm sorry that I haven't been able to give you what you wanted. But I hope that your new interest can. I wish both of you luck._

Kai gazed up as the door of his room opened, submitting his friend in. Cerulean eyes watched him before Tala shook his head and sighed,

"You're still not ready, Kai…"

The said teen returned the chain around his neck and turning his back to the red head, grabbed his laid out clothes and went to the exclusive bath room.

But before he could close the door shut, the bane of his existence entered the four walls. Two pairs of cerulean and crimson turned to stare at the tall broad form of Voltaire Hiwatari who ever so straightforwardly welcomed him in.

"Your friend is right Kai. It is past 8"

"Yes grandfather"

The elder smirked at the forceful obedient voice, eyes training up and down the teen's well sculptured body, "Perhaps in your mind you're hoping in meeting someone special now that we're in China"

"Wasn't that the reason we first came here, sir?" Tala asked, reining his built up rage as Kai turned away, arms automatically folding across the chest at the disrobing gaze, "To find and I quote 'an eloquent spouse of articulate social altitude to carry out the imminent future genes'?"

Voltaire turned to register the feisty red head, "You better watch that tongue of yours boy. I know how to clip it off _permanently_" With that he exited as ceremoniously as he had entered.

"Bastard…" Tala whispered in a highly inaudible voice.

Kai shook his head and sighing, stepped through the door frame again, "You shouldn't test him Tala."

Closing and locking the door, crimson orbs stared ahead as rain pattered heavily against the chamber's small windows. A stray tear escaped his eyes and Kai hung his head. What was the use of wiping it away, he had been mourning the whole time…

* * *

SCREAM!! I'm SO happy here (halts seeing the teary readers) Oh, sorry, a moment of sorrow and silence……………now, YAY! Can u guys believe this chapter had been blocking half of my stories!!?? I can do a whole native dance around the fire right here. But my mom would probably not allow it. Anyway, I'm hoping against hope that you guys like this. The last was rushed I know and I'm sorry about it. But somehow the only thing on my mind was to finish this in a jiffy. 

So this was a basic prologue. I wanted to drag Kai's POV too and somehow enter Tala's POV as well. But fate decided against it. Sorry but Brooklyn and Lee and a few others might not be showed in the best of the lime light. As for Tania; hell I would have placed a real character here but obviously I could not imagine this friendly trusting business of Ray with Mariah or Hilary. The lyrics are from the song **_'I can't help falling in love with you' by UB40_**; my personal favorite. I'm in serious love with that song, so much that I even drew a sketch for it!

Fasten your seat belts readers, because things will be a hell lot of angst-y from now on. The next update will be after a long time because I'm planning to finish Alien World and Lonely without you first, something I've been planning to do since last year.

R&R

Till next time  
Neena


	2. Chapter 2

Sue me! Come on people, sue me already!! I can't believe I'm neglecting Lonely without you and Alien World because of this. But I just couldn't help myself. Damn temptation and its ugly one eyed face with two horns! I don't have much to say except that I didn't get as many reviews as I expected which makes John a bad boy. Now that was incoherent but really, no fair!

Thanks to Tarnished Iota to keep up her nagging of completing this before doing anything else. Hmm…so I guess the whole blame does not go to ugly one eyed face with two horns temptation…

Please R&R this time. The hits are not encouraging like they are usually and seriously; you guys do not want a sour authoress on your rears. Trust me on this one guys.

Enjoy!

…………

_**Chapter No. 2**_

…………

"And……here we are"

Golden eyes turned to stare out in the wet world, mentally shivering at the aspect of leaving the warmth of the car and into the inclement rain, "It's been raining for too long"

"I thought you liked rain"

"The last time I checked, neko-jins do not prefer water pouring down upon them unless it's under a waterfall on a warm sunny day"

Lee grinned and switched off the lights, the darkness of the abandoned alley eagerly enveloping them as the engine's rumble died; their silhouettes visible only due to the green digits of the clock in front.

"Did you bring an umbrella?"

"Hmm…? Yeah, it's on the back seat" Watching the raven haired beauty reaching backwards to grab the said object, Lee could not help to comment, "Say Ray, you're looking stunning"

"You've already told me that twice"

"It's the truth"

Ray pulled back but did not meet the other's eyes, an ancient emotion of repentance stirring in his chest, "Lee…"

The lion held up his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay…man, a guy can't even pass a compliment these days."

"I think I forgot to bring my card" Ray spoke, hand automatically reaching for the wallet

"Nah…don't worry. They know you better than anyone. It's us, mediocre people, who will not be allowed in without the pass"

"Such mediocre people who completely own their grandfather's trade and wealth that can no doubt allow them to buy a village to live in,"

"Well that's beside the point"

Ray just smiled, opening the wallet but a hand halted his actions. Staring at it inquiringly, he raised his eyes to see Lee staring out of the window.

"I think something's going to happen tonight," Dull hues turned to him, portraying some excited gleam, "Something big. At least that's what my horoscope signs say"

"Yeah well mine claim that my stars will be revolving very soon"

"That's a bad omen"

"When did you start being so paranoid?"

"Hey you never know, do you? Besides, being paranoid is much healthier than being- what's that?"

Before Ray could even contemplate what the other was going for, Lee pulled out the projecting edge of a passport size photo from the black holder in his hand.

The reaction was immediate when the mind confirmed that it was indeed a snap shot of one person the lion loathed with his life. Yellow eyes narrowed while the irises shrunk to mere dots, a fang protruding out immediately as adrenaline rushed into his veins, inciting the locked away hatred in his heart, "What-?" He trailed off his inquiry, as if judging whether Ray would be foolish enough to ask for elaboration.

Training his sight down, he gently took the picture of the crimson eyed bluenette and tucked it back into his wallet's inner most pockets.

His knuckles had turned white from where Lee was painfully gripping the steering wheel, not meeting the discouraged prodigy and glowering out from the windshield, watching the drops pellet down like bullets.

"Lee-"

"What?" The said teen seethed, "It's been three long years Ray!"

"It's not as-"

"Come on, he used you!" The lion turned in his seat to raven head who was staring in his lap, "Why can't you just see that? That bastard took you in, screwed you for his own pleasure and when he got bored, he went whoring with another one! How can you, after three fucking long years, even feel something for that insensitive prick Ray?"

Ray closed his eyes, for once successfully keeping the threatening tears at bay. When he opened, his orbs were blank tunnels, devoid of the internal trauma the neko was feeling, the pain as the cruel dagger of reality stab him again and again or the ringing sound as his already broken world collapsed.

Why did Kai do that? It was one question whose answer he was no where near of finding out.

Lee looked at his comrade, shaking his head, "When will you learn? Face the truth and return to the real world. He never loved you. At least not the way you deserved Ray. The ordeal is over. It was all in the past. Why can't you get it through your thick skull that it's high time to catch up with the rest of the humanity and live a normal life?"

Ray let out a shuddering sigh, his mind screaming at him to retaliate and defend but somehow, his broken heart had other things to say. Lee was, after all, right.

The lion breathed out in frustration, running a hand through his thick black hair, "Why can't you just forget him?"

"I don't know…"

Yellow eyes turned to him, "You can't possibly really love anyone this much, to the least, not some fucking arrogant bastard"

Gradually, he took the umbrella that was resting near his feet, not responding to the statement.

Lee shot a look at the digital clock before taking the umbrella from the raven head, "We should as well be going now" With that he opened the door but did not step out. Training his eyes back to the crestfallen neko, he took his chin in between his finger and thumb, forcing the other to make contact.

Ray finally raised his hues to yellow ones, quietly waiting for him.

"I know I sounded very blunt back there Ray, but it's because I don't want you like this. You know that, I can't bear to see you throw you life to waste. It's already a fucked up mess but don't amplify by dwelling on the history, okay?"

The younger blinked and nodded; endeavoring to reach a peaceful verdict there. The last thing he wanted was to be on his friend's bad side.

"Well come on then" The lion kicked open the door, before getting out. Walking around the automobile, he opened the passenger's door before extending his hand and giving his usual grin, "Will thy fair maiden honor thee to escort her gentleness to their destination?"

Hoping that there were no traces of held tears in his eyes, Ray raised a single brow at the request before swatting the hand and crossing his arms, feigning to be somewhat offended, "This 'fair maiden', as you so illiterately put, is capable of escorting her gentleness to her destination herself, sir knight"

"Don't be a spoil sport and go with the act for once"

"I'd rather fire Tania"

"Wow, really?"

"Don't get your hopes up" Ray laughed if ever so quietly, allowing the lion to pull him out of the car and under the shelter of the umbrella. He was going to take it but Lee took his hand and bringing it to his lips, placed a gradual kiss on the unmarred tanned skin of the knuckles.

"You do look gorgeous, Ray"

"If that's the case then may be I should've gone for that Beauty Queen Contest after all" Even with such a candid response, a jolt ran down his spine, his cheeks heating up at the act.

"I wouldn't have complained" Lee smirked at the image of the raven head amongst those highly powdered, beauty freaks. Wouldn't that make his day?

"Let's just go now before Tania sends a whole search team"

"I'll tell you, that girl bosses you around too much and she's not even the boss yet"

Ray mentally rolled his eyes before walking towards the giant doors for staff's back entrance, trying hard to act immune to tingling that had spread over the place where those lips had touched him on the hand.

…………

Eyes deep shades of violet with a thin streak of silver enlightening them gazed up as a raven haired teen approached them. Long midnight dark hair tied securely in a high ponytail with a few stray locks, tinted purple, cascading before the contrast pale skin and said hues. Clad in skin-tight white blouse and black pants with waist long emerald jacket around the noticeable curves; a name plate with slanting golden inscription showing status and name.

Leaning against the mahogany reception podium with both elbows placed on the polished surface, light glossed lips parted, "Considering that this whole development can somewhat bring a few rays of light in your upcoming bleak raining days, you sure took your time, Ray"

"Lee held me back"

"Why am I not surprised?" Nodding to another passing staff member, Tania continued, "So how many times?"

Raven bangs moved to and fro simultaneously as the teen shook his head, bemused, "He told me at my door, during the drive, in the parking lot, entering the lobby and yeah, just in the kitchen now. About half a dozen times"

"You are so lucky, aren't you?"

"Depends on your definition of luck"

Tania laughed at his expense, "Well, ignoring the fact that I'm agreeing with Lee, you do look great. Just one little adjustment left"

Ray watched as she pulled out an engraved name plate from her pocket and drawing closer, pinned it on the left side of his jacket. It read; Ray Kon, Staff Executive.

"There"

"You were not suppose to give me this until I hand over my card"

"Nah, don't worry Ray. No one has the leisure time to bother with making clones of you. You're not that famous yet"

"Well then how's everything proceeding, 'Madam Staff Coordinator'?" Golden eyes strayed at the engraving before registering her for a reply

Tania would have countered back the slight tease but decided against it. Instead, pulling a small pad and pen, she spoke, "The staff's all here and the cooks are ready. The maestro had given a yes and will be starting any minute now. Drinks and the arrangements have been gone through twice. We are expecting the guests to arrive in less than twenty minutes. Else than that, unless a major catastrophe blows it's one eyed ugly face with two horns in, I think we'll make it through the night in one piece."

"Ray," Both teens turned as a man in his late fifties though posture stout and proud, walked towards them in a traditional but highly exclusive dress. Despite the age factor, the hairs were still in light shades of black and grey, bond in a stiff loop at the back. The man gave him a welcome nod, "You and Lee had me worried there. You do realize this event should be given your utmost responsibility, young man"

"I'm sorry, uncle. Just got tangled with a few things"

"Well be grateful this decent lady is willing to save you from half of the havoc. If the committee decides in favor of you, this could be a great promotion for all our chains of restaurants let alone your own place and not to mention your relatives could take some profit out of it"

His uncle's restaurant had been nominated for one of the top twenty eateries present in Hong Kong and thus some commission decided upon having bit of a contest to see the best at work. Not that it was fame the big cheese was looking for. His main task had been organizing a whole social gathering of some monarch from somewhere in USSR. And the old man had asked Ray and his small staff to assist him this time for future experience.

They had been booked in Czar's, the four star restaurant of Ray's uncle's associate for the evening. The place was huge and lavish and it took the neko two days to affiliate himself with the entire holding. The main marbled dining hall was unoccupied with the exception of waiters in white shirts and emerald pants and skirts marching hither and thither, making last minutes improvements for the start of the ball.

"You better have a last look in the kitchen, Ray. And then get back here"

"What? No, I'm not receiving the guests, Tania"

A thin brow rose, "Pray tell why?"

"I don't do the whole 'Welcome and so nice you came' thing"

"Well you better start practicing, nephew," His Uncle Tahoe spoke, "Because there are a few acquaintances I would prefer you to meet" With that he went off, leaving the two again.

Watching his retreating relative, Ray adjusted his velvet bandana, "I don't have a good feeling about this"

"Your uncle introducing you to some aristocrats and their irksome daughters or this whole ordeal"

"Both"

"You're not usually this bleak, Ray, especially when it comes to being part of such large scale banquets"

"I have a potent feeling that goes on the bad side about this one"

Tania smiled at his insecurity, "So you became psychic and paranoid after spending fifteen minutes in a car with Lee?"

"Hey, you never know, do you? Besides, he thinks it's healthy"

"Well considering he had spent his entire life with you, I will classify it sane, as much as it don't sound like"

"What is _that_ suppose to mean?"

The twenty year old female grinned, "Don't fry your brains now little bro, we will be needing them later when the girls go goo-goo eyes on you"

Ray waved it off before leaving the posh lobby. Leave it to Tania to bring him out of his dark shadow. But even as he made his way towards the grand kitchen doors, his thoughts went over the conversation he had with a certain black haired neko. As much as he hated to think about it in a time like this, one thing stood assured; whether Lee had intended to or not then, he had driven the nail right through his head. And it was killing him right now.

_Something big _is_ going to happen_, Ray thought, _but whatever it is, it will blow over._

Albeit the confirmation, some part of his mind kept nagging that this was not likely.

…………

Golden eyes swept over the space, a deep feeling of contentment enveloping his body at the progress of the banquet. The guests had taken their part of drinks and starters and seemed satisfied enough. The many of the grand crystal chandeliers' light illumined the whole hall in its soft glow, radiating the peaceful firmament as their young progenies proceeded to the vacant floor for a round of couple dance.

Swerving between small groups of ladies wearing best designer's clothes with fluffy minks draped around their shoulders and laughing ever so elegantly, Ray walked with somewhat a dozen drinks balanced in a classy manner on a silver tray, the whole difficult feat not once altering his silent cat-like walk.

"Ray," He stopped to see Tania making a bee line towards him in those high heels, trying hard not to look fretful as she passed a group of foreigners in their early twenties no doubt, "Hide, your uncle is on the hunt for you-"

"There you are" Before none of them could react, another waiter, someone from the said uncle's staff, appeared in front of them out of nowhere, "Master Kon, your Uncle Tahoe expects you"

"Uh…tell him he's not here…?"

"Miss Tania, I'm most surprised at this felony!"

"Well, I need to give these drinks-"

"Not to worry, young sir, I'll handle it. I must say I am impressed," The aged person smiled through his bushy mustache at Ray, taking the tray despite his open reluctance, "After all, this event could not have been conducted better. Now off you go" With that, he turned on his heels and marched off.

Ray gave Tania a withering look, trying to discern some advice but only receiving a resigned expression in the end, "Just so you know, whosoever that celebrity is, he's got four daughters."

"Oh joy"

Violet eyes winked at him playfully as he straightened up and made his way to the corner of the ball room which was lined with golden iron-rod chairs and tables with white linen sheets and exclusive candle stands in the middle. Huge glass windows covered the whole wall with spiral pillars in between and a beautiful balcony out side. Sure enough, his old relative stood with his back to the occupied dance floor with two other Chinese nobles and five ladies in total.

"Ah, here he is," Ray's uncle spoke after noticing him nearby, "This is my nephew Ray Kon, gentlemen. He's the one I was just telling you about"

"Quite a fine lad you have there, Tahoe," One of the elderly men said as he bowed respectfully in greeting, "So you're now assisting your uncle in La Xian I see."

"Yes sir"

"And what do you intend to plan in near future?"

The neko smiled politely, "I haven't decided anything peculiar, sir. It all depends"

The shortest and beefiest of the whole crowd chuckled, his over large belly straining under the fine leather belt he wore across the waist, "Well he's a free spirit! Of course kids of his age wouldn't like to be coop up in some dingy restaurant all the day long, eh?"

"It's just a past time. His father's family had been one of the initiators of this world wide cooking business so it's only natural for him to have proper knowledge how to handle this. You do remember how The Deluxe went up the ladder after…"

Golden eyes peeked from the corner as small shy laughter reached his ears. Dressed in kimonos and glass sandals with black hair tied in buns, were the four young ladies, all seemingly in their teens except the youngest, looking at him from behind the delicate cane fans in somewhat a bashful way.

"Ah, these are my daughters. The eldest is one of the committee members and will be voting for the nominees of this year Honk Kong's best eateries" The tall man introduced.

A second tallest out of the four gently lowered her head in greeting to which Ray bowed as well.

"Why don't you take one of them to dance nephew?"

Ray remained impassive before providing a small smile and nodding. It was very important to be as much traditional and established among the class he had come to live in. Customs and ways still had that ancient modest touch in them yet none could classify them as backward.

"Well that would make a gentleman of him. Go ahead, Mira, Yume," the elder persuaded.

The neko waited for one of them to response for he was not ready to ask himself as to offend any of them. The fact that they were all beautiful and equally enchanting did not heed for him to make a choice. Instead, seemingly the youngest of the sisters, an ebony head stepped forward.

"It will be a pleasure"

"The pleasure is all mine" Taking the young one's hand and leading her to the large dance floor, for a moment he thought whether she was even in her teens yet. The eyes sparkled mischief and something about that face told Ray that the whole meek façade was just a display forced to be put on in the presence of strangers.

Gloved fingers entwined with his and a hand was laid on his shoulder. From where he had an arm around her waist, she was quite shorter than him but no doubt tall for her own age, "The name's Tea"

"Ray Kon"

She smiled, "My father knows your uncle well I think"

"Indeed"

"Is it true that you own a whole restaurant?"

"Not actually. It was new and needed supervising so I just took over to assist since it's hard for my uncle"

"And you like it?"

"Pretty much I'd say. I'm taking two years off my college for this" Ray mentally noted that all that humbleness was down the drain now that the girl was not confounded by the presence of her elders. "What's your age?"

He could practically see a childish amused glint igniting in those hues, "I just turned twelve"

"Really," Ray mused, "You look mature than that"

"Look who's talking? You're what; seventeen? And you have your own dinner place" she grinned, twirling around slowly. She was no where near shy as her siblings

"I will be turning seventeen shortly and beside, would you prefer me to go to those colleges and brood all day long in those dreary lecture rooms?"

"Uh-uh, that wouldn't make you as cool as now"

"I'm pleased to hear that" Ray felt his mood lightening a great deal with the little girl.

They indulged into a short silence, dance moves automatically aligning with the rhythm. Tea looked over to where she had left her family across the threshold before returning her orbs to golden ones again, "Who do you like the most of us?"

Ray blinked at extreme randomness of the inquiry, "What do you mean?"

Tea once more glanced at her sisters, "Who is the most pretty of them?"

Eyebrows raised, the neko tried to maneuver some reply but she beat him to it,

"I think Cho is. She's the second eldest and extremely nice but than Yume and Mira don't come far. Mira's the one in the committee and Yume; she sometimes get on my nerves but I guess that's what older siblings do, right?"

Ray yet again smiled, "You talked about all your three sisters and not yourself. Why?"

She blinked at him before letting out a childish laugh, "I'm not as beautiful as them. My mom says that I'll have my beauty when I grow up. And I can wait for that. Father says I'll be a very elegant woman and honor for the family yet he can't get me to stop climbing all the trees in the garden"

"I can just imagine"

"It's a difficult feat on his behalf," She laughed before turning somewhat somber. "So you're with someone?"

Golden eyes mused over the young prodigy's yet again not-so-coy query. Okay, so they were getting a bit too personal, a bit too fast. Even then Ray couldn't find in him to turn the girl off. Instead he only shook his head once.

"It must be hard being single for you huh?"

"Are you sure you're twelve?"

Tea pouted cutely before glancing down, "I was just curious"

"Well, I can conclude that as much"

"You're not an average human being so it just triggered some nosy instinct in me. I did not mean to offend"

"None taken"

"It must be pleasant living alone, right? I mean then you don't have elder siblings smothering you and hampering you off every second of every hour of every day"

The golden eyes dimmed at the perception and turned to the stare across the house, the old haunting memories of his long period of seclusion briefly materializing in his mind. The reason being the betrayal of a certain crimson eyed teen…

"You look sad Ray"

Jumping out of his short reverie, he turned back to his little dance partner.

"I know, I have a big mouth but did I say something wrong?"

"No but I would disagree with you. Living alone can usually drive people insane. Surely it looks very appealing initially but you try extending some time and you would find your elders' squabbling much more anticipating."

Tea gradually nodded and came to a stop as the music ended so as to halt the dancing ritual. Through the gentle applause from the guests, they bowed before turning back to each other, "Thanks for dance"

"Yeah, I enjoyed your company"

"You're just saying. You think you'll be able to handle me if I visit at La Xian some time?"

Ray chuckled, "I'd be more than happy to have you for a day. Maybe you could learn a thing or two about a restaurant yourself"

She laughed, "Hopefully you'll not regret making that offer. See you"

The neko watched as the twelve year old walked off, the steps becoming lighter and concealed as Tea neared her family. He bowed in reply when her father smiled and nodded to him. Taking it as a cue that the tête-à-tête was over, he left the dance floor, making his way to the buffet table and the dining arrangements.

_Now that was refreshing._

"Amazing, you survived!"

Golden eyes turned as the twenty year old appeared beside him, the girl holding a silver tray with a crystal goblet on it, "It wasn't bad"

"Well start partying later Ray. I think you should go to the kitchens and see the desserts. Lee is harping about something along the lines of cherry syrup instead of chocolate mousse."

"Yeah sure," Ray turned, only to call back again, "Tania,"

The said female stopped and raised her brows for him to continue.

"You feel something's going to happen?"

Tania gave him an understanding smile before patting his arm lightly, the tray held up in the other hand, "Hey you survived all this, only a bit more Ray. I can sense that you're feeling insecure but you've been through worse, right?" Seeing her younger comrade nod, she added, "If something really goes wrong, you can always excuse yourself"

"No, I'm okay. Just worn out I guess"

Watching his friend going away, Ray turned his orbs to the dancing couples performing on another classical melody. For a moment, a memory relied in his mind of a masked party his Russian lover had taken him during their short but blissful time spent together.

Ray blinked, _where did that come from??_

Turning his gaze away, he shook his head. It took him years to forget the hateful times and only a small relic of a picture had the flood gates opened again. All those memories…

_I have to start thinking straight. Enough pessimism for the night, I need---_

That was when it happened.

The golden eyed teen stiffened as a brief of red flashed in front him, much distance away, yet it had been there nonetheless. Sense returned from where the nerves had become numb and hoping against hope he had hallucinated or the lights were deceiving his senses, the neko took small hesitant steps through the groups and dancers, uncertainty enveloping him as he drew nearer to the spot that fiery mane had met his sight. His mind conjured up a pair of Caribbean blue and he internally shivered at the undeniable aspect.

But there was nothing.

Circling around, searching through the crowd, Ray felt somewhat relieved. He really was being paranoid. There were, if not many, quite some redheads present and there was no saying that what he saw actually had to do with what he was considering. No, there was no plausible way to prove his notion.

Composing himself, he was about to make his way to the kitchen when another peculiar spectacle entered the very boundaries of his sight. To the small portion of humanity surrounding him then, a silent gasp was the only reaction revealed however, the internal façade shattered to smithereens.

A suffocating feeling enveloped his soul, dissolving the world around him, the walls converging and drawing nearer.

"Kai…"

Though over the long span of time, the precise contours of the face had matured into even more attractive ones, the two toned hair grown in a ponytail and a somber appearance for an expression; the crimson hues were still the same and even with the space in between, Ray had no trouble in recognizing the bluenette enigma.

_Kai…It's…its Kai…what is he doing here?_

Like in a dream like state, not knowing what possessed him, the neko, on shaky legs, advanced where the Russian was sitting around the table though all other occupants were hidden from view behind the vast pillar.

Ray felt a tingling in his eyes but refused to register the ignoramus fact that crystal tears had gathered, partially obscuring his view as Kai raised his face to respond to whosoever he was having for company and lifting his goblet as if for a toast. Watching the teen nodding, the Chinese could no longer hold the content feeling of ecstasy in his chest as he quickened his pace. There he was…after three long years…

But curse that fickle finger of fate, for the next of the seconds caused all impatience and eagerness within him to dissipate into nothingness.

Golden eyes watched as the ivory hand of his koi reached beneath his clothes, where the chest pocket was, to pull out a purple velvet casing of finger ring. Oblivious to the fact that he was being watched so intently, the bluenette opened the case to expose a delicate silver ring with a white pearl in the middle. A nimble left hand adorned with white silk glove and a golden bracelet appeared to his side, the female person unseen behind the spiral construction. Time seemed to slow as Kai picked up the jewelry in between his finger and thumb and proceeded to put the engagement ring on the hand presented.

Ray raised his own hand to his mouth, restraining his inner conscience from screaming as a round of applause came from that particular table, the party obviously pleased with the arrangements while the Russian simply moved back in his seat, face emotionless and eyes dull.

"Ray??"

He whipped around, raven bangs swaying, to the familiar voice speaking his name. Golden clashed intense cerulean and Ray gasped in shock to see yet another dweller of his long locked memories.

Those said eyes, too, widened from behind the twin red strands, the porcelain plate dropping to the floor in a loud crash as Tala numbly registered the Chinese before him, his mind momentarily stopping.

If his voice had not been vociferous enough to attract attention, then the crashing of the crockery ultimately did. Somewhat quick to recover though surprise still having grubby affects on him, all the breath left Ray's body when he turned back. Only to find the light shaded front bangs moving in his direction, pale lips parting in alarm, a look of familiarity rekindling in those pools of blood as Kai met his frightened gaze.

_No…_

Before the gathering could actually pull together, before any one could even consider moving a limb, Ray did the first thing that came to his mind. He turned on his heels and fled, his ponytail realigning with the concurrent steps of his hasty retreat.

"What- Ray, wait!"

Finally coming around and snapping from the bolt from the blue, Tala blinked twice and lunged after the fleeting raven haired beauty, guests sensibly parting and giving way to the anew goose chase.

"Ray!"

Watching his best friend pursue his ex-lover, Kai leapt from his chair and stood immediately; mind occupied only with the image of fearful golden hues. But before another stride could be taken, two silk covered hands grabbed his forearm and he turned to meet confused soft hazel eyes of his new young fiancée. Seeing the hurt look as she tried to decipher some logic of the situation, crimson eyes moved to the head of the table where his grandfather sat, looking livid.

"Sit Kai" The low whisper was able to carry it self to the teen, knowing that the ancient oceanic memories had been resuscitate.

Torn between the agonies of indecision, Kai turned his sight to where the two other had melted in the mass, a single thought playing his mind,

_Ray…_

…………

"Come on both of you, we need to send these deserts NOW!"

"You can't have chocolate with coffee soufflé!"

"And why would that be?"

"Because-"

"Would you two stop it?"

Lee was about to snap back at the elder cook when the doors of kitchen burst open, admitting a distressed raven head teen, before flinging back shut.

"Ray?"

The lion was about to approach his childhood friend who rushed in, high on desperation, dodging the waiters, cooks and food trolleys clustered in between the metal aisles before wrenching the opposite door open and exiting through it which led to back basement and out of the building.

Just as the end of his ponytail vanished around the corner, the main doors once again banged open as a red head dressed in white entered, ignoring the cries of surprise of the staff as he accidentally knocked down a stack of dirty dishes. Cerulean eyes paused at the door at the end and followed suit, half way raising hands to push the wood before stampeding down the spiral staircase.

_Oh shit, was that Tala?_

Amber eyes narrowed, Lee, throwing his whole argument to the winds, went to entrance. Peeking out through the glass panels, his suspicion was confirmed when he saw the two toned haired person, granted his utmost loathing, standing far across the hall.

Irises dilating to mere dots and a fang protruding, he hissed, "Hiwatari…"

……………

Ray didn't have the slightest idea where he was running to yet he did not stop to reconsider. Footsteps thundered behind him as his legs automatically, carried him through the spiral staircase, the thought of escaping only gracing his mind.

"Ah!"

The sound of two bodies clashing went unheard by the neko's senses as he stumbled back up from where he had collided with a kitchen staff member. Wincing as his nerves registered the pain in his shoulder where he had hit the wall, golden eyes stared at the young man, fright evident.

"Mr. Kon, are you okay?"

Panting from all the running, Ray looked around feverishly, endeavoring to maneuver some sort of hiding place than to answer the inquiry. He bit his tongue as the steps of his pursuer sounded somewhat closer. Giving the man he had so brashly knocked to the ground a pleading look, he jumped a couple of steps down to the platform leading to two opposite corridors, before opening the broom closet to his right and taking cover.

Before the man could even stand, another teenager ran passed him, only to stop and look from left to right as if discerning which path the neko took. Icy cerulean eyes turned to him and he felt frozen under the gaze,

"Ray, where did he go?"

Pretending to be highly panicky about the scenario, he raised a shaky arm and pointed to the corridor contrast to where the Chinese had gone. The red head seemed to judge him but in the end, took his suggested path.

Letting out needful gasp since he had been unknowingly holding his breath, he slowly scrambled to his feet, one hand going over to the bruised chest where he was knocked into.

He almost yelled when the broom closet opened again and the raven head jumped out. Those sunlit hues turned to him for a brief second before Ray sprinted away to the path leading to the back exit of the restaurant where only staff members were allowed.

_What was all that about?_

…………

His footsteps came to a sudden halt at the edge of the building as Ray stared out in the wet world from the door frame, rain pelting down from the cloud filled sky. He needed to go away. He needed to get far from here. As soon as possible

_Kai…Kai was here and…Tala too…_

What were they doing here? The image of his lover rolling an engagement ring up those beautiful gloved covered hands flashed before him.

And that was all the motivation he needed.

Not knowing where his hurried footsteps were leading him, Ray ran into the downpour, the harsh rain drops mixing up with the crystal tears escaping profusely through his eyes, making them and the pain inside him undistinguishable. It seemed as if history was repeating itself; the same chronicle occurring again and through his far out state of perplexed frenzy, the neko recalled a similar night three years ago of running away in the rain, trying yet not succeeding in placing as much as expanse possible in between the event which had again brought up the long forgotten juices of repentance, regret and rage.

_Did I mean so little to him? Was I just another some one who came in his life for a short period and went away? _

If that was the case then how come his heart can not accept that? Why did he still feel the anguish burning in him, smothering his sanity to ashes? Was this the man he had sold his life and essence to? How could he be so blind? What if Kai never even wanted him like he dreamt about? What if it was just about an easy lay?

_Lee was right…How…how can I even think of loving a person like this? How can I let something like this happen to me? It's been three years…_

His tireless charade broke into unwilling trot before stopping altogether. Ray hung his head, breathing irregular, as heavy drops fell on him before lifting his gaze to acknowledge yet another sardonic irony. He had reached a head way of a bridge with a canal below. His shoulders shook and he sniffed; it was all happening once more. His soul was being torn again.

"Ray!"

The neko became rigid as splashes behind him were heard. Not even turning around, he once more darted away, sensing his pursuer drawing near. But this time however, luck decided to abandon him in the cruel hands of fate.

"Stop," Tala charged at the running prodigy, grabbing him from the waist and pushing down into rain water on the concrete ground, collected in puddles.

"NO!" Ray struggled wildly as two hands grabbed his wrists and turned him from where he had landed on his front. But all resistance washed away once he made contact with those blue orbs. The rain somewhat lessened though the cold breeze picked up speed as both teens, one lying beneath while the other pinning him down, registered each other. Gradually, Tala stood, still concatenating the wrists with his slender fingers, and helped the neko up too.

Despite the loud crash of thunder and lightening, the shower became further lighter.

Ray saw as the red head tore his gaze away from him to slowly look up and down, taking in his recent façade. The raven mane elongated with the front tresses rather thicker, the Chinese had metamorphosed into an even stunning being, the previous immaturity one could have found in the past replaced with astuteness and sensation on the sun kissed face. Yet the lightly swollen eyes had something else to say.

Now that face to face, the redhead Russian seemed to force his mind to speak, parting the pale lips to open and close yet nothing came out. The neko watched his futile tries though did not lend any sort of help. Instead he tugged his caught hands free to wrap his arms around himself, the wind growing much harsher now, leaving him vulnerable in that thin drenched emerald jacket.

"W-what are you doing here?" Tala finally stuttered out his disbelief. The guy was alive and he was standing there in front of him. It was almost too good to be true…

"He's getting engaged"

Stomach flipping, the cerulean eyes widened, not at the blunt statement, which was abrupt on its own, but at the remorseful voice which had spoken it. Standing there, with the rain seizing yet the breeze had taken up its speed; Tala could do less than stare at the face of the younger that turned away to one side, raven bangs swaying as if trying to hide the neko from his gaze. Not able to contain him, he elevated a shivering hand and gently brushed away the stray hair, trying to make contact with the golden hues.

Ray tilted his head towards the intruding limb, eyes narrowing as it approached nearer though it refrained when he slowly looked up and whispered quietly, "Kai is getting engaged isn't he?"

The taller teen drew a sharp breath in and dropped down his arm. However there was no response. The golden eyes further narrowed, waiting for his assessment. But as the silence stretched, he sighed, "Kai…he's, well……Ray, I don't think I should be the one to tell-"

Spraying splashes of water everywhere, hurried footsteps reached them and Ray was not able to keep himself from gasping loudly as crimson orbs stare at the raven head who took a step back in retreat. The bluenette halted to a stop at the start of the bridge, the two tone hairs swinging as the wind played with them, face showing assortments of emotions.

Ray's breath hitched up, the previous discontent vanishing from his thoughts, as Kai, taking long strides, reached within two feet of him. Finally, panic registered through his numb brain and he turned to flee.

"Ray wait" Kai grabbed the younger and pulled him back by the forearms. The neko was here, he could touch him, feel him. But however his heart was somehow keeping him from celebrating at the moment. In spite of everything, this was not the kind of reunion he had deemed upon.

Tala watched the stand by between the two lovers, quietly worried at the circumstances they were indulged in. The past had been reawakened; Ray had yet again witnessed something at the wrong time in the wrong place with his best friend amidst the performance. Cerulean eyes traveled to the pale face, wondering how the enigma had evaded his grandfather this time. Whatever the dodging was, the afterwards outcome was not going to be pretty.

The Chinese lost himself in those burning hues of molten fire, relinquishing the warmth they emitted as the Russian drew closer to him. Hearing Kai's voice, hell just seeing him standing there; holding him with his hands was worth anything on the planet right now. But it was not long for the slight euphoria to evaporate and reality, being the sneaky bastard that it was, dawned upon him.

Gloved hands…diamond ring…

Kai kept a good check on his astonishment though his eyes widened when the other jerked away from this touch, a hand tugging back the loose raven strands from his face and arms once again snaking around the torso as the wind whistled slowly.

"What are you doing here?"

The bluenette could not respond at the venom-filled whisper directed towards him, the golden orbs looking at him accusingly from behind the bangs. Kai's mind replayed the scene his lover had witnessed at the dinner and turned away to sigh. Where to start? What to tell?

"I asked something, _love_"

The redhead gradually closed his eyes at the taunt, taking a step backwards to distance him from the situation. Though hating himself, he decided upon not to intervene. It could prove to be more capricious than beneficial.

Ray could see Tala edging away but it did not matter to him. Nothing seemed to. Sniffing once, he stared down at his feet. He never counted on this meeting. In fact, this was what he feared the most when he came back to China. This confrontation was nothing and yet everything, like his mind conjured up.

Watching the neko, Kai swallowed and spoke, "You're okay"

"Does it matter?"

"It matters the world to me" Kai turned completely to face the younger one who was still evading his gaze by staring at the stone ground.

"Funny; that's what I always thought. However you've remarkably proved me wrong not once but twice" Ray whispered back, raising his eyes to glower at the other.

Kai, warily, did not reply.

"It's not what you think, Ray"

Golden eyes switched to the third person present, "Is it, now? Enlighten me"

Tala waited for a moment to see whether the bluenette would protest against his arbitrating before continuing. But the neko did not let him,

"He's getting married!"

Both Russians stared at the sudden outburst from the youngest before briefly sharing a look. The red head gave the impassive crimson eyes a helpless look, mutely begging him to try and set things straight though they seemed to be in a world of their own.

"You're being engaged…" Ray whispered more to himself than to the company. He kept mumbling, shaking his head ever so lightly before speaking somewhat loudly again, "……And you go away……and get married after all?"

"Ray-"

"How could you? H-how could that mean nothing to you?" Ray murmured, still babbling incoherently to himself, "I thought…I can't believe…not you…no…it wasn't…Kai?"

The said teen mentally cringed at the distressed look he was given but settled upon acting now, "Ray, please listen to me-"

"First me, than Brooklyn and now this…this girl; your fiancée," he kept shaking his head in mistrust, barely standing on his knees, "Is that it? You just take someone in and then…when you're done…"

"Ray" Kai spoke out; astonished at the allegation coming from none other than the person he cared most about.

"How…How could I even let you do t-that to me?" Ray whispered, eyes wide and uncertain, looking feverishly around as if to find answers there

"Ray, please, stop this," Taking the hold of the arms again, the bluenette shook him. The neko had lost it. He was not thinking straight.

"Don't touch me!" Pulling away rashly, Ray seethed at the older, true waves of anger taking him over in their embrace, "Don't ever touch me!"

Seeing as if this wasn't getting anywhere, Tala took a moved forward, "Ray just trust him-"

"Trust him; trust him?" the raven head turned sharply to the other, "Does he even know the meaning of that word? Do you Kai?"

"Ray, look-" The situation was getting to him more than he would ever show

"I did trust you, Kai! I trusted you when you told me I was the one! I trusted you when you assured me it was Brooklyn not you! I trusted you, Kai! When all those late nights you would whisper to me; when I confessed to you about everything. How was I to know that you would be occupied with someone else? No, I-I can't trust you, Kai! I can never trust you again!"

"Would you at least let me explain?"

"Explain what? Your marriage arrangements"

Kai felt torn in taking his part in the heated argument the neko was so vocally sounding and keeping cool. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he tried again to bring the now hysterical teen in control, "Ray…just…give me chance and hear me out"

"Tell me this. On what number is she, Kai?"

"What?"

Ray sneered, "How many have been there before her?"

"You're talking insane"

"Am I?" Cackling, he turned to the taciturn redhead, "You can tell me Tala. Are you going to be the best man on the ceremony or you two having an affair?"

"Ray, stop this" Kai hissed

Golden eyes clashed with crimson, widening at the threatening sound before narrowing all the same. If the bluenette was intent on facing him head on like his, he could bring it on! "Truth hurts, right?"

Clenching his teeth softly, the enigma closed his eyes and took a deep breath, waiting for the overwhelming rage to cease down its tide before addressing the younger teen, "Come with me"

"Huh?" Ray automatically took a step backwards at the candid request, his mind taking some time to assess what was said to him.

"I want you to come with me, Ray"

Tala had expected a lot in response from the raven teen but the dry laugh that rang out was not one of them.

"Come with you? Yeah right! Why? Already bored with your new playmate? That surely took less time"

"Ray, stop this _now_" Kai growled. The Russian was losing control, that was apparent but the neko seemed no where near ending his hasty release of emotions.

"Why should I?" Ray countered, not realizing that his liberation could cause bloodshed, "Sorry, but you have the wrong guy. Three years are enough to put sense in anyone Kai Hiwatari! I made the biggest mistake of my life then but I am not planning to repeat it now!"

"Ray, I'm warning you-"

But he did not pay heed to the words spoken, "You can have anyone under you but it's not going to be me! I will not allow you to toy with me again!"

Tala could see the ceaseless pressure building up yet the Chinese refused to register it, "Ray…"

"People have their own dignity and honor if you haven't noticed till now, you bastard. I'm not your whore Kai! I refuse to be an easy lay this time!"

"Enough!"

Kai's palm connected with the tanned cheek as the slap sounded through the hush firmament, the sudden silence of the wind seemingly amplifying the deadness that followed. Time seemed to take its lazy toll as the raven head whipped at the force, the bangs swinging forward, the eyes wide and mind too frozen to register the initial jolt.

The redhead's pliant lips parted in a silent gasp as the neko stumbled to the side, face downwards, mouth open, features reflecting nothing but apparent shock at the bolt from the blue. Cerulean eyes disbelievingly turned to the bluenette whose, upon closer observation, shoulders shook with fine tremors, hand still latched out where he had smacked his koi.

"Is that how you take me for? Is that it Ray?"

A small pant and then another one, Ray panted slowly, still bent in the direction of the strike. He raised his hand unsteadily towards the bruise before gradually turning to meet blazing fire in those hues he had assumed to have reached the depths of. His fingers merely brushed against the skin as his vision of the seething bluenette blurred due to the tears now starting to collect in the corners, all resentment down the drain.

"Is this how low you could consider me for?"

…Kai…Kai had…Kai had hit him.

"Do you really think I came off untouched all these years? Can you for a second, so inconsiderately, think that I enjoyed life to the full?" Kai whispered back, lowering his arm, expression still dark.

Stifling a sob, he mindlessly took a step backward, only to have his legs give way and dropping to the ground. Yet he still did not break the eye contact with the searing crimson.

Kai watched the tears that threatened to release as the neko stayed on the cold bridge, hand on the side of the face he had so uncaringly slapped. The gleaming golden eyes lowered as his words registered in his mind, gaze down in shame for the fatuous allegations he had placed upon the other.

The rain drops fell, slowly before picking up speed, the shower becoming much heavier than before where it had seemingly seized. But even through the pouring, there was no significant movement. That was until Kai let out a deep breath and turned back to the neko from where he was still keeping his sight on the cold ground. Taking a small step near him, the bluenette sighed again, feeling drained and uncertain, "Ray…listen to me and please come with me-"

But the Russian was never able to complete his request as at the precise moment, a kick lashed out and went straight for his head. Years of training had its advantage and Kai was able to dodge the surprise attack by ducking and stepping back. But before his mind could make out his assailant, another blow came with a loud battle cry. Instincts kicked in and he grabbed the offensive punch in his hand, effectively halting it in mid air. Though the sudden defense opened his sides and he stumbled back, his back hitting the stone railing, as a boot caught him squarely in the chest.

"Dare put a finger on him and I swear I'll cut it off Hiwatari!"

A furious storm raging in those crimson eyes faltered for a moment before returning to its full cataclysmic fury as Kai registered the neko before him, "You?"

"Look what the world tossed back," Lee replied, not bothered by the murderous hiss, as he straightened up from where he had successfully hit the other. Amber eyes turned sharply to the redhead who as well looked a bit flabbergasted but the little surprise was now replaced by a sub-zero icy glare. Snorting, the lion turned to his fallen comrade.

Ray watched as the black haired neko crouched before him. His eyes observed the now quickly swelling bruise before he let out a beastly growl. Still, restraining his boiling temper, Lee helped him up and turned to the two Russians.

"What the hell are you two doing here?"

"The same question could be asked by you" Tala replied coolly, his arms crossing over his chest at the mere sight of the lion. Oh, what wouldn't he give to have a swipe at the condescending face of that guy?

"You two are standing in my homeland so don't try being a smart ass with me, Ivanov"

"Hark who's talking. I'm surprised you've got enough time to pull your head out between your legs to notice."

Lee growled in warning, fangs visible from behind the snarl on his lips

"And forgive my lingering curiosity but shouldn't you be behind bars by now?" Tala continued

As the two took out the heat, golden eyes turned to the red pair before a shiver went down his spine. Kai was glowering at his friend with intensity that was alien to him. He never thought there would be a chance when his lover could practically loathe someone. Kai never let anything get to him. In fact he was always so indifferently immune to almost……everything. So why wasn't he now? And of all people, why Lee?

_Just another thing to add that I really didn't know him as well as I think I did. _

Obviously sensing it, Kai blinked out of his daze and turned to the raven teenager who looked nothing but lost. His sight traveled to the red mark on the other's cheek and the light within his eyes died away. Did he do that? Founding himself in a speechless condition, Kai moved to advance towards the neko but his legs failed him when his boyfriend took a hasty step back, frightened.

"Stay away from him Hiwatari."

"Ray come with me" Kai spoke slowly, blatantly ignoring the other

"Fuck off" Lee swore, coming in between the two

"Ray…" The bluenette tried futilely once more, taking a small step closer as if approaching a scared animal. But the feverish shaking of head stopped him.

Lee felt the triumph of victory internally at Ray's denial and turned to sneer at the Russian, "Are you that shallow Hiwatari? Don't you get it? He's not your freaking property! You had your chance and you threw it to the winds, so back off now!"

"When did you starting playing the Good Samaritan, Lee?"

"Go away"

The whisper stopped the three from starting another round though did a number on Kai who swallowed at the dead command directed to him from the golden eyes. The waves of defeat hit him and for seconds he just stood there looking through the rain at the neko.

"Ray, please, you have to believe him" Tala approached after seeing the defeated look on his best friend's face.

Taking the younger by his shoulders, Lee pulled the raven head behind his back for shielding, openly displaying his possessiveness and could not help but smirked when the crimson eyes widened at his gesture. He had hit the nail right on the head.

"No" Kai whispered at the protectiveness, eyes turning from one neko to the other, endeavoring to prove his straying thoughts wrong. His lips parted when Ray, as if in retaliation, drew closer to the amber eyed teen.

"What's the matter Hiwatari? Loss of words" Lee mocked, adding salt on the wound

"Are you two together?" Even as the surprised inquiry left his pale lips, Tala knew it was a mistake. And Kai's next stuttering proved it.

"Ray…you can't…" The truth hit him like a bucket of cold water and he rendered to swim to clear water but his mind had just shut off, "Ray…you…you don't know him-"

The said person narrowed his eyes, "I never knew you either Kai"

Kai halted in trying to string words together and closed his lips at the finality of the sentence. It was over. It never began to end in the first place. But it was over for now. Training his eyes down for a second, a sigh left his lips. Ray…his Ray was with that bastard son of a bitch who wrecked everything.

And there was nothing he could have done.

Cerulean eyes watched, stunned, as the bluenette slowly turned on his heels and retreated. Tala stared at his friend but couldn't come up with something fast enough. His shoulders slumped somewhat before he turned to pass a glare to the amber eyed black head. Ignoring the middle finger he received in return, his eyes switched to the other.

_You're making a mistake, Ray_

The redhead turned and left the scene, following the almost undistinguishable silhouette in the rain, not once looking back.

"Those good for nothing, ass holes-"

But Ray did not listen. Pulling away from where Lee was so domineeringly holding him, he stumbled towards the edge of the bridge. This was not happening. He knew something was going to happen tonight but this he had not intended upon something being this big. Golden eyes swept over where his koi had disappeared into the night.

_Kai…_

The sudden throbbing caused his hand to automatically reach up to caress the stinging skin yet he could only bring himself to even brush the tips of his fingers for his soul was having difficulty in stomaching the fact that Kai had slapped him

'_I would never let anyone hurt you, Ray'_

Renewed tears gathered in his eyes as the neko's mind took another walk down the memory lane.

…

_**Flashback**_

"When will he return?"

"I'm not sure Master Ray but you should not worry much"

The neko chuckled, "I'm not worried. He's a tough bastard"

"Yes indeed and you should respect that," The aged butler replied, handing the neko on the couch a thin blanket, "While you on the other hand are supposed to be taking rest"

"I am" Ray protested, wrapping himself deeper in the blanket before looking over to the large living room windows. It was, thankfully, not raining but the severe weather still made his insides stir, "Kai really shouldn't be out there at this time"

The butler also followed the younger one's gaze, "He's used to these. They are common in Russia"

"Yeah, but shouldn't a meeting be re-scheduled in such circumstances. It's been like this for three days"

"Where Master Kai goes, there's no need for an umbrella I assure you"

Training his sight to the fire grate, the neko closed his orbs, "Of course. We're after all talking about the owner of Asia's largest Vodka chain and-"

"Master Kai isn't the owner yet, Master Ray" The man was in his early fifties though an influential and authoritative aura hung in his demeanor with grey hair combed back, posture tall and stout. "He's only fifteen. His parents' will claim his partial ownership at sixteen and the business domain will not be completely handed over till he turns eighteen. These meetings he's always rushing off to; are actually held with his parents' best friend; Kai's lawyer. You can say that the young master is in training for now"

"Well I still believe he owns it, Dimitri. I won't be handed over my family's business till I'm at least seventeen"

Ray watched lazily lying on the couch as the elder poked the burning pieces of coal with a fire stoker. He still felt a bit sweaty but the fever had been better. Stupid rain, he had to stay in bed for almost a week.

Ding Dong

"Kai" The raven head rose expectedly but the butler's frown stopped him mid way

"No, he doesn't need to ring the bell. Who in their right mind would come at one in the morning?"

Watching the butler leaving the vast yet cozy room, Ray snuggled back into his temporary bed, wishing that a certain Russian would hurry up so he could cuddle next to him instead.

But the following loud shouts caused all the thoughts to abandon his mind. Rising from the comforter, Ray placed his feet on the floor as clear sounds of struggles and a hell lot of Russian made its way to his ears. Just as he stood up, a gun shot sounded, shaking the very foundation of the chamber.

"Dimitri!"

Ray made his way to the door but before he could even take a few steps, the half ajar oak door burst open, admitting a person whose sight froze the very blood in his veins.

Predatory crimson eyes turned to meet his wide golden ones. But he was not given a chance to even take a breath let alone move as the man advanced in like a battling ram.

"You…"

Though façade still shrouded with shock, Ray endeavored to maneuver some escape route as his soon to be assailant closed in.

A cry left his lips as something solid hit the side of his face, causing him to stumble back and trip. Landing on his shoulder, Ray hissed in pain when warm blood started to trickle down his cheek. Raising frightened orbs to the elder, the neko scrambled to his feet, once more alarmed at what fate had tossed at him

"Lord Voltaire" The said person sneered before drawing closer once again. Rooted to the spot, the neko could do less than stare at those dangerous slits.

"I was curious to what my grandson has been keeping himself occupied with." He snorted in disgust, "Country trash"

Swallowing, Ray tried to reply despite the dry throat, "I thought-you…were in jail…in Russia"

The other smirked at his insecurity, "I doubted whether Kai would bother to introduce me. But then again why shouldn't he?"

The Chinese teen took a step back as the man let out a bark of laughter, mind shouting him to flee though legs refusing to co-operate. He feared this person more than anything he had ever feared in his life.

"So tell me, boy, where is that disobedient charge of mine?" Voltaire asked; looking around, face portraying a hint of insanity.

"You-you shouldn't be here" The words were out before he could stop them

Slap!

Ray once more staggered back, his face whipping around at the force. The head had turned sharply at him, features livid at being told something.

Voltaire watched in perverted amusement as the younger prodigy gasped, his breath coming out in pants as all air had left his body at the unpredicted blow, "Don't you dare talk back to me, bitch. You are after all in my domain now"

"This is Kai's house" Ray whispered back, having no idea why he was swimming in even deep waters, "You are the one who don't belong here"

Face contorted in rage, Hiwatari spitted back "So he found a feisty one, eh? Your kind is indeed hard to locate but I wouldn't let it past my dear grandson"

Ray's back stiffened as the elder started to close in on him. He could feel those eyes on him as Voltaire circled around him, taking in his attractive features with lust evident.

"I can see why Kai felt for you now" Out of the blue, he grabbed the raven hair, partially basking in the pained cry leaving those pliant lips as he wrenched them harshly. Pulling the teen back into his chest, he whispered in the pointed ear, keeping a tight grip on the back of his head, "I haven't encounter such beauties for a long time myself"

Ray struggled hard in the hold, tears stinging his eyes but his thrashing brought even greater pain. A gasp left his lips and all movement halted as a hand groped his thigh. High on despair, he could not help but whimper when fingers dug into his skin through his thin clothes.

"Tell me, how does Kai treat you in bed? Is he harsher than this?" Voltaire grinned when the Chinese let out a scream as he grabbed him in between the legs.

"Let go!!"

Voltaire clenched his teeth in annoyance as sharp nails tore away his flesh when the younger clawed his hands violently, "Stop wriggling you whore"

"NO! Let me go" Ray thrashed about, alarms running off as the man tried to bring him under control. He froze, eyes shutting on their own accord as the grip in his lower mid tightened near to paralysis

"I said stop wriggling"

Biting his lip open, Ray sobbed quietly, doing what the grey haired man had demanded him to do, the painful throbbing almost rendering him unconscious.

"That's better now, isn't it?"

"Voltaire!!"

Both occupants in the room turned towards the bluenette standing in the doorway, jaw clenched and fists balled. Crimson eyes traveled from the hateful face of his grandfather to the raven head whose hair were concatenated in the elder's vice grip, tears staining the sun kissed face with a prominent cut on one side. Kai growled, the rumble low and meaningful,

"Release him, NOW"

Knowing that the beast had been rekindled, Voltaire did so, shoving the younger ruthlessly towards the floor. Ray fell on his side, his shoulder making contact with something hard and a sound of china breaking reaching his ears. His mind was so numb with the sore experience that it did not register the shouting, threats and curses ringing out in the firmament. All he did was close his eyes, wishing for the agonizing twinge in his legs to dissipate.

It was quite some time when a slamming of door was heard before some more talk and then silence. Raising a shaky hand, the neko gripped the sidearm of the couch he had been lying in and tried getting up.

"Ray"

Hearing his name shouted out by the familiar voice, he turned, ignoring the ache that ran through his head. Two arms snaked around him and he let out a shuddering sigh in the chest as he returned the gesture whole heartedly.

"Hey…" Kai spoke gently, stroking the silky mane while clutching his lover closer, "…I'm sorry"

"You sure took your time" Ray whispered; face still hidden, shivers running through him. He was drained. But yet he kept himself from crying.

Crimson eyes narrowed as the neko cringed visibly when he traced his fingers on the now cold but wet blood, "Fucking bastard…"

"He used his metal staff," Ray quietly explained, feeling secure in the embrace. Letting out another sigh, he looked up from where he was nestled against the bluenette on the floor, "D-Dimitri?"

"He's okay…Voltaire shot him in the arm…but he'll live. The doctors must have taken him to the hospital by now"

"Kai…Voltaire…he's out?"

Kai averted his gaze to stare out the window, "I don't know. I really have no idea Ray"

Straightening up, the raven head swallowed slightly, "So now what?"

The Russian offered him a small smile before gently cupping the back of his head, massaging it in a soothing way. Watching the golden eyes close, he somewhat felt at ease, "Don't worry. We'll be fine. I would never let anyone ever hurt you"

Ray blinked softly before returning the smile, allowing his koi to pull him in a gentle yet passionate kiss.

He believed in Kai…And that was what matter the most.

……

_**End Flashback**_

'_I would never let anyone ever hurt you'_

He had hit him the same way Voltaire did. And that fact hurt more than anything right then.

_I thought I knew him…_

"Ray?"

"I thought I actually knew him"

"What did you say?"

But the neko did not listen. He could not listen. For at that second, he let out a pained wail before submitting into a blank omission.

"RAY!"

Through the drops that were pelting down in the flowing canal below, the humanity remained unaware of the loud splash of a body hitting the water surface, letting gravity pull the unfortunate soul deep with in. No, they just slept away or remained passive to their activities, not a single care in the world.

At least not for the dead anyway…

……

YES! Today's my last examination and it's in less than one and a half hour! Can you believe that? I can. Since my parents told me that we'll be leaving for some time out from home the moment I return home, I've been heads over heels trying to finish it! And man, it took longer than I ever imagined! Okay folks, three scenes have been cut from this chapter

(Hides from the trash, knives and boos)

It's the truth! But don't worry, they will be included in the next chap. Come on, the previous was like 21 pages long and this is 24!! I rock!!! So yeah, I couldn't possibly make it 'that' long. I don't want you guys brooding and dozing off.

So do R&R and advertise it if you find it worth your time because I really think it is. And please, if someone can help me with the summary, do raise your hand and come forward. Else than that, I'm a happy bunny for this chapter!!

Till next time

Neena


	3. Chapter 3

Hey folks! Okay ever since I finished the second chapter, this next thing won't leave me the hell alone! I tried to suppress my urge and was successful but curse the fickle finger of fate! My Mocks are here! The send-ups you give before O levels Final Exams! And you must know that in papers my writing streak is always at climax!! Good for you huh?

Also here I want to tell you guys something that you should know about me. Okay, I'm trying to make it sound like too important but please, don't asphyxiate yourself by holding your breath. Here it goes; I think Ray, our very own adorable neko-jin, is the most beautiful person in the series of Bey Blade G-Revolution. Now hear me out before you start up with your POVs and arguments. I said beautiful here, not hot or cool or utterly drool worthy or a sex god like some other characters namely Kai and Tala and some other. It is beautiful, not handsome as well. (And yeah, wait for it, this thing does have a point here.)

So, the same thought is in this story too. Deal with it. I love Ray's exotic looks, his hair, his eyes, his pointy ears, his fangs, dress to such a point of adoration that I had a real crush on him while watching the episodes---okay I'll stop now before I say something else related to my highly dysfunctional love life which I really don't happen to have. But let's not dwell on that for now I would rather like your sanity intact.

This chapter had been inspired by the song _**'Back to your Heart' by Backstreet Boys**_. Listen to this song people and die! Literally, I'm serious!! It's like the story has been created because of this heavenly song. Send blessings to my friend Tarnished-Iota for introducing it to me in the first place. Whenever I listened to this song, the only urge I had was to sit my ass down finish this chapter!! The second lyrics are from _**'Sound the Bugle' by Bryan Adams**_. They are so OMG!!

Anyway, man, I'm impressed by the number of reviews and it makes me want to cry. Okay let's not go all sentimental and corny here, shall we? Good.

One more important thing, I wasn't all too sure when I started writing this story so I forgot to mention it earlier. There **will** be _**character deaths**_ in this story and a hell lot of violence. If I'm not lazy as I am usually, I might re-edit the first chapter and the _Warnings_ but seeing that I am usually lazy, don't count on it.

**Important:** Please do read the end A/N. And yes, please do read all my A/Ns. They are sometimes important (Keyword; sometimes).

Don't forget to R&R.

Enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter No. 3**_

* * *

Turning off the engine of the small grey car, violet eyes turned to look at the dark apartments building on their left from behind the midnight blue hair. There was hardly any light escaping the drawn curtains, the inhabitants obviously twisting in their warm beds at this time of the night. Who would bother to leave their peaceful dreams at one in the morning to observe a tall figure stepping into the rain with no umbrella and making their way to the entrance carrying a plastic bag?

Tania let the lobby door automatically close behind her before making straight for the reception desk. Not caring that her coat was dripping the rain water on the clean tiles, she was somewhat surprised to see the old reception lady sitting rather recumbently in her chair reading a sci-fi magazine with thick glasses perched on the tip of her nose.

The old woman looked up when the dark haired person loomed before her, confusion in her eyes turning to relief, "Hello dear, you're here pretty late."

Tania offered a small smile, "You're not in bed either ma'am."

"Yes, well, I was kind of expecting you after what just happened."

The girl frowned as the elder straightened up, "What do you mean? What happened?"

"Aren't you here to see Ray?"

"Yes. He is okay, right?"

Those old eyes looked at her skeptically, "I was going to ask you that actually. But seems to me you are as clueless as me."

Worried now, Tania asked, "Isn't he here?"

"Oh yes he is, darling. Came in with his friend Lee and two cops-"

"Cops…!"

"Uh-yes dear, they carried him to his room. I was very worried I must say. When they came out, I asked them whether there had been some accident but they assured there was nothing to worry about."

"What hap-?"

"Ray fell down from the Western Bridge. You know the small one which goes over that canal near-"

"That's the one near Lepta Chi Square!"

"Exactly"

Tania fumbled with words, trying to string the information together. What was Ray doing so far from Czar Palace? Anxious, she turned again to the woman, "You said Lee was with him?"

"Yes, dear, Ray was unconscious and dripping all over the place. Lee seemed to insist on carrying him but he himself did not look so good. I'm just worried that Ray might catch a cold in this weather." The receptionist adjusted the glasses on her face before peering at Tania, "You weren't aware of this?"

"No…not at all…"

"They say a patrol boat pull them out of the water. Seemingly Lee jumped right after Ray dropped from the bridge. He, too, was drenched from head to feet."

"Why didn't they take Ray to a hospital or something?"

"Well, I think Lee did not want that. The cops told me that he assured them he could take care of everything now. I don't doubt Lee; after all, he did save Ray's life"

Tania nodded, "I'll be going to his room now. You do not need to wait for me"

"Yes, well I better tuck these old bones in some blankets. Night, darling"

Not wasting a second, the dark haired person went to the lift cabin on her left. Pressing the button to seventh floor, Tania tapped her foot impatiently, eyes fixed on the neon numbers above the metallic doors.

She had wanted to leave the restaurant early but things just would not let her. And with Ray's absence, it had been even more difficult to detach her from the closing once the guests had left.

Tania was informed about the whole messy incident after she had seen the broken plate and flabbergasted guests at the buffet table. Telling a waiter to clean the mess up and apologizing to the people, she had stormed the kitchen and demanded what had happened. The story told was baffling it self. One of the cooks told her about the chase between Ray and a redhead foreigner with Lee running after them. After getting only a few other details, the picture became clear.

She knew Ray had seen Tala and had fled from the gathering. But what shook her deeply was when a waiter told her that a bluenette suddenly also left the building, apparently after them. He had told her about distinct triangular marks on the guy's face and Tania realized the mocking complication fate had thrown at them in the night.

It was strange. She had only seen Kai from what Ray had told her briefly and from the photo snap the neko had found two weeks ago. Yet, the moment he was mentioned, she knew it could be no one then him.

She only hoped she was wrong. If not, this time perhaps it would not be so easy to bring Ray's feet under him.

* * *

He sat there quietly. One leg slightly bent on the bed with the other foot on the carpeted floor. His hands were in his lap. They seemed relaxed. In fact his whole body imitated the calm before a storm; the muscles stress-free, face neutral, body silent. But the amber eyes were not. He looked as if in peace yet the inclement torrents of rage were only reflected in those inhuman orbs. They flicked around in their sockets coolly as they observed the angelic features of a young tanned face before them.

The raven head neko-jin laid right before him, tucked in bed, dried and changed into a pair of clean trousers. The golden eyes were closed in unconsciousness and the breathing was slightly heavy but not too much to be concerned about. The blanket was pulled up till the chest, leaving only the bare shoulders uncovered. The raven hair cascaded down the mattress onto the floor with the front locks still a bit damp from the warm shower. The skin was unusually pale and so were the lips with a small light blue mark on one side of the face.

Lee smirked at his childhood friend.

Ray was a beautiful creature. His striking looks could bring half of the population on their knees for one single touch. Leaving puberty behind, he matured into an exotic teenager with looks some might kill to get; the strong physique with a light body mass and curved angles. And with the slight cattish features, all added perfectly to the overall attractive aura. There was no room left for argument to continue. In fact there wasn't much to argue about in the first place. Ray was no doubt a beautiful creature.

And this was what Lee's lust craved for…

He wanted Ray. He wanted him badly.

Ever since being introduced to the younger boy as a child, Lee used to look forward for the right time when he would claim the neko as his. He had befriended the shy kid when he came to their village first time and had become a strong shield for him against almost everything. His protectiveness for Ray was common and known and he remembered when once the raven head had innocently questioned about it before hugging him for being so caring. They used to be inseparable and an item the villagers used to admire for being so young and chivalrous.

Those were the good times…

Nothing changed between them much or at least that was what Ray used to think. For Lee, though, that was another matter. May be it was his nature since he started to walk; he was very possessive about the things he owned. And for him, Ray happened to be an item on sale which he wanted to claim as his own. At the mere age of ten, he had started to lean more and more towards the raven head then one could in a simple friendship. And at twelve, it had developed into something even more.

But Ray had been young and clueless at that time. He could not be called naïve for he was intellectual and inquisitive for his age. In fact he was very cautious about what went around him. At that time, it was Lee who was unsure of the changes in his body and the liking his heart and mind had taken for the golden eyed boy. He settled down with Ray being closer to him than ever.

It ended, though, as Ray turned twelve. That year many things changed. It seemed fate was having a laugh of her own. Things had been so perfect that one could hardly ask for more. Lee had Ray in his home at the village with his grandfather as the chief. His family business was prospering and whenever he had to go on some trip to Hong Kong or other parts of China, Ray always had been the one accompanying him. But happiness could not last forever. It does not take too much of time to crash down in to nothingness from the high cloud of euphoria.

For instance, near the neko's birthday, the news swept through the village like the breath of a deadly omen. Ray's mother's dead body had been found nearby in the suburbs, floating down the stream…

From that point, everything could not have been more cataclysmic. After all the years hard work of keeping his crush safe, past plastered its ugly face in the most gruesome way in the neko's way. To say Ray was broken was an understatement. However he did not resort to cry or pour his heart out. But he went along with something that made Lee hate the turn of events even more.

The raven head locked himself in his room, refusing meal, water or company, and it was past two weeks when he stepped out in the sunlight again. Lee did not get what the distress was all about since when Ray arrived to his village at the age of five, the villagers had been told by his uncle that he was an orphan. The lion knew that his friend's mother left him but maybe seeing the dead corpse after seven years was too much for Ray.

Just when Lee thought things had settled after two months or so, it was decided that the atmosphere and the current dilemma was too much for the little twelve year old neko-jin and thus Ray left the village.

Lee was furious. His fury was directed toward Ray's paternal uncle who had given the advice and to his shock, Ray agreed, though his reason was different. According to the raven head, he wanted to sail out to see the distant lands now that he was a bit grown up. And his wish was fulfilled when his uncle decided upon taking him to a long trip to Europe where the family hotels were. Ray could not have been happier, yet for once, Lee was not.

For the lion, it was an indirect hit to keep his prize away from him and being the possessive person he was, it angered him that Ray was going off without him.

From then on, their relation kept going downhill for when Ray did return, he moved to live in Hong Kong, finishing his studies there. Lee, of course, moved out too, making a valid excuse of handling business. A year went off and he was happy to know that Ray was back under his eye. This yet again changed when the younger received a half scholarship to Tokyo High School.

His mother being half Japanese herself, it was agreed by the elders that it was a wonderful idea that Ray could finish his education there. Lee had different ideas. But this time, the matter settled down easily as he suggested that since Ray was not even fourteen, he should need a careful watch and guard in the alien land and since Lee was two years older, he offered to move along with the golden eyed neko.

_If only I had voted against him going there, things would have been totally different at now. Ray would have probably been mine_.

The ebony head gritted his teeth as amber eyes stared at the teen sleeping silently. Extending a hand, he stroked the bruised cheek with a feather light touch. If Lee had thought that now being away from China, he would have all the time alone with the object of his lust, he had another thing coming.

_Hiwatari…_

The bluenette had come into the scene and exited after stealing his Ray like it was all meant to be. He, Lee, had stood there, baffled, when it all started. He remembered how he had return to Tokyo after a couple of weeks' business trip to find out the gossiping about the new perfect couple. He had refused to believe what had happened. It was agreeable that Ray and that snobbish aristocrat had been school mates together for quite some months but a proper relationship, for Lee, seemed totally out of hand.

Possessive, he was. But envy seemed the stronger sentiment. Not that the lion was not aware of it from before, but to think the stuck up two toned haired teen would cause him such hatred was new to him. Yet, Lee did nothing to prevent the feeling to grow.

Ray had befriended the Soviet almost immediately as he settled in Japan. He had been given a proper one person apartment from the academy while his relatives had been able to aid his every need. Lee had taken his place at a small suite in one of the hotels his family business had some liaisons and links with. The peacefulness of that new beginning for Lee was ruined when the bluenette had entered the picture.

The neko had at many events recognized his, Lee's, lust for him but Ray had always dismissed it either taking it as a tease or subtle refusal. Somehow Lee knew Ray was not fond of his manly cravings or the fact that he was always into one night stand offs. True, it had always been Ray whom the lion wanted to be the first one to bed. But when it came to sexual needs, Lee never denied his body.

Ray sold his virginity off to that bastard Hiwatari and Lee could not have hated him more for that. It angered him that he had not been given the ultimate chance to deflower the raven head himself. How dare the Russian take his right to claim the neko as his? How dare he rest in his bed with his desire, sleeping peacefully with the neko drawn close to him? Lee had craved for Ray's soft touch so how dare Hiwatari strip his chance away from him?

Lee smirked. _But he got what was coming for him though. In a very painful way too…_

It had not been too long, may be somewhat half a year and the couple broke apart. Or rather, they were forced to break away from their sickening romance. Lee had made sure of it.

Ray was making a mistake of his life. He knew it then. Ray should have never left him to go for the rich freak. Lee did not deserve such degradation. They had been friends for so long, Lee had always been there for him, so how could his rightful reward not be given access to him after all that he had done for the younger neko-jin? He was determined to own Ray as his and only his. And there were no obstacles he would have hesitated to encounter then.

"And now, after all, I'll make you mine, Ray" The lion whispered softly, fingers brushing longingly against the cool skin, loving the smooth perfection, "You'll soon see the error in your ways and I'll make sure you compensate for the past suffering you gave me."

Success had been his three years ago when Ray broke up with Kai but it was only partial since the former neko left without a trace. Lee had tried his best to hunt down the younger one's location with his passport and ticket but it had been a waste of time and energy. Ray seemed to have disappeared into abyss. And Lee was not happy with that. Not at all…

But things changed, almost miraculously when Ray made it back to his village. The gods had granted him a second chance and Lee was not going to lose that one. True, it had officially pissed him off when, after regaining some financial stability, Ray had moved out of Lee's apartment in Hong Kong but still, the ebony head did not have much to complain about. Ray had healed from the first heart break or not, Lee did not know but it remained clear, that though the raven head was slightly aware of his lustful antics, he remained close by, needing his companionship in time after being isolated for so long.

"Though tonight," Lee growled again, low and meaningful, "Things have changed again, my dear Ray. But don't worry…don't worry because this time, there is no way I would let anyone deprive me of you."

He bent forward, face inches apart from the sleeping one, his own warm breath reflecting back on his skin as he whispered quietly to the other, "I won't stop till I have tasted and felt every inch of your sinfully delicious body and soul. Tonight there won't be any failure as I'll claim you as rightfully mine because that is what you are…"

Nothing was going to stop him. He had not dwell upon carrying any practical steps in taking the raven head anytime soon but tonight had changed many things. Lee would not let Ray return to Kai. The bluenette's mere presence in the evening had shaken the very foundations of Ray's defense and mentally, he was nothing but fragile now. And Lee was going to make certain it was for his advantage.

He had forced the two lovers apart once and he was not afraid to do it again. But he wouldn't have to do it like the last time. No, this time he had other plans. Once he had Ray, he will make sure that there would remain no thought of or any other crimson eyed bluenette ever in the neko's mind and heart.

Thud, thud…

Lee's eyes narrowed and he rose quietly from the bed at the sound of someone knocking at the front door. Turning to the clock piece, his displeasured frown deepened when he saw the time. Who would come at this hour?

Lee let out a snarl in annoyance as he realized the probable answer. Before he could even reach the hallway, the apartment door slowly opened and a dark haired female stepped into the barely lit corridor. She closed the door behind without making a sound and turned to meet his angry stare though her own calm did not falter.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing but for your inquiry, I'm here to see Ray." Tania replied quietly.

One thing she had learnt over the time knowing the obnoxious teen before her was never to trigger his fury more when he was pissed off. And certainly never to talk back in a raised voice because that always led to a heated verbal fight between them. And at the moment, Tania was in no mood for either of the aforementioned.

Lee snorted in distaste, "Always pretending to be the concerned one. No doubt Ray takes it easy on you." Turning his back to the older girl, he walked back to the small living place, across which stood the bedroom door, "He's sleeping at the moment"

Hanging her coat on the side hanger, Tania crossed the threshold and peeked in the room before turning to the ebony head, "Lee, what happened?"

The said Chinese scrutinized her in distrust before snapping, "Hiwatari is what happened. Or are you telling me you have no idea?"

"Stop being a pain Lee. What were Kai and Tala doing there?"

"Shouldn't you be the one knowing that? You were after all the Staff Coordinator. Wasn't that bastard's name on the guest list?" Lee sneered.

"The restaurant was opened for other people too and no, you very well know I did not have any such list-"

"Well since you do know what happened, why are you asking me?"

"Ray fell down the bridge!" Tania hissed at his infuriating attitude, "And I want to know why and how?"

"Why? That's because of Hiwatari. How? Well, he fainted." He retorted back. "And now that you know the fun facts, you can show yourself out"

Violet eyes narrowed at the open yet very normal disrespect and Tania took a long breath to calm her anger down. She hated dealing with the guy. "I was hoping to talk to Ray and also, I came to give this to him. He left this at Czar" She raised the plastic bag in which the neko's coat and wallet were neatly placed.

"Where the hell did you get his locker keys?"

"Ray trusted them to me for safe keeping." She replied coolly. Before Lee could utter a word, she dropped the bag on the couch and proceeded to enter the bedroom, uninvited. Already furious at the interruption from his musings about his crush, Lee further bristled as the twenty year old went to check upon her younger friend.

That would not do. Like Hiwatari, he was not at all fond of the girl because no matter what Ray defended her with, in Lee's eyes, she could be nothing more than another person taking his Ray's heart away. She was very close to him and every now and then Lee envied her for that. She had that serene aura about her which he knew drew his friend even closer to her and the trust she had gain from Ray, Lee admit, he had not even been granted that.

Arms hanging loose at the side, Tania stood few feet away from the sleeping Chinese, silently noting the barely prominent twitch of the closed eyelids. Taking a step closer, she placed her hand on the teen's forehead before gently grabbing his wrist and hand. She could feel the intensity of the glare presented to her from the doorway but at the moment she could not care less. Ray had a fever.

"He's sick."

"I know that." Lee answered through clenched teeth.

"Did you give him any medicine?"

"Stop bossing me around Anderson, I know what I have to do!"

"What the hell is with you Chan? Why can't you, for once, act caring enough and stop biting other peoples head off?"

Amber eyes further narrowed. He did not like the girl's tone, "You and I both know that tonight has been a very rough one so be a bit more understandable and get your face out of here!"

Refraining from cussing out a few well chosen curses, she turned away sharply from the seething yellow but stopped in mid track as her own sight caught a sealed medicine bottle and a clear glass of water sitting innocently on the side table. Not contemplating what her conscience had conjured up, her mouth fell open as she read the prescription written on the glass container.

"Where…did you get this from Lee?"

The said person who had his gaze trained on the raven head's face, turned acutely at the disbelieving tone and mentally cursed at the predicament. _Oh shit…_

Tania gaped at him in surprise, the bottle still in the palm of her hand, "Barbiturate and morphine…Lee, these are 500mg sleeping drugs! Do you even know how strong they can be?! Why does Ray have them here at his place?"

Lee turned away with a slight look of indignation, "They are good for calming nerves, okay?"

"They wreck your whole system!!"

"What the hell do you know?!"

"Oh believe me, I know!" Tania gritted her teeth, not caring for being so vocal. "Were you planning on giving these to Ray?!"

"These are my medications and I know how to use them!"

"Are you insane?! Don't you know how badly Ray's immune system reacts to drugs? How could you even think of-?" Reality dawned upon her and Tania faltered in her shouts, "Y-you weren't going to drug Ray, were you Lee?"

Lee forced down the growl and gave her an intimidating look. Running a hand down his face, he retorted back, "Firstly, these are not drugs that you think they are and secondly, it would depend on the state of his mind whether I would or not give him something to at least force him to sleep calmly for the rest of the night"

Judging the random yet civilized explanation, another string of doubt latched around Tania's heart. Lee hardly ever gave her a straight answer. "I…I don't really think he would be needing medicine…especially not morphine…or any barbiturate…"

"I told you before and I'm not going to say it again, stop telling me what to do and what not to!"

Tania narrowed her orbs before letting out a small sigh. She respected Lee somewhat since Ray had asked her to as he had known him his whole life but she did not trust him one bit and had a hell lot of reservations about the way Lee always had his eyes on Ray. But now, hesitating for a second, she replaced the bottle back on the side table yet she could not help sensing the sudden pang of uncertainty in her chest.

Arms folded angrily, Lee watched as the girl slowly bent towards the raven head and caressed his cheek gently before whispering something along the lines of 'Get Well'. Patting the hair on the top, she straightened up before walking out of the bedroom and closing the door behind. Turning to give him a stern look, she said,

"I will come back in the morning to check on him."

Lee sneered, "Don't bother-"

"I'm not asking you Lee."

"And I'm not being modest. Do not come, got it? You think you're the only one, who knows what's good for him, don't you? Don't kid yourself around Anderson. You're just someone he picked up when he was lonely and wanted to have a chat with. You can never have anything like we have."

"I'm not even trying to" Tania hissed back.

"Good! I don't want to see your face anymore. I have enough for a night. So get out already!"

Fuming internally, Tania turned on her heels and went for the door. This wasn't the first time she and Lee had taken out all the heat on a fight. And the last time they had an argument; Ray and Lee had not been on speaking terms for a week. And it had hurt the raven haired neko a lot. So at the moment, she did not wish to be much a burden on, surprisingly, any of the two.

However while exiting the apartment, she looked over her shoulder, eyes meaningful, "Don't you dare do anything stupid," And closed the door with a small click.

The urge of breaking something at the peak, Lee snarled in his throat before forcefully punching the wall, not registering the small crash of glass and wood as a picture frame on his right fell to the floor. His labored breathing filled the hush of the apartment and he turned with a beastly growl and went to drink a glass of water before returning to the bedroom.

In spite of everything, his fury dissipated immediately as he entered the chamber. A smirk lit up his face when a small moan came from the younger teen and he quietly locked the door, hiding the key in his pocket. There were not going to be any more interruptions. Ray was going to be his…

Ray groaned slightly before biting his lips. His limbs and body felt like lead. Forcing the sleep away, he opened his eyes, blinking at the darkness before closing the heavy lids again. Without even turning around, he knew where he was yet he could not figure out the strange cold surrounding him. Loud uncouth voices had roused him from his restlessness but now the silence pressing against his senses seemed unbearable as well.

Lee's smirk widened as Ray let out a silent shuddering pant and somewhat twisted in his bed. Stretching his hand, Lee brushed the tips of his finger on the bruised skin of the other's face, reveling into the small moan escaping from those pliant lips. Slits of gold appeared before fluttering shut again. Bending forward, Lee whispered, "Ray…"

The said person let out the first word that came to his tongue, "…Kai…"

The lion pulled back immediately and turned to glare into nothingness. _Fuck you, Hiwatari!_

Ray finally regained his consciousness, scrutinizing his surroundings gradually. Making out a silhouette on his bed, he spoke softly as he recognized the figure, "Lee…?"

The ebony head met the confused golden orbs, his own eyes softening just a bit before placing a hand on Ray's face, "You're awake. Thank gods."

The raven head grimaced at the strange sick feeling in his stomach, "I…I don't feel so good"

"You have a fever, Ray" Lee said, lightly caressing the skin he had been craving to touch ever since he had met the teen so many years ago.

"…Fe-fever? Why? What happened?"

Raising a brow, the other spoke, "You don't remember?"

Ray tried sitting up but the hand which had been on his face went to his chest, preventing him to get up just then.

"You don't remember falling off the bridge?"

Golden eyes blinked in confusion before the words repeated in his mind and the earlier event replayed before his sanity. The Ball…the dances…a redhead…his lover…the diamond ring…the chase… He remembered it. He remembered it all. The confrontation on the bridge…his allegations…Lee intervening……and……Kai's slap…then……he fainted…

_Kai…_

Lee watched as the light went out of those pools of pure gold, obviously because of what had happened. He frowned when Ray turned away, no doubt to hide the inevitable tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. But Lee had seen them. Making an annoyed sound, he tried to turn the younger back to face him, "Don't!"

Ray jumped slightly and looked up at his friend; mentally shivering at the glare he was given.

"Don't you dare cry because of that bastard, got it Ray? I don't even want him in your mind at the moment. He is a fucking bastard. Don't pretend you didn't see it coming!"

Ray swallowed back his tears, not able to move, mainly because of the fearsome hatred in the other's eyes and mainly because he felt too tired. Trying to gain some control over his emotions, he took a deep breath to relax his constricted throat and turned away again to the window on the left of his bed.

_I-I wish Tania was also here…_

"What! I'm not good enough for you anymore, is it?!"

The neko gasped slightly at the harsh tone. Did he just think out loud?

Lee granted him a disgusted look before deciding to move off the bed.

Ray, despite the throbbing in his temples, lunged forward, grabbing his friend by his arm, "Lee I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that!"

The lion mentally smirked. Emotional blackmailing always worked with the raven head. He was just too nice sometimes.

When he didn't get a response, Ray sat up completely though his stiff back protested against the movement. He partially realized his chest was bare and felt the coolness of the room tingle his skin. "I didn't mean to offend. I just…I don't think I'm thinking straight…it just came out…"

The lion turned to him and spoke in a whisper, "Apology accepted. Just lie down, Ray"

Amber eyes watched with interest as the neko did what he was told, all the while trying to relax his body and placing a hand on the eyes in a tired gesture. Resuming his spot on the bed, Lee reached for the bottle on the table, breaking the seal off easily and pulling two cylindrical white tablets out in the palm of his hand, "Here, take these"

Ray looked through his fingers at the medicine held out to him and shook his head in no once, "Thanks"

"Ray, take them, now."

The neko gave him a tired look before putting an effort to sit while leaning on his elbows. Without even asking what he was given and without even complaining about the eventual side effects he might feel afterwards, he accepted the tablets, dropping them in his mouth before taking a gulp of water in his dry throat. Handing the glass back, Ray's vision became distorted again and he fell back to the pillows, heaving slightly. He could feel the fever now and was about to ask for a shirt when another ache went through the back of his head.

Lee smiled to himself when Ray closed his eyes again, swallowing now and then to soften the continuous dryness in his throat. Just watching the neko lying, vulnerable, before him induced his temptation more and he edged closer to him. He almost cooed in enticement when Ray let out a small pant, rubbing his temples,

"Do these cure head aches too?"

Smirking, the elder teen finally leaned forward, "Perhaps not"

Removing his hand from his face at the sly tone, Ray jumped out of his skin when he found Lee's face inches away from his, "Lee, what-?"

His breath was cut short when two lips clasped down upon his forcefully, silencing any other word he might have wanted to speak. Before he could react in any way, hands grabbed his wrists and brought them at the sides of his head. Ray's body lurch forward at the shocking gesture but he was forced down when the ebony head climbed on the bed, straddling his hips in the process.

Lee could feel the initial shock giving way to even more surprise when he plunged his tongue deeply into the sweet cavern of the younger one's mouth, licking the lips and the teeth. He opened his eyes just in time to see the wide golden ones closing shut as Ray futilely tried to push him off despite his legs and arms being useless at the moment.

That was quite unnecessary. Ray might be strong otherwise but with his lithe body, a killing headache, fever and no energy, Lee was at advantage here when it came to power. Not to mention, there were drugs flowing through the very veins of the neko with the sudden adrenaline rush. They both might be fighters but the lion with his extra muscles, height and stocky structure could easily hold the flailing limbs of his comrade.

Ray could not believe this. He could not believe this was actually happening. He breathed painfully as Lee pulled away only to nuzzle his face with his own. He could hardly struggle with his hands pinned down and the heavy body keeping him still. He clenched his orbs shut once more when his lips were assaulted again. By the time Lee was finished, he had sheen of tears covering his eyes as he looked up in utmost disbelief at the person he had claimed his friend for so long.

"…L-Lee…?"

"Hush. You don't have to worry Ray. You'll be okay." Letting go of the wrists, Lee noticed as they weakly twitch, trying to move yet failing miserably. The drugs must be taking effect now.

The teen tried to move, to retaliate in any form but simply could not. Ray's body refused to cooperate. He felt his senses flowing out of his control until he could hardly focus let alone raise his arms or legs. "Lee…what did you do…?"

The said person smirked. Placing hands on either side of the Ray's stomach and bending forward, Lee bit the ear lobe before whispering against the sensitive skin of the neck, "I did what I should have done three years ago, my dear Ray. And I'm going to complete it now."

With that he latched down, his fangs marring the once smooth skin and tearing the flesh from there. Lee licked the incoming blood released from the bite as Ray cried out loud, his hands kneading all the skin hungrily. He could feel the muscles beneath him becoming taut with tension as he sucked the new wound hardly. Two hands pushed limply at his broad shoulders but it was barely registered, his mind more occupied with the gasps and whimpers emitting from the young neko-jin.

"Lee…s-stop…!" Ray arched his back when calloused fingers traced his nipples in hurried circles before proceeding to caress his navel. He didn't understand. Why couldn't he force the other off? Ray knew he was capable of fighting then why couldn't he even move? Panic registered in his mind when the intruding fingers curled around the elastic ring of his trousers, "STOP!"

The ebony head raised his eyes to the horrified golden pair, "Why?" Lee purred, "Don't you want this, Ray?"

"N-no…no, Lee you know I don't. Stop it before-" Ray hissed as his hips were grasped in a bruising grip under his only clothing. The cold hands tightened there painfully before moving to caress the globes of flesh. A shocked cry left his lips when fingers dug into the cleft in between, a nail scraping against the tight hole where no one had touched him in years, "L-LET GO!"

Queer excitement ran southwards in Lee when Ray tugged nimbly at his hand before opening his eyes to look at him with a mixture of fear, humiliation and somewhat anger. They closed up again, a single tear escaping the boundaries as Lee squeezed his ass once more before moving his hands to settle on the creamy thighs. The lion smirked when the raven head let out a final snivel and the struggles died altogether. Knowing that Ray had been induced into complete submission due to the drugs, he extracted his hands from beneath the trousers to force the long legs apart.

Ray panted slightly. He felt lightheaded as if he was floating in mid air, his body system shut down. But the hard touches were still being registered even in such a state. He tried to scream when his legs were separated yet all he could do was to shake his head in extreme disbelief. Was this really happening to him? Was Lee actually going to…force himself on him?! He opened his golden eyes pleadingly at the elder who now sat between his spread limbs, hands both on his torso, never ceasing their stroking, the sharp nails scraping the tanned skin now and then.

_No, please. Make him stop, someone_… "…please…don't…"

Lee bent over the shaking teen who was trying desperately to gain some willpower to throw him off. He leaned on the smooth chest, loving the soft feeling before tracing his lips along the jaw line in fluttery butterfly kisses. Ray threw his head back in a painful cry, his body trembling into pieces as Lee kissed the love bite he had given before below the ear,

"Why, Ray? Look at you; you're so hot right now, so sweet and vulnerable, shaking like a leaf. You can't begin to imagine how teasing you look with clothes partially on, your hair sprayed on the pillow like that, lips pink and swollen. How can you expect someone not to take you right this second?"

Ray's eyes widened at the shameless tone of voice describing his helplessness. Lee's eyes made contact with his own ones and fear swathed his heart at the lust and dominance swimming in them. Lee was right above him, like a predator, waiting to finish what was remained undone. How had he never noticed this before?

"You have always been a cock tease Ray and still are. I want to fuck you now; long and hard." Lee was enjoying the waves of fright and dread emitting from the younger under him. Ray was scared of what was happening to him. He knew he was going to be taken yet there still remained the part where he was refusing to believe this predicament was taking place. Well then, Lee just had to erase that doubt, "You look as if you did not expect this, sweetheart"

The neko gaped at him, eyes horrified and lips parted in terror. Lee was sitting there between his legs, touching him all the while, staining him with his fingers. Horror-struck and cold to the bone, Ray wasn't even fighting back, "Lee…"

"It hurts, Ray" Lee pouted at him slightly, "It hurts to love you so much. I wanted you for so long yet you never even gave me a second thought. Why? You went for that Soviet instead. Don't you know how much that hurt me, Ray?"

The said teen swallowed, tears gushing out of the corners of his eyes now, his body immobile as he stared into those insane yellow orbs.

Lee's pretending sulk changed into a smirk as he bent down till his nose touched the other, making sure their sight met before he whispered again. He was rock hard by just watching the fearful orbs of the beautiful teen he knew he was going to have, "It's all going to change. I've been with you for so long. I'd never thought I would have to use power but I think I mistook my own goodness. Now, however, I won't let you escape again. No, Ray, I won't let that foreigner take you away from me, ever. No one will!"

Beads of perspiration cascaded down his forehead and temples, hardly because of the fever now. The words shook Ray and he remained frozen to the spot when the ebony head drew back to settle between his legs again. He could only protest weakly, sobbing lightly, when his trousers were yanked off in a swift motion. Ray lay completely exposed, naked, for the other like inviting Lee to welcome him to his body. The irony was that he never wanted the invitation to be sent in the first place.

Lee ran his eyes slowly over the shivering body, drinking in the smoothness of every feature, before locking his lusty hues with the frightened pair which seemed to be screaming on their own. Not even blinking once, he sat back on the bed before taking Ray's left leg and hooking it around his waist, enjoying the panicked look he received. Lee tore off his shirt and had to slide forward when the raven head started thrashing and shouting again.

"NO! Help!! Please, someone-UMPH!"

Raven bangs swung from side to side as Ray tried to dislodge the hand on his mouth, his view blurred because of the never stopping tears leaking down from his eyes. His nails scratched at the limb preventing him to speak, trying uselessly, with no real energy, to break free. This wasn't happening. He wouldn't, he couldn't let someone do this to him. He couldn't just submit like that.

Ray's golden eyes screwed shut and he screamed into the hand, the sound muffled, as a finger entered through him. The intrusion was unexpected and he threw his head back, panting miserably as the digit curled inside before a second one was added.

Lee watched the changes on Ray's face from terror and panic to torture and pain as he revolve his fingers around the dry ring of muscles, his other hand opening the fly of his pant and sliding them down. Preparing the neko only partially, he slid back before grabbing Ray's chin and claiming his lips with his own.

Ray cried in the forceful kiss. He was dizzy and his body was numb badly with aches yet he could feel the other's arousal pressing against his groin. He opened his eyes in hopes of catching his former friend's, now his tormentor, attention. He didn't want this. Lee couldn't just do this to him. This was wrong and must be stopped. But before a single word could be uttered in negotiation, his voice was lost as a shriek of pain tore from his dry throat when Lee intruded him without a warning.

The neko-jin had experienced pains in all kinds before. He was very well aware of the sting and the eventual soothing numbness. He knew punishments at their worst and had felt them as well. But never anything had torn his mind away like this before.

The intrusion was hard. It hurt! It felt as if his insides were ripped apart without a second's consideration. But that seemed just the beginning of the anguish hysteria, for Ray felt his soul scream into oblivion when Lee moved against the tattered abused tissues, barely slowing down for a moment before continuing his thrusts with even more force and without granting any reprieve to the writhing person beneath him.

Ray gathered the sheets in his hands, fisting them tightly as his body rocked from the assaults laid upon it. The tears accompanied the cries leaving his lips, his back arching in pain when his hips were grasped inhumanely, dragging his self closer to the elder. His knuckles were white yet he tauten his grip on the white fabric when teeth brushed against the pulsing artery on his collar bone.

Lee, never faltering in his thrusts, nibbled the flesh lightly and lapped it with his tongue, collecting blood there before biting on it, once more leaving a mark on Ray to remember. Finishing his master work he pulled back, groaning loudly in appreciation when Ray keened loudly as he hit his prostate. Lee knew he could not hold much more; Ray was just too god damn tight.

With a final deep plunge, Lee reached the culmination point and orgasm into the lithe body, his mind taking flight at the loud scream and basking into the ultimate naked helplessness at Ray's vulnerability. For moments Lee sat on his knees, closed amber eyes facing the ceiling, his mouth opened as he heavily panted in the quick wake of the climax before finally looking down.

Ray was a mess. He bit his teeth together at the aches running through his veins, trembles flowing in his parted legs. His fingers had long lost any feeling as his fisted hands cut out all the circulation, not willing to loosen up even then. Raven hair were spread in every direction, his chest quivering upwards and back as shuddering breaths left his lungs.

Smirking at the accomplishment, Lee pulled out slowly before shifting next to the almost unconscious teen and lying down beside him. His sadistic smile widened when Ray whimpered at his fingers' mere brushing against the sore neck. Bringing his lips on the tanned cheek, he gently gave it a sickening kiss before wrapping his arms around the trembling waist,

"You're mine," Lee whispered, bringing his sobbing comrade closer, "…only and only mine."

Quivering eyelids gradually parted to reveal teary golden hues as they stared out at the thunder and lightening. Ray closed them tiredly again when the lips previously on his face moved to his neck, putting on the final and third mark there. The last wasted tear cascaded down, stopping only partially at the edge of the cheek before falling onto the soft pillow under, vanishing into nothingness even before making contact with the textile material.

Just like his whisper; ringing out yet melting away into the oblivious void before anyone could notice,

"…_No_…"

* * *

The rain had stopped but only momentarily that was for sure. The continuous dull yet quick flashes of light illuminating the thick grey clouds told a tell-tale of the incoming storm. The wind was calm but chilly nonetheless, as if in a resting phase before reaching its full might for the next imminent hours. Yet the weather somehow did not trouble the lone figure standing tall on the small balcony, the edge of the long white scarf fluttering slightly now and then.

Kai had his arms folded and eyes closed as he stood near the railing, looking as if reveling on the cool breeze brushing against his pale skin. He gradually opened his lids to view the sight below him; an extensive garden, a small yet beautifully sculptured fountain with those lush rose bushes around it. A lovely sight to calm a soul down yet its emptiness drew away the relaxing aura, stinging the atmosphere like that of a graveyard; a cemetery.

Similar to him…mind serene yet the heart ached in deep agony…

He looked away to train his eyes on the wooden railing yet in reality, the clouded orbs were already lost in the distant vivid memories of the past. What had happen? Was it a dream…? Some fatuous fantasy a mourning heart had yearned for, in hopes of allaying the anguish it had been experiencing for so long…??

Oh, how he wished that would have been the case…

A sharp pain in the back was a quick manner to return him back to the present and he bit his tongue to control the gasp releasing from his lips. The bluenette blinked away the sudden unexpected moist clouding his eyes and unfolded his arms to clutch the railing with both hands. The sting dissipated almost immediately but left a severe throbbing nevertheless.

_Bastard…_

If it had been assumed that his rather feverish exit at dinner from the ball room had gone unnoticed by a certain family senior of his, it was a fool's dream. Kai had not return to the dance party to the company of guests awaiting his come back. Instead he had simply taken retreat to his temporary room in the villa, lost from the evening encounter and left alone to curse the fucked up fate for once again showing how hell felt even when alive.

He felt a feather light touch caressing his dry lips yet Kai knew he was imagining it for his fingers were still grasping the barrier limiting his fall from the balcony anytime soon.

Voltaire was livid. Kai had detained from any disobedience which might incur the elder's displeasure for a long time. He had learnt it the hard way that resistance was suicidal and masochistic so why bother. Yet tonight, his long forgotten will power and defiance had returned at the sight of those golden eyes. And he had to pay the price.

He had come home and retired to his sleeping quarters despite Tala's otherwise offers. He had changed into his usual attire in the same hazy state of confusion and had proceeded to just lie on the bed in a kind of stupor, his mind refusing to accept that he had finally seen his lover after three painfully long years. Of course, curse the fickle finger of fate, peace, even if it was tortuous in its own way, seemed something he was not to be granted even when alone in his room.

His grandfather returned and demanded to see him immediately. No doubt the silent disregard or refusal to do so tick Voltaire off and he invited himself to add salt on Kai's open wounds. He had shouted, cursed and threatened to break his legs but had been unable to gain any reaction from the unresponsive teen and thus had gone for extreme physical measures without a second's hesitation.

Kai had been thrown off his bed before been grabbed by his hair and screamed in the face for almost ruining the engagement ceremony but when he failed to counter in any way, Voltaire took another approach after seeing the hollowness in the his orbs. Hitting the nail directly on the head, he mocked Kai about the only thing that was tearing his mind apart at that moment; Ray's eventual denial.

Voltaire knew his grandson and he knew him well. After seeing his desperation for the neko-jin, the monster had known the second he had seen Kai that their reunion had not gone for the best. And he had, like every time in the past, taken advantage of the situation. He molested him in hopes of mocking some reaction out of the bluenette and had succeeded when Kai had shown resistance to his touch and kisses after so long.

But it only excited him. The sadistic bastard was enticed to the insubordination and defiance in the bluenette when Kai was at his moment of weakness and Voltaire exploited it till he had a reason a punish him. Afterwards, Kai had been at the mercy of the senior who had heard of the word but never bothered to contemplate the meaning.

Voltaire had left him after a thorough whipping with his belt and a promise that Kai will carry out his wishes no matter what and that the marriage arrangements will follow as soon as possible. Kai did not doubt that but for the moment, he could not care less. Now as he stood on the balcony, back burning occasionally from the lashes, he could not help but agree…

History had indeed repeated it self.

It was unfair. It was very unfair. Why? Why did Ray have to be there to witness his engagement? Why was it that after craving so long for the golden eyed beauty, they had to meet only tonight? Why couldn't be it any time else when he could have somehow explained what happened all this time? Why wasn't he given a chance to explain, to apologize, to ask, and even beg willingly, for another chance? Why would this happen to only them…only him?

"…Why?"

'_He's getting married!'_

Kai closed his eyes as the accusation his lover had desperately voiced rang through his ears. The grip of his hands tightened and he cringed internally.

'_You're being engaged…'_ Ray had whispered with complete uncertainty, _'……And you go away……and get married after all?'_

'_How could you? H-how could that mean nothing to you?'_

'_I thought…I can't believe…not you…no…it wasn't…Kai?'_

His heart sank and he let out a sharp yet shuddering breath. Was this for real? Was he really…getting…married? After all this time for the past eighteen years he had not mellowed to any of what his grandfather threw at him and now finally…he was being…engaged? How? He had always fought against any such notion then how could he let tonight's ceremony to happen? Had he really allowed Voltaire to finally take over?

Kai was partially confused. He, who had shown every kind of defiance to the older man despite knowing the failing consequences, had finally taken a back seat let his grandfather take the upper hand of his life. How Kai could have agreed on this commitment? Why hadn't he spoken out against this as he used to for all those years? Had he actually shown the white flag; admitted his defeat? Or rather, did he just…?

_Did I finally give up on Ray…?_

The bluenette could hardly accept that yet it was the truth, as bitter it was. He had indeed given up on Ray. His findings had come up with nothing. He had hung onto the last inevitable thread to keep it all together but it had finally snapped. He had forgotten all about it, right? How else could tonight's events be explained?

As shameful it sounded, Kai had indeed just stepped back. He was tired and wanted reprieve. And in a mastermind stroke, Voltaire had granted him salvation when the wounds were fresh and the cuts were still bleeding. He had tired him out in all those years and finally pardoned him enough to leave an impression of comfort. Kai had been offered sanctuary when he was down and in that state of mind; he had accepted the support readily.

The back of Kai's eyes burnt and he closed them tight, swallowing down the emotions running free in his veins. When crimson eyes opened again, they seemed even emptier than before as if carrying hollow oppression, a dead weight.

'_I never knew you either Kai.'_

He had hit him. He had hit the person he had sworn to protect; sworn that he would do all he could to keep him from hurt. From the day he had laid eyes on the neko for the first time, a need to keep all evil and pain from Ray had made home in Kai's heart. And since then his protectiveness had been challenged countless times.

_But I guess I have failed each time…_

Kai slowly trained his eyes to the cloudy sky above before releasing a sigh. He closed his eyes, wishing for the rain to fall, perhaps it might cleanse him…

_I have been breaking a lot of promises lately Ray…a lot._

* * *

_**Flashback**_

The only source of light in the living room was conceivably from the tall lamp in one corner while the only sound was that of the nib of a fountain pen scribbling now and then on the smooth face of the paper. That was inside. Outside it was a different story with the lightening providing flashes of blinding light and the pitter patter of rain noise against the ear drums.

This was yet to be the weirdest monsoon seasons Kai had experienced in his life. And he had experienced quite much.

He adjusted the simple wire-framed glasses on his nose before briefly turning to the window. He didn't need any spectacles and wouldn't need them anytime soon but his doctor had advised them for a few months to deal with the migraines he was having from all the reading work. Besides, according to two reliable sources, his dear friend and young lover, they added, in words of the Chinese; the three 'S' in defining his character; smart, somber and sexy. So he wasn't complaining. Much, that is.

Speaking of his young lover, where was the boy? The last Kai had seen of the raven haired teen was in the school and that was five hours ago.

Yes, he was worried. In fact he was very much worried. It had been rather surprising to find Ray's apartment empty, especially since at recess the neko had told him to come home earlier. He had tirelessly called and had been on the brink of grabbing his raincoat and search for Ray himself when the Chinese sent him a text message that something came up and he would be coming back home late.

Kai had tried, a lot, afterwards to get hold of his boyfriend but the guy refused to answer any of his calls. So yes, it had worried him and still he was. Hell, his conscience would not probably rest till the neko would be tucked peacefully in his bed.

Kai shook his head. Ray would be fine. Though he knew the younger will never be out in such weather willingly, he managed to keep him self at bay and not to rush out to get Ray back by taking out some old files and records his lawyer had given him to go through. Right now though, he would much rather take up the searching part.

Turning to the wall, he was able to make out the time before sighing and getting on his feet. Going to the kitchen, he poured some coffee he had made some time ago in the mug and returned to the couch in Ray's apartment. Staring at the dull and mind numbing documents, he took a sip, mentally consoling himself that this reading was part of his training for handling any future family business.

Setting his almost empty mug down, he once more grabbed the portfolio and began where he left off but not before taking another peek at the clock. It was getting late.

_You better have a good excuse for scaring the shit out of me for the whole evening, Ray._

Minutes passed and Kai heard the small yet distinctive click of the front door. Raising his head he internally sighed when the familiar soft steps reached his senses. Though ready to leap off the couch and demand what the hell was going on, Kai restrained himself enough and took his glasses off.

"Where did you run off to like that?" He asked with concern. His back was at Ray as he massaged the bridge of his nose so was not able to notice the momentary stiffness in the younger. Upon getting no reply, he frowned and turned, "Ray?"

Crimson pools widened an inch when he saw the neko-jin's questionable condition. Gradually placing the papers aside and standing up, he stared at the raven haired teen that was looking away at the side wall.

"Ray what's wrong?" Now he was concerned and worried as hell. Ray was entirely soaked, hair plastered on the unusually pale face and he had his eyes trained down in a defeated expression. Taking a few steps closer to him, Kai stared in somewhat alarm, "Ray, what happened? Are you alright?"

There still was no response. Ray just stood there, his right hand clutching his left elbow, head turned away and eyes guarded.

That was when Kai noticed, "Were you crying?

Ray shook his head fervently despite his cheeks slightly pink and still did not raise his head.

"Don't lie to me."

The teen made a petite funny noise before looking up only a bit and offering him a small smile, "I'm fine"

Kai was now baffled at his boyfriend's manner. Not only he seemed deeply troubled, Ray was lying right through his teeth. There was no way Kai would believe that the Chinese was fine in any way. "Ray, what's up? Tell me"

The younger again shook his head and hiccupped, "It-it's stupid…really don't worry Kai" He looked up to pass another fake smile, one fist rubbing the tears away from his eye, "I…didn't mean to upset you or anything."

"Ray, for god's sake, you're crying! I am upset!"

The said person let out a shuddering breath, his arms falling at his sides and head down. As if contemplating upon some unknown reason and reaching the conclusion, Ray again shook his head before taking in a long breath, "I'm fine. Look something just…you know…came up…and…I guess I got a bit emotional…yeah…"

Kai looked at him, stunned, before narrowing his eyes, "You're lying. Again"

Ray seemed to hold back a sob and looked away, "I-I-I want to go to my room. I-"

Kai grabbed his arm and felt him tensing up almost immediately. This was strange. Ray never acted like this. "You're not going anywhere until you tell me why are you crying?"

The neko swallowed and tried to free his arm. "I-I'm not crying, Kai"

Kai let him go but closed his distance to the shivering teen. He would have snorted at the reply but the anxious apprehension was eating his insides, "Talk to me, Ray-Ray?" he took a step back when the raven head passed beside him like lightening, making a dash for the room.

In a reflex motion, he grabbed the other's wrist and kept it there, stopping the neko from his feverish retreat.

"Kai, please, I don't want to talk about it…"

"So there is something bothering you then"

"I…"

"Ray…"

"…"

"Just tell me already"

"…Mariah"

Kai froze at the mention of the neko's dead friend and loosened his grip on his wrist. Ray still had his eyes hidden and was facing the opposite wall rather than Kai so it was almost impossible to tell whether he was being honest.

Completely releasing him, Kai once more stepped closer, not knowing whether to comfort his lover or doubt him. "Are you sure that's all?"

Ray faltered in his answer and Kai noticed it well. Yet he still nodded in affirmative.

At this, somehow Kai felt at discomfort. Why wasn't the neko just telling him? They hardly had anything hidden from each other so why wasn't he trusted with the truth? "Ray…" he broke off, trying to stop but couldn't, "…Why are you lying to me?" Now Kai was baffled when Ray's breath hitched up and he actually let out a few sobs, "Ray! What is it!?"

"Just leave me alone for now, Kai, please." Golden eyes finally turned to him in plea and Kai could easily tell that something massive must have happened for them to portray such distress.

Kai gave him another anxiety filled look before taking a small step back though quietly telling the neko that he was very worried. Ray lower lip trembled a few times, as if trying to say something but he turned and closed the door with a small snap.

Crimson eyes stared at the space where the raven haired beauty had stood a second ago before glancing over at the window when another thunder bolt lightened the sky. It was dark, almost ten. At a small clicking sound, he turned to the door, the only barrier between him and his crying lover on the other side. Swallowing down the trepidation, he silently placed his hand on the knob, hoping his mind had just conjured up the sound.

But no, that was not so. He rotated the knob without making any sound at all. And it was locked.

Kai closed his eyes as his heart sank somewhat at that even though the occurrence to some people would seem insignificant. But that was not for him. Placing his forehead on the wooden surface, he breathed barely loudly,

"Talk to me, Ray. I want to know what's wrong"

There was no reply given but from the heavy breathing, Kai could tell Ray had slid down against the door. His heart jolted again when a sob was heard and he hands clenched tightly into fists. Ray was crying in there and there was nothing he could do.

"At least give me some assurance that you'll tell me when you feel like it"

There was a long silence but the bluenette was able to make out a drained whisper, "…okay"

Kai smiled worriedly though knowing that the other could not possibly see him. Pulling his forehead away, he eased his palm against the door and spoke, "Good then, go wash up and change. You could catch a fever again." With that, he stood there for a moment before breaking contact with the wood and retrieving his footsteps back to the couch.

Once flopping down, he placed a hand on his eyes and sighed. Giving the bedroom one last look, he grabbed his files and set out to resume his paper work. In the back of his mind, this little episode could not help repeat it self.

He had seen the neko at recess and with the exception of slight exasperation; he had been alright unless it was all pretend. But Kai knew him well and would have known the second something was wrong. After then, they had no classes together and funny enough, he did not meet the raven head again. He had tried somewhat to locate him in the labs and the library after gym but returned to Ray's apartment at quarter to five.

What had happen in between to upset the Chinese was beyond Kai but he would not rest till he found out and deal with it.

'…_Mariah' _

Kai paused at that. He wouldn't blame Ray if the memory of his late friend had triggered some tears and memories in him but it was apparent that was not the case.

He let out another sigh. As much as Kai knew, Mariah and Ray had been friends since five back in China and had grown up together till Ray left the village. He knew that the neko considered the pink haired girl as a sister he never had so it was obvious that her murder had a violent affect on him.

It had been two months ago when late at night Ray's cell had rung. Kai answered it; mind set up to tell the caller off but had stopped when a weeping woman had asked for the tiger. Despite the sudden dismay, he had woken up the younger and told him he had someone on the line from his homeland. Ray's sleepy state was replaced by utter confusion and dread as he answered.

Kai remembered clearly the sudden paling of skin and lips as his lover froze, his eyes wide and lips parted in a silent gasp. That moment had, truthfully, terrified Kai. Ray's lips had trembled, failing to conjure words while tears had filled those golden orbs as he clutched the small device with shaking hands. After the small call ended, Ray had fallen back on Kai, who had immediately embraced him, silently consoling him. The neko had trembled and allowed some tears to fall before he managed to whisper through the tears,

'_Mariah has been murdered.'_

A sudden thunder brought Kai out of his recollections and he blinked a few times before writing 'denied' on the document and proceeding to the next one.

Kai had expected Ray to cry and break down and initially that was what happened. But the next day when they reached China for the evening funeral, the raven head had composed him self so strongly that not a single tear escaped even when he lowered the dead body into the assigned grave with his own hands. He had stood there quietly beside Kai and watched the burial. Kai had left him there alone for sometime and came to take him back way after sun set when everyone had returned. It was surprising as well as worrying when Ray simply tied the pink bandana the dead girl was heard to always wear to a branch near the tombstone and walked away silently.

His assumption had been correct when Mariah's parents told him that Ray had blocked himself from the rest of the world at his mother's funeral as well. And it was true, Ray did not utter another syllable for two days and even when they returned to Japan, he barely talked. But eventually, he cried a few times before telling Kai that he would meet her on the other side and hoped that the murderer had not tortured her before stabbing her. It wasn't much but Kai was more than happy to hear that voice again.

Now, however, he could not guess what had prompted these memories to resurface. Ray had been himself for the past six weeks and Kai was not so easily fooled to believe that the neko's current dilemma was Mariah.

_Well, he promised he would let me know…_

So he shouldn't worry too much. Ray would come to him sooner or later. But still it was hard to concentrate and the next document took almost twice as the usual time to go through as Kai kept peeking at the clock now and then before sighing internally.

_Lawrence better have a good reason to give me this bundle of ten year old records._

Though he knew very well Lawrence Destin, his lawyer and father's best friend, gave these files to Kai so he could acquaint with the business' past and judge what should be approved and what not but it still irked him for paperwork was the most bothersome exertion ever.

A click alerted Kai yet he did not show any sign of awareness when the bedroom door slowly opened. He underlined a paragraph and wrote his opinion and deduction in the side column before signing the file in approval and closing it only to take up the next one.

Ray stood behind the couch, his arms around his torso, before taking small steps to reach the arm rest. His eyes wavered as he shot the bluenette a glance. He had changed and dried up as instructed yet the tip of his nose was still a bit pink. Gradually, he climbed onto the couch and sat with both legs tucked underneath and hands clutched in the lap, keeping far away from Kai. Though he was facing his boyfriend, his gaze was downcast as he sat there silent as a mouse.

Kai closed his work after a minute and placed it on the coffee table where his feet were perched with the rest stuff. Glasses still on, he turned to the teen sitting afar from him. Ray's demeanor was the same troubled one but at least his crying had ceased. Kai watched him intently for a long time, hoping quietly for the golden eyes to rise and assure him all was okay. When it did not happen and Ray stayed in his dejected position, Kai shook his head once before opening his arms and motioning the raven head to move in silently.

Ray's breath hitched up and he seemed to consider the candid comfort before slowly inclining towards his lover's embrace. The bluenette smiled softly when the neko laid his head down in his lap, eyes clenched shut. He squeezed his hold on Ray once before his hand drifted to the unwrapped ponytail. Untying the ribbon, he caressed the scalp before running his long fingers in the damp hair,

"What's wrong?"

The Chinese sighed at the gesture and snuggled deep into his shirt as if being relieved of huge load. Kai did not bother him when no answer was heard and kept up his lazy stroking until he was sure that the teen was completely relaxed. He brushed his fingers on the tanned cheek, noting the invisible dry tear tracks. When his light touch reached the closed eyelids, they opened and stared at his nails, lost in thought.

Moments passed as both young lovers sat there on the couch, safe from the storm raiding outside. Kai was about to rest his head on the back of the seat when Ray finally spoke,

"How was your school today?"

The bluenette frowned somewhat in confusion before looking down at the opened orbs, "Shouldn't I be asking that?"

Ray fingered the buttons on his shirt before whispering back, "Just tell me. How was it?"

"It was the usual. Why?"

"Are you sure?"

Kai sat up straight and immediately Ray pulled away too, "Where is this going again?"

Golden eyes looked away, suddenly interested in the floor and spoke, "How was this week? Anything special happened to you or something?"

"Not really. What's this about?" Kai turned completely to face him, one arm on the headrest.

Ray narrowed his eyes slightly before pressing his lips tightly in a single line and shaking his head in what seemed in disappointment. He turned to him again and shrugged, "Nothing too special, I guess. But I would have liked the truth myself."

"I am being truthful!"

"No…"

"Ray! What's got into you?"

"I want to know what happened on Friday!"

The neko's sudden outburst made Kai blink who registered the demand before thinking deeply about the last week, "What's there to know? I met you…math's class went by…" Kai repeated briefly the whole day carefully, "…then, you went to library and I…went……to……the gym…" Garnet colored orbs stilled for moments when the realization hit him. Unfortunately, Kai was unable to control his shock and the Chinese was quick to see that,

"I see"

"Ray-"

"You forgot the part where Brooklyn came in" Ray pointed out, his eyes once more filling with tears.

Kai couldn't understand where the neko had heard it from or how much he knew. Thus he faltered which proved a mistake. A tear escaped the neko's eye, slowly cascading down till it stopped at the edge of the face before falling on the linen shirt,

Ray let out a shuddering sigh, "You made out with Brooklyn?"

"No. No, I didn't"

"Oh really, now"

"Who told you?"

"Kai, the whole school's gossiping about it!" Ray said, rising his voice, "They saw it! They know about it! Everyone-"

"Ray, listen. It's not what you think. Brooklyn cornered me in showers and he just…it was nothing okay?"

"Brooklyn cornered _you_?" Ray half mocked, "Am I supposed to believe that?"

Kai looked away. It really was nothing. Brooklyn was in one of his flirting moods but before Kai knew it the teal eyed teen closed the space between them and kissed him. It was hard for him to believe that anyone had witnessed that three second drama. He looked back at Ray to find some more tears running down the tanned cheeks.

"Ray, don't cry," He hated it already; he didn't want to see his lover like this. So why wasn't he explaining himself? Why just sit like a mute and let false perceptions make through the neko's mind? The truth was, Kai was just too inexperienced in such situations and was simply at a loss of words. That incident had been wiped clean from his mind and in reality; he had not dwell upon Ray ever finding it out.

Guess he was just mistaken.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No! Don't you even dare blame yourself because of something like this, got it?" Kai scolded, moving a bit forward.

"Then why didn't you tell me Kai?"

"I didn't think it was such a big thing"

"Not a big thing?" Ray spoke shrilly, not caring a bit that he was losing control easily, "For god's sake, Kai. The whole school's gossiping about it!"

"I didn't think there was someone in the showers. And believe me Ray, Brooklyn made the move, I-"

"I'm not blaming you but how could you not tell me? If it was so small why didn't you come clean first?"

"It was nothing to be bothered about."

"It was!"

"Look!" Ignoring the small jump the raven head made at his raised voice, Kai spoke in an ending tone "I didn't mind what happen back then because I took care of it immediately. You might have seen the bandage on his left wrist these days. I've known Kingston and I know what type of hormones that slut has. I'm not shallow okay? He's been dropping hints since a long time. I guess the little compliment the coach gave after the match just got to his head."

If it was possible, Ray looked even more miserable. Hugging his torso, he stared at his bent legs with open sadness, tear-filled eyes narrowed.

Kai hesitated for a second before turning away, "That's all there is to discuss."

The neko sobbed, "Yeah…sure"

The bluenette turned to his fellow, a mixture of guilt and somewhat frustration filling his heart, "Ray…" He fought how to continue the conversation before saying, "How did you find out?"

The said teen shook his head, "Never mind…it's nothing…"

"Ray, there must be more, I know it. Brooklyn and I kissing is sure to disturb you and I'm really sorry for this" Kai rushed, as if the quick he said, the less painful it might be, "But that's not all, is it?" He ended with a serous frown.

"……How could you not tell me?" Ray whispered, not noting that his boyfriend gritted his teeth slightly. He continued, eyes down, "Why did you left something like this-?"

"It was nothing!"

"Kai how would you like it when for a whole week you're kept in the dark-?"

"It was only a few days ago and-"

"Six days have passed!" Ray said, putting a stop to Kai who ran a hand through his two toned hair, "Do you even know what happened today? People have been pointing at me, snickering and talking behind their hands this whole week. Do you know what I did?"

Kai turned his eyes to his lover and his heart sank again when he saw tears once more falling out those pools of gold.

"I confronted them today! After school, I saw another group sniggering at me and asked them like a total fool what the hell their problem was? Do you know what they did? They laughed there straight on my face, nudging each other as if I just made a big joke." Ray wiped his eyes furiously, his gaze fixed on Kai "Before I could say something a senior jock came to me and pushed me against the wall and he asked…he asked…"

"What?" The Russian asked calmly.

"…He asked how much I paid for one night and a blow-job."

Kai's mouth fell open and all serenity was replaced by bloodshed at Ray's small whisper, "WHAT!?"

The neko lowered his eyes in shame and sorrow, "He just stood there…amused…all of them…just standing there waiting for a response…"

Kai lunged forward, grabbing the slim shoulders, "Why didn't you tell me this before?!"

Ray ignored him or the violent shakes, looking side ways, "I punched him and demanded what the hell this was all about…like a total idiot…I just asked them. Do you know what they said? They found it extremely funny that the person I had such a strong public relation with was making out with some other guy in the gym's shower…"

"Ray!" Kai shook him again and this time was able to catch the Chinese's attention who only realized how close and angry Kai was, "How could you not tell me this before?"

Golden eyes assessed him warily before trying to shift in his grip. Swallowing, Ray leant backwards, "I-I…just was…shocked. I couldn't believe it…I-I told them they were wrong but three guys saw you Kai…I couldn't face them…I just walked away then…" He winced when his fists were caught in a strong grip.

"You just walked away and what, Ray? Cried and kept doubting yourself? Why couldn't you come to me immediately?" The bluenette asked crossly, anger evident in his loud voice.

"Kai…" Ray looked back with sudden fear and a shiver ran down his back despite himself.

Kai was perplexed when he saw the fear displayed in his boyfriend's face. Was Ray really…scared of him? Scowling slightly, he raised his hand to the neko's cheek and was himself taken back when the other flinched at the quick action. Backing away a bit, he gazed at Ray, confounded, "You…are cowering from me" He stated in disbelief.

Ray gulped and tried futilely to shake his head but wasn't able to move much.

The crimson eyed teen now sat back on his bent legs, hands limp in his lap, "Ray…you're cowering from me"

"I-I…I'm sorry…I didn't me-" His breath hitched up when Kai moved forward and cupped his face with both hands with surprising gentleness.

"Don't you ever cower from me again, understood?"

The raven head gave a single nod under the meaningful look, "I didn't mean to-I just-I'm sorry."

Kai let out a sigh, opening his arms to hug the younger one, "Come here kitten"

Without a second's wait, Ray moved in the embrace, placing his forehead on his boyfriend's shoulder. Except for Ray's momentary pants, silence descended upon them and Kai tightened his hold on the other, not really knowing what had just happened. When hot tears spread through his thin shirt and onto his flesh, he kissed the raven head and pulled him even closer, "I'm sorry, Kitten. I didn't really know this would happen. It was really heartless to let you face that alone. You're right; I should've seen it coming."

Ray dried his eyes but didn't rise from his comfortable place on the other's chest, "I'm sorry, too…I know-I guess, I-I was just confused, I think I just made a mountain out of a mole hole…"

"You had every right to."

"Sorry…"

Kai shook his head, "Don't be. Hell, if it would've been me in your place, I would had broken the door or something or literally mutilated any living thing in my way by now." He said quietly, trying to lighten the mood somewhat.

The neko stayed quiet, turning to press his ear against Kai's ribcage, listening to the rhythmic beating of the heart. Slowly he curled his fingers in Kai's trousers, other arm snaking around the waist. Kai returned the gesture by rubbing his back in soothing circles and kissing the top of his head. Ray closed his eyes sleepily before opening them and sniffing slightly,

"……Are you going to leave me?

Kai who also had his eyes closed, snapped open at the childish tone, looking down skeptically.

"I don't want you to go…I don't want anyone to leave me again…"

"No one is ever going to leave you, Ray"

"Everyone eventually does. First my father, then mom…then Mariah…"

"Come on, kitten, you're stronger than this"

"I don't want you to go…ever." He repeated, tightening his fist on Kai as if the bluenette would simply vanish.

"I will never leave you, Ray. You know that" He raised the tired neko from his lap and held him near his face with both hands.

Ray blinked, sleepy from the day's exhaustion, "Promise…?"

Kai smiled at the softness of that tone he loved so much, "Always, kitten, I promise…" Bending forward he kissed the small nose before capturing the rosy lips tenderly, drinking in their gentleness and taste. Breaking the kiss, he slowly stood, carrying Ray in both his arms and proceeding to their bedroom. He snuggled in the long black mane as the Chinese wrapped his arms around the neck before drifting to sleep almost right away,

"I love you, Kai"

Kai smiled into the hair but didn't reply immediately. Laying the sleeping neko on the bed, he climbed in, pulling the lithe body against him. Stroking the face, he bent down and placed a chaste kiss on the brow before whispering in the pointed ear, "Love you too…sweet dreams, Ray…"

Staring out at the window where the rain had taken up its full might, Kai sighed quietly. He really did not account what had happen and wasn't even sure he had faced it all. It was so strange but one thing stood aside. He was never going to let Ray cry again like that. It had literally hurt him to see the neko like that and he promised himself, he would never be the cause of his lover's tears again.

"I won't hurt you. And I won't let anyone else hurt you either."

And he was not going to break his word anytime soon. The previous five months with Ray had been nothing but pure bliss for Kai because for the first time ever in his life, he felt that sense of utter completion, something he never experienced before, never tasted, never needed so badly.

"I won't leave you Ray. Nothing's going to keep us away from each other. I promise."

_**

* * *

End Flashback**_

Kai gradually took in a long breath, feeling the weight on his chest getting heavier and heavier with each passing second, literally suffocating him. That event had been a first but soon others followed and a month later, that fateful day arrived and their world shattered to pieces like countless shards of broken glass.

It was strange. Ray was afraid of departure. He never wanted Kai to leave him. He had already experienced so many people leaving his young life. And at that time, his biggest dread had been the fear of Kai leaving him too. Yet, that day, that rainy day, it had been the neko to turn away from him. Ray couldn't handle it any more. He walked away and out…

Kai remembered Tala asking in a state of shock as to how could the neko not believe him. And he had laughed sourly on his inquiry through his regret.

"Tell me Tala, how would it feel if Bryan cheats on you?" He had asked the redhead rather candidly.

Though the cerulean eyed teen had been very much taken back, he had still said stubbornly, "Look, I'm just saying Ray should've-"

"Answer me first"

Silence had descended upon the two friends as Tala did actually ponder on the question. He had stayed quiet for some time before replying in a low tone, "I would've hurt him back, I guess. I would've left him immediately. Perhaps I would have given him a chance to explain and all but at that moment, I would've smashed his face."

"What if you're being told by your schoolmates that your lover was making out with some other pretty face now and then though he denied it each time when confronted?"

It had made the redhead quite uncomfortable and he had tried to think of some way to counter the inquiry before falling silent and answering in a monotone, "If it would have been Bryan, I would never have believed it but…I guess…I would have broken down, too. But the second time, I would've killed him."

Yet Ray had never dropped to such actions. Kai was not to be blamed here yet nor was the neko. He put up with it for four weeks, not only with the rumors, Kingston and the taunts but also with Voltaire. He had never doubted Kai, not even when the bluenette confessed about having sex with Brooklyn under the drugs. Ray just wasn't ready to let go. He had placed all his faith and trust in Kai which was broken many times yet he never gave up. None of the two wanted to part but that day; that day Ray did and went out of his life for good.

Kai had tried to stop him. He couldn't imagine his life without the Chinese and it never occurred to him how hollow it would be without him. But when Ray caught him and Brooklyn alone in that music room, witnessing the strewn tale and rumors with his own two eyes, it was obvious there was no method to repair the inflicted damage in any way.

'_I love you Kai; always has and always will. But you were right; none of us can go on like this. At least I can't…'_

The numbness, the shock, the disbelief, he remembered it all. Just few weeks ago he had promised Ray he would never leave him; that he would never hurt the neko; that they would always be together no matter what happened. But that was not meant to be.

_I'll never forget that day. I lost not only my lover; I lost my whole existence…_

He had stayed there on the bridge after Ray's farewell. He had hoped to wake up, to snap out of the nightmare. But nothing happened. No one came. No one woke him up.

It only got worse…

_**

* * *

Flashback **_

Night had fallen yet the sky never ceased it's crying, weeping the tears in anticipation, in hopes to purify some souls, to relieve their suffering. Yet the water just washed away in its wake, not a single drop amidst so many stayed for the next one simply forced it away. How long had he been simply standing there? Was it some minutes ago or perhaps hours had gone by? The rain had not altered its speed nor had the sky darken. Or was it just him? Then again the street lights had been turned on. So it was way before evening then?

Kai did not know.

He didn't care, plain and simple. Nothing mattered. Ray had walked away from him. It was minutes ago, wasn't it? But then why did his body ache from the chills and his stationary position? Ray told him it was over, right? He had clarified that there wasn't anything left between them anymore, hadn't he? He had made it clear. So why was Kai not accepting that? Why was his mind not responding? What was this sudden hollowness eating his insides?

'_I'm sorry that I haven't been able to give you what you wanted…'_

'…_But I hope that your new interest can…I wish both of you luck…' _

'…_I love you, Kai…'_

"I love you too…Ray…"

As the words left his lips, reality sank in and his dazed composure broke finally after so long. Ray…R-Ray was gone. But he can't be gone. He was just angry and upset…He…he needed some time to think over this. But these assurances were not helpful. And as the fact finally settled that he had lost the one who was his life in general, the light within his soul darken till it was no more.

_Please don't leave me, not now…not ever…_

This was it. His heart clenched painfully and Kai felt as if he would collapse any given moment. His stomach was in knots and his chest burnt. The overwhelming of emotions and the humungous loss did nothing to stop the tears stinging the back of his eyes. Yet he did not cry. He did not break down. And he did not go after the footsteps of his lover's retreat.

Kai Hiwatari just stood there in the rain, just like he had done for so many hours. No one crossed his path and nothing broke his trance; nothing except the cold rain, his only company in the time of dilemma. Or may be it was the loneliness? Yeah, that was it probably. Lonesomeness; a feeling he had acquainted throughout his life until a certain somebody stepped into his life and took him away from his isolation. Now as that someone was gone, he was alone again, like all those years.

_But I don't want to be alone again…I don't ever want to be alone again…_

Yet he turned, gradually, staring at the other end of the bridge he had been on, the one leading to the only place he was welcome; not Ray's apartment but his own home. But it was no longer his home. It was currently a dwelling granting its generous hospitality to a monster; the monster that had been the bane of his existence for so long and once more proved that he was the devil Kai will not get rid of anytime soon.

Kai was not aware that his legs were carrying him to some unknown destination and he did not bother to stop and contemplate on it. His mind was engaged on his life of Russia, the one he thought he would never ever remember again.

His parents had left him before he had even learnt to read. They were murdered by the only other family member he had ever known or so that was what he believed anyway. Twelve years he had stayed in the abbey and eventually with his grandfather before coming to Japan and tasting freedom at its first. Those childhood years in the orphanage he had been admitted too was nothing but torture, a hell on earth given a heavenly name; abbey.

Kai had learnt to rely on no one during the training to become a fighter in the rebel army his grandfather was secretly building. They were forced into isolation with aloneness as their only partner. Yet Kai broke the rules. He found his friends there, similar to him; homeless and without families. Together however they themselves had made a family but on the shutdown of Voltaire Hiwatari's plans, they had slightly parted their ways.

He had his best friend and Tala's lilac haired boyfriend the closest to him in that matter but there was always something amiss. Sure he soon got the butler of his father and got hooked by other staff members and was given a proper home here in Japan, but his heart was yet to feel the content of its existence. And that had been granted when his eyes had first landed on Ray…

Shouting aroused him from his deep stupor and it mildly surprised Kai that he stood in the entrance hall of his mansion. Had he really walked here? The confusion in his mind deserted him when familiar voices entered his ears yet his numbed body and rather shocked system was not able to register anything of the given situation.

"Kai…!"

"Ah! Took you long time didn't it, grandson? But believe me, I wasn't worried at all. I knew you'd find your way back sooner or later."

Dead crimson eyes looked over the threshold with an unfazed look but the empty cavity in the red pools related the lack of sensation or thoughts in him. There standing with a smug victorious expression was his grandfather. But the new development behind him captured his scattered attention as he made contact with a pair of cerulean orbs.

"What's the matter, Kai? Not even going to greet your old man. I feel unloved."

"Kai…?" Tala whispered in dread. The bluenette was soaked and looked as if mourning over a loss which could never be compensated.

The two toned head tilted a centimeter to a side as Kai gazed at his best friend, face expressionless. What was the redhead doing here? He had been sent away from Japan after Voltaire's return so what was he doing in the same room with the senior at the moment? And why were there pieces of broken decorations lying around on the floor and a bruise on Tala's face?

"That's very rude of you Kai. Didn't I teach you your basic manners years ago? Or do I have to revise them all over again?" Voltaire let out a bark of laughter and succeeded in catching the eyes of his young charge.

Kai felt something trigger in him as he watched the man cackle insanely but it was not potent enough for him to retaliate in any way. He did not even flinch when the man closed the distance between them and grabbed his chin roughly, peering directly into his orbs with his similar red ones.

"Something wrong, my dear grandson? Perhaps it might be something to do with that whore of yours?"

Kai's eye twitched slightly as he looked up in the aged face of the taller person. Behind him he knew Tala had tensed at the mention of Ray yet it did not matter to him. Nothing did.

"Come on Kai, I know the little melodramatic breakup hadn't turned you into a mute."

Tala's silent gasp did not go unnoticed by his bluenette friend yet Kai still did not react. Until,

"Fuck you, Grandfather, fuck you."

That only seemed to amuse him further and Voltaire burst into uncouth laughter. From his expression, it was clear that Tala felt the dread in his heart replaced by pure fury but was wise enough not to interfere when Kai was closer than an arm's distance of his grandfather. Yet even he could not hold his anxiousness, "Kai…"

As much as Kai wanted to break free and rush over to his friend for support, he stood his ground and looked Voltaire in the eye. He knew he was crying inside. He could not help it. He had lost the best of the few good things in his life and his only family member was not only happy for his loss but also the cause of it.

"What did I ever do to you, grandfather?" Kai couldn't help it. He needed to know. What possible sin did he ever commit in his life to deserve this? Swallowing the painful lump in his throat, he repeated his plea as Voltaire calmed down from to his sick chuckling, "What did I ever do?"

"Aw Kai, don't go all sentimental on me just because of that little country trash."

"Why did you…why did you do that?"

Voltaire smirked and bent to kiss the lips of his grandson, shivering slightly at the long forgotten sensation of that soft touch. The kiss was not forceful, just a soft one. And it surely intrigued him when no resistance was shown, "You forgot you belonged to me and only me"

Kai did not react in the least and kept his stare steady in the same way, "Why did you…how could-?"

"Look at you Kai. You're weak. I always told you that these emotions are for the weak and look how pathetic you've become. Why I remember some years ago when nothing bothered you, not even my touches. Now only that pretty brat stepped out of your life and you're near hysterical"

"Stay away from him, Voltaire!" Tala shouted, disgust creeping in him. He made to step forward but the haunted look Kai sent him stopped his actions.

"Or what will you do, whore?" Purposefully turning to face the other teen, he wrapped his arms around Kai from the back, resting his face lightly near the shoulder.

The red head seethed, "You sick bastard! The court won't let you win again! You will be soon behind bars and this time you will rot there in prison and die with beings similar to you, you rat!"

"Empty words, Ivanov"

"You really think so? Because the evidence will put you back in the stinking hole you first came from!"

"Evidence…? What Evidence, Ivanov?"

That tone seemingly unnerved Tala and even Kai turned to look at his grand father. Something was not right.

"Kai, what's your friend babbling about now?" Voltaire grinned against the neck of the younger lad before nibbling his earlobe, "Oh I forgot…I didn't announce the news and I've been _dieing_ to let you know"

He turned Kai's head sharply and captured his lips forcefully. The bluenette initially jerked before closing his eyes shut when the sickening appendage roamed in his mouth. He could not help it when his hands shook violently at the assault and he fisted them in hopes of gaining control over his sudden apprehension.

It was too much. H-he couldn't handle this. He just couldn't. This was cruel; plain cruelty. Nobody should be allowed to do this to any other being, especially not a family member. Kai was tired. He knew he couldn't fight. He didn't have the will or energy to do so. Heck, he had just lost his lover and now it was becoming apparent, his sanity was being snatched away from him too. He didn't w-want this…couldn't handle it anymore…no more…

Voltaire pulled away with that revolting victorious leer of his, "I should have told you immediately, Kai, but I guess I just got carried away. After all it has been over more than a year since I, ah, reacquainted myself with you now. I brought a present for you grandson" He pointed at the small package on the coffee table in front of the Sony Plasma TV.

"Kai don't-"

But Tala's plea fell on deaf ears as Kai gazed at the brown paper bag with minor curiosity. He stayed in Voltaire's arms for a while before taking small steps towards the parcel. He bent a bit to pick it up but stopped when he made out the black label upside down. His eyelids lightly flickered before he turned it to make sure he had read correctly. The wrapper had been torn opened and something was scribbled in rough writing,

'MS#33'

His mind fought for the probable meaning but gave up when he saw some black casing beneath it. Sitting on his knees near the table, he slowly pulled the case out of its packing and gazed at a video cassette with uncertainty. With numb fingers, he turned it over for any indication or writing but found none. Although unsure, he pressed his thumbs on the side and opened the cassette's plastic cover.

Pulling out the videotape, he halted for a second before reading the blank writing on the white label and his blood froze. Silence filled the large lounge area as Kai bit back a sharp gasp. His body went rigid and he feared the worst as he read and re-read the sticker, hoping his mind was simply over doing with superstition. Yet it said understandably clear as a day,

'Advocate L.W. Destin'

Kai kept his eyes glued to the tape, fear building in his chest, _No…please don't let it be…_

Turning his eyes to his grandfather in disbelief, he tried wording the question nagging his mind but could utter no more than, "Lawrence…?"

"A pest wasn't he? Put it on, Kai. It's rather entertaining."

"Kai, no-don't!" Tala made forward to the bluenette with a frantic look in his eyes.

"I told you to SHUT UP!"

Kai jumped when Voltaire turned speedily and struck his metal staff right into Tala's chest with much force. Crimson eyes widened and Kai took in a breath with difficulty when he watched a look of sheer disbelief flashing on the redhead's face before replaced by immense pain. Teeth clenched tightly, cerulean eyes closed in agony as Tala doubled over and fell on the couch behind him before rolling in torture and landing on the floor, crying out in ache.

Shoulders shaking while somewhat out of breath, Kai made to run to his fallen comrade but the next words chased away the brief reaction in him,

"I told you to play it, Kai. You don't want blood on the hands of your grandfather now, do you?"

The said teen looked at the elder slowly before gazing at the cassette which has fallen from his hands on his lap. He turned back to Voltaire before training his eyes on the redhead some feet away from him. Tala was panting heavily clutching the place where his heart was as he tried to get up. He hissed in pain when he finally sat and quickly turned away to cough out a large amount of blood.

Knowing he should not entice the senior's anger, he lowered his eyes at the videotape before putting in the player and taking the remote. He swallowed somewhat and from the corner of his eyes watched Tala who tried to gain some control over him. The red eyes dimmed even more if that was possible before rewinding the tape and turning away.

"You're going to enjoy this Kai. I know I did"

Kai knew that he would never like it. His chest constricted when the thought returned that the cassette had something to do with his dad's friend. He could feel the familiar gaze of a pair of blue hues on his back and could relay the warning Tala was trying to give.

The rewinding stopped and he pressed the play button before standing up and taking a few steps away from the TV set.

The snowy image lit up the screen before the real picture came. The video seemed to be captured in night vision and was a mute one with no sounds. According to the time in the left corner of the screen, the shot was of no more than four hours ago. The recording was of a small parking lot with only two cars standing there. Not long, a figure appeared from the right hand side and went to his car and drove off, seemingly unaware that he was being watched. The scene ended.

The short one second blackness gave way to next scene and it seemed as the man who was being taped was being chased by the owner of camera in a car. The automobile in the front took a sharp left before speeding off as if realizing that he was being followed.

The third scene showed that the goose chase was over and two men, dressed in black, faces covered, pulled out the chased person out of the car and into the rain. With a painful realization, Kai realized the shoulder length brown hair enclosing a stern yet young face of his lawyer and claimed godfather.

The man seemed to break free of his assailant before turning and delivering a few good kicks and punches. But before gaining any ground, the second thug came over and hit the advocate up the head with a metal baton. The man's mouth opened to scream in pain before falling on the muddy ground. Like in a movie, one of the attackers pulled out a dagger and with the speed of lightening grabbed the brunette by his hair and drove the weapon straight into his neck.

Though the far away distance of the camera granted fewer details, the thick liquid flowing out, mixing with the rain water could easily be seen. The lawyer sat on his knees, transfixed, but his body jerked violently when the dagger was pulled out roughly. Mouth opened in shock and terror, he was picked up before being thrown in the back seat of his own Mercedes. The second thug jumped in the driver's seat and reversed the car before stopping to park it in a straight line with a large tree.

The guy stepped out before putting some thing in the car. The engine came into life again and the man in black pulled out just in time as the car shot forward and smashed into the tree, automatically creating a scene of road accident. But that did not seem the end of it. The man with the dagger came into the scene with a can and threw the liquid all over the hood, inside the car and some on the tree before retreating to put the can back.

The second guy in that time opened the luggage carrier of the car and threw in a sack of what seemed like white heroin. He also pulled out two packs of cigarettes and threw them in the front seat before walking away. He was joined by his partner in crime who pulled out a match box. Throwing a lighter nearby the car, he lit a match, looked over his comrade before throwing it in the spilled petrol. The fire caught quickly and they backed away immediately to their vehicle and the scene ended.

The last shot was a bit far away the crime scene and the blazing inferno. There it was; a perfect murder with no proof whatsoever. It was just a car accident. The specialists would find the heroin in the ashes and conclude the guy was already an illegal persona of the society, thus the sympathy would be gone. Then the pack of nicotine cigarette and lighter would prove easily the initial source of the fire. Blood, the corpse, fingerprints, any evidence would be washed away from the rain fall and the fire itself. It was no doubt a perfect murder.

The last message crept on the screen in a computerized voice, _"Mr. Lawrence Will Destin eliminated. All the evidence in the office had been taken care off."_

"I love happy endings, don't you Kai?"

The said teen stood there, lips slightly parted, shocked beyond comprehension, _No…n-no! This couldn't be true! It can't be! This didn't happen! Please…no…This couldn't be true…It just can't… _

But painstakingly, it was.

"Law-Lawrence…"

Kai broke down. The pain, the pain in his chest was too much. His breathing did not feel like his own; it was heavy and ragged badly. He fell on the carpeted floor, feeling highly nauseated. Goosebumps appeared all over his body as coldness of the cruel present hit him. Lawrence…his mentor…his guide…the only person he had a relation like that a nephew has with his favorite uncle was gone…

The bluenette clenched his eyes shut. No, this was not true; none of this. He and Brooklyn did not meet today. Ray never left him. Tala was safe in Russia. And Lawrence…Lawrence was just…he would just be over his head in search for some other old folders to pester Kai with. That was all. This was just a nightmare. His grandfather wasn't here goading him. Not in reality anyway. This was a mere dream. He was going to wake up soon.

_None of this is happening…It can't…it's not fair…This is just not happening…_

The world says truth is bitter. Only they do not know what bitter is.

Kai clenched his hair with trembling fingers. This wasn't happening to him. He never did anything to deserve this. He wanted to cry, to scream. Funny, the last time he cried was when his parents died and after that…he never did so. Hell, he didn't ever cry when he went through all those punishments. So he didn't cry right then either. He wanted to, yes. He wanted to cry for the nightmare to end, he wanted to cry for his lover, he simply wanted to cry. But he didn't.

He loosened his grip on his hair and stood, slowly turning to face the sneering face of his grandfather; the cracked, broken shadow of a trapped suffering soul reflected through the shimmering of the crimson eyes.

"You murdered him" Kai whispered.

"Well, I just want to make sure you remain mine, Kai."

"I'M NOT YOURS!!" Kai screamed, rage at its full. But it seeped away just as it came and he felt emotionally drained. Feeling weak, he fell back on his knees on the carpet and kept his gaze down, panting heavily. He wanted to go over to Tala. He wanted to know whether the redhead was okay or would he leave him too tonight.

"Sign this, Kai"

The teen swallowed and turned up to find his relative standing near him with some official looking page in his extended hand. Voltaire placed it in front of Kai and crossed his arms to wait for the boy's reaction.

And Kai did react. His eyes twitched in tiredness again yet they were alert nonetheless. It was a contract. And one more look clarified the bluenette that, in a nutshell, it was a contract that required him to sign his life over the twisted elder.

"I won't."

"What did you say?"

"I said I won't sign this, you sick bastard!" His head hurt badly yet he did not bother.

"Oh, is that so?" Somehow the senior looked even more amused at the reply. Grinning maniacally, he unfolded his arms, "Because you don't seem to have any choice at all, grandson."

Kai simply narrowed his orbs in exhaustion, too weary to glare. But he replied still, "I'm not yours. You have no right over me. The courts cleared that!"

"Yes, well, we all break a few rules sometimes Kai."

"Well this is a rule you'll have to live with, _grandfather_."

"I think not, Kai. Because all you have to do is write your name there and that will be all."

"I will not sign this! You can't make me!"

"Can't I?" Voltaire challenged with a smirk. Reaching inside his cloak, he pulled out a sleek silver revolver and pointed the barrel directly between the bluenette's eyes.

"Kai…!"

The said teen felt a freezing cold taking over his chest and growing till his whole body was numb. Yet he only narrowed his eyes, "I won't be intimidated by you, grandfather."

"Don't make me do this Kai."

"Kill me then!"

Voltaire seemed to pause for a second, contemplating on his next move. The grin reappeared on his lined face and he whispered back, "No…I have a better idea." With that, he turned fluently in the direction where the Russian redhead crouched against the couch and pulled the trigger.

The shot alarmed both the teens and they cried out simultaneously in shock. Kai sat there with his heart beating fast, the fire ringing in his ears and watched as the feathers of the cushion floated in the air before descending like snowflakes around his friend, "Tala!"

The cerulean eyed teen gazed up, only to fall down to dodge another shot that missed him by inches.

"NO! Stop it!"

Voltaire looked at his charge with a leer and clicked the gun again, "What's the matter Kai?"

"Kai, no, don't sign it!" Tala shouted through the pain in his ribs but his breath hitched up when the pistol faced him again. Though Voltaire was at the moment only threatening Kai by shooting openly at him, it was plain that he would not stop to literally hurt the already injured redhead.

Kai looked into his grandfather's eyes before hanging his head in defeat. Voltaire had won. It was over. He didn't want to sign it…He can't…He shouldn't. Yet he knew there was no choice. He picked up the contract, not even glancing through for he already knew once it had his name on it, everything will be back in the hands of the senior; his inheritance, money, his whole life in general.

Voltaire grinned in triumph as the shoulders slumped somewhat. Pulling out an ink pen from his pocket, he offered it to the teen near his feet, "Here you go, Kai"

Kai wanted to run. He didn't care if he had any place left to go but he wanted to simply run. He wanted to get away…perhaps even to his boyfriend. He didn't care if Ray would kick him out or will not let him in. He just couldn't take it…couldn't stand it…couldn't stay.

His fingers trembled as he took the offered pen and looked again at the page on the coffee table. His hand was shaking too badly while his vision was blurred thus he couldn't even make out where to sign his name. An aged hand steadied his shaking and moved his own to the end of the contract where there was a single line for signatures.

Kai could hear Tala shouting at him but couldn't understand. He could feel his freedom slipping away from him yet his mind was shutting down. And lastly, he could see a pair of sad golden eyes waver before his own sight but knew there was no chance of ever meeting them again. He signed.

His grandfather's uncouth laughter filled the firmament and that was last thing he heard before he passed out. His head hit the floor yet he didn't feel anything, anything at all. A single tear finally escaped his closed eyes and fell on the carpet, absorbed into nothingness…

* * *

_**End Flashback**_

Kai stared down the balcony, memories flooding his mind as it was.

_I lost everything that day…everything…_

And it was true. He had nothing to live for then.

But now, the evening's encounter with Ray fresh in his mind, he wondered did he have anything left to lose now? The answer was plain, no. So should he try…should he go back…try to make up? He could of course. But he didn't know how.

Kai looked away with a distressed sigh. Seeing Lee and Ray together tonight had been extremely painful and it made him wonder what dirty cards the lion had played to gain his ex-lover's attention and affection for that matter. That bastard had wrecked their lives and now he had his arms around Kai's boyfriend. To say the bluenette was furious at that was a dry understatement.

_I want you back, Ray. I really want you back._

Kai turned his eyes to the heavens above and felt a single raindrop land on forehead. It stayed there for a while before sliding down on his nose, descending to his cheek and trailing off his face.

'_People have their own dignity and honor if you haven't noticed till now, you bastard…' _

'…_I'm not your whore Kai! I refuse to be an easy lay this time!'_

'…_Go away…away…away…'_

Still staring at the cloudy sky, lit now and then by mild lightening, he parted his lips and let out the words of a song he composed around two years ago,

"…_It's not that I can't live without you,  
__It's just that I don't even want to try…  
__Every night I dream about you,  
__Ever since the day we said goodbye…"_

He lowered his head and clutched the railing again as the true waves of grief hit him. Yet his lament went unbroken as he closed his eyes and swam into the depths of the words,

"…_If I wasn't such a fool,  
__Right now I'd be holding you,  
__There's nothing that I wouldn't do,  
__Baby, if I only knew…"_

A sad smile crept to his lips as he spoke out the next lingering sentences in a melody worth million tears,

"…_The words to say,  
__The road to take,  
__To find a way back to your heart,  
__What can I do?  
__To get to you,  
__And find a way back to your heart…"_

Crimson eyes reopened and Kai pulled out the ever present necklace around his neck. Though the silver surface was cool, his heart felt alien warmth in it. But he didn't open immediately it to see the picture of the person he was singing to. He just held the locket closely as the words automatically broke through his senses, their honesty almost painful to bear,

"…_I don't know how it got so crazy,  
__But I'll do anything to set things right…  
_'_Cause your love is so amazing,  
__Baby you're the best thing in my life…" _

Clenching his orbs shut again, his heart ached as he continued his sad hymn, pliant lips parting in sensual movements,

"…_Let me prove my love is real,  
__And make you feel the way I feel…  
__I promise I would give the world,  
__If only you could tell me now…"_

"…_The words to say,  
__The road to take,  
__To find a way back to your heart,  
__What can I do?  
__To get to you,  
__And find a way back to your heart…"_

His eyes strayed at the snap in the locket and he felt overwhelmed with countless yet intense emotions. Turning back to face skywards, he pleaded, though the plea was headed to the same person whose picture resided in the jewelry piece,

"…_Give me one more chance,  
__To give my love to you,  
_'_Cause no one on this earth,  
__Loves you like I do…"_

Kai stopped as the words flew out. He looked back to the snap and sighed before gently closing it,

"…_Tell me…"_

"…_The words to say,  
__The road to take,  
__To find a way back to your heart,  
__What can I do?  
__To get to you,  
__And find a way back to your heart…"_

He looked at the garden beneath him and smiled a sad smile, lyrics leaving his mouth with a note of perfection and marvel, never breaking or sounding anything less then excellently beautiful,

"…_Oh, I turn back time  
__To make you mine…  
__And find a way back to your heart…  
__I beg and plead,  
__Fall to my knees…"_

"……_To find a way…back to your heart……"_

Kai finished the song, stretching the ending note before falling completely silent to revel in the brief majestic aura created in the open atmosphere.

_Oh Ray…_

Perhaps he had been more absorbed in his thoughts then he would ever admit but Kai had yet to notice a second figure leaning against the balcony doors since he began to sing.

Tala trained his eyes on his friend, partially intrigued that Kai had not discovered him and mostly too dazed by the singing performance he had witnessed. He had seen Kai on guitar and singing before but there had yet to come a time when he was not touched by the guy's captivating tone; the lively intonation always holding a strong tinge of despondency and grief in it.

Cerulean eyes watched the other teen in woe, sensing the misery of the rejection. He was, to the least, shocked to meet Ray tonight at the ball. It had been a total déjà-vu when he had come face to face with the raven haired neko. Yet at the moment, he was more distressed at the turning of the events.

He stepped forward softly and came to stand behind the bluenette, placing one hand on the shoulder with a feather light touch. He was surprised when Kai flinched a bit at the contact and cursed Lord Hiwatari and his existence. With out even checking out properly, he could feel the marks of the belt beneath the simple shirt and sighed,

"Kai…"

"Hmm…?"

Tala didn't know how to respond and fought with himself to come up with something.

"It's been long huh?"

The red head turned to him as Kai stepped forward and placed his folded arms on the cool railing, leaning on its support, eyes straight ahead.

"So very long since we saw Ray…"

Also looking at the quiet garden ahead of them, Tala waited and did not reply. It was uncharacteristic of the bluenette to lead a conversation and he did not want him to stop just then.

Kai sighed, his warm breathing blowing the front bangs upwards a bit, "Don't you wish things would've happen for good? But then again, that's just wishful thinking."

Tala lowered his eyes to his comrade, noting the pale ghost skin and the tiredness in the eyes, "You're stronger than this, Kai. You've been through worse"

The guy did not answer but hung his head, closing his red orbs to hide the inevitable crystal sheen of water.

It had been over twelve months since Tala last saw Kai like that, almost vulnerable. He had moved to Kiev in Russian with Bryan after returning from Hiwatari Moscow Residence with heavy bruises. His boyfriend, now owning his uncle's business of computer software, was beyond furious when he had seen him after a week's torture in the hands of that bastard Voltaire and was quick to direct a restraining order against the senior Hiwatari not to come near him.

Thus, he was not allowed or barely able to visit Kai and two months drifted by. Despite initial denial from the lilac head, Tala had taken the risk to visit the bluenette after hearing that Voltaire was out of country on a business trip. It wasn't as if he wasn't allowed to see his best friend. Ironically, Voltaire never forgot to mention to visit them again soon. The only reason for his short stays and rare trips was the fact that the red eyed enigma restricted him, not only because Tala placed his own safety in danger but also because Voltaire could exploit their bond and cause even more menace.

It had turned out that the elder had returned before planned and found the redhead in the house premises, trying to find the two-toned head who seemed to have disappeared. Tala had been expecting the worse yet it was even ahead of what he had contemplated.

_**

* * *

Flashback**_

Despite the structure looking old and worn out, the door opened silently and three figures entered the barely lit square chamber, a red head and two elders, one of whom had long grey hair and the rather bulky structure. A small corner bulb was switched on but it barely illuminated the room and rather made the darkness look more intimidating.

The grey haired aged man walked forward with a black staff having a steel phoenix head on the top. He walked to the other side wall where seemingly someone was sitting on the floor, head down and legs stretched forward with chains on the ankles while the arms were held above the head in a tiring painful way, wrists shackled to the padded stone walls.

"I was hoping you died back there."

Voltaire smirked as he stood tall before his grandson, "Still feisty as ever, eh Kai?"

"What? You actually thought a little shadow would scare me? I don't know whether you ever learn from your mistakes or are plain stupid."

"I see you've managed to gain some wits in these three weeks, Kai." Voltaire bent down to force the teen to look up. He met angry crimson eyes yet the intensity of the glare went unnoticed by the elder. Kai seemed to have lost more weight than he thought he would and his face told tales of malnutrition and lack of sleep, "Then again, I doubt they will last much longer."

Kai narrowed his orbs despite the dull light burning his sight, "Don't underestimate me, grandfather."

Voltaire laughed before crouching before the younger one and taking the pale smooth face in both of his hands. Kai tugged against his restrains, shaking his head in hopes of pulling away from the hold but to no avail. Instead it only amused the senior who took the liberty of caressing the unpainted skin, loving the reaction when the bluenette growled and tried to get away.

Failing to free himself from the dirty strokes of the other, Kai swore deadly, "Piss off!"

Immediately a hiss left his lips when a hand grabbed his front bangs and pulled them roughly upwards. His face contorted in agony and jaws clenched together forcefully when Voltaire tightened his hold and wrenched his head as if trying to rip his neck off the shoulders.

"It's rude to swear in presence of senior members of the society, Kai. You of all people should know your protocol."

"I'm sorry. I forgot whether that implies for insane faggots too, _grandfather_!" His reply was muffled through closed teeth. He bit his lip when the back of his head connected hard with the wall yet Kai refrained from crying out loud.

"I will have to take care of that tongue of yours, boy. But now, I have other matters." Voltaire let go of the light bluish grey hair and stood up to straighten out his cloak, "My return was not due till the end of this week. Do you know why I cut my trip short, Kai?"

"You went to the swamps due to home sickness but the ogres kicked you out because they don't like competition?"

Though he was clearly expecting to be back handed at that insult but still, it did not surprise him when his grandfather smirked again, "I must say, I missed this sweet mouth of yours." Voltaire latched down and claimed Kai's lips with his, not giving the teen to retaliate as he pressed him hard against the wall.

The bluenette arched his back to throw him off but the weak body could not. Kai panted slightly at the capricious move and seethed at his assailant when he was released. He grimaced and turned his head to avoid another one but shuddered when Voltaire kissed his neck. He bit his tongue in hopes of keeping his shivering in control but his defenses were already cracking.

"You truly fascinate me, Kai" Voltaire spoke, pulling back to look at the flushed panting face, "Each time I break you, you're able to lift your self back up again. What haven't I tried? You even beat isolation at its own game."

"You…you won't break me…I won't let you…"

"Why fight me, Kai? Why not accept your fate? Why not welcome my touch?"

"This is not my fate! This…"

"…is what you were destined to be, boy. One should never question destiny!"

Kai's body trembled at the words and swallowed. His feeble resistance had gained too many cracks and he was slowly crushing under the pressure.

Voltaire smirked in triumph when no witty answer left the slate haired teen, "You will submit to me, Kai. And once you do, I have other plans for you. And this brings us back to our first conversation. I went to meet the Vaclav family; the Trademark Entrepreneurs. And I must say that I find Lady Nikki rather entertaining."

Crimson eyes briefly widened in confusion before narrowing down all the same, "Assume whatever you want but I'll not consent to any matrimonial ceremony."

"That's for me to decide. You're still under my bidding. Or may be it's just that you're having a hard time letting go?"

Voltaire watched in twisted amusement as Kai paled when he pulled out a delicate silver chain with an oval pendant in the middle. Sitting down again, he grinned when Kai fidgeted at the close proximity, uncertainty written clearly on the vivid features. He had taken away that little relic of comfort ages ago. No doubt seeing it again in such consequences had tripled the insecurity within him.

"Does this reminds you, perhaps, of the good old times, grandson? When your pet was there at your every beck and call?"

His heart seemed to stop yet his mind was forcing him to lash out and kick, despite knowing its implausibility. Kai mentally flinched when the older man placed the chain back around his neck in a slow tantalizing speed, the callous fingers brushing his skin. But Voltaire only seemed to have begun. His hands rubbed his shoulders before slowly traveling down his torso, tracing the muscles before caressing his sides. Kai struggled uselessly in the hold and gasped when the hands reached his lower back,

"GET BACK!!"

The senior slapped him across the face at the loud shout, the strength forcing his head to hit the wall again. Voltaire took the moment of surprise and pushed his tongue in the sweet mouth of the teen, licking the back of his throat before pulling back with a satisfied look.

"Oh and curse my old memory, I almost forgot why I was so eager to rush back home to you, my dear grandson. I'm sure it will be a treat for you nonetheless."

Kai heaved slightly, the starvation and fatigue catching up with his tired body. It was apparent he was breaking. Nothing could hide it anymore.

The senior Hiwatari pulled out a single piece of newspaper from with in his cloak and opened it to mildly look at the international news, "I had some business at Botswana but I cancelled it when I heard the fabulous news during my short stay in Hong Kong. It seems your little whore is throwing himself a big party in honor of his latest achievement."

The bluenette felt as if the floor had been pulled beneath him. His mind shut down, unable to access the information before his eyes. Kai wished it wasn't what he thought it was but the snapshot was clear and the article simple in its writing, leaving nothing for excessive pondering,

'_**La Xian finally opened for business.'**_

'_Hong Kong; Owner of over 69 restaurants in China, including The Deluxe, The Morikis and Shin Lee's, has inaugurated and added another four star restaurant to the long chain of eateries in honor of the 25__th__ Anniversary of The Deluxe. The inauguration took place this morning at 1100 hours with the chief guest-'_

This might seem to gain no concern whatsoever from any of the four people present in the sub basement's room but the side picture pulled a number on the two toned haired teen. Kai gazed with opened eyes at the snap taken and lost his remaining sense of sanity.

There, in front of the main entrance to the new restaurant, among the chief guest and the head chef himself, stood a tall teenager, no more or less than his height, dressed in a black and red Chinese dress with long raven hair wrapped in red bindings and the front bangs kept away from the golden eyes with a red and black yin-yang bandana.

Deadening silence pressed against the four walls of the chamber before it was broken when Kai banged his head back on the wall, parting his lips to finally scream in anguish.

Tala shrank back in the corners where he had been standing hidden from the view in the shadows as he watched his life long friend thrash violently in his restrains and scream out curses at fate. He watched with apprehension as Voltaire folded the piece of newspaper, turned and walked to the door as if nothing just happened. He passed the redhead a victorious leer before throwing a ring of keys on the dirty floor and left the chamber, his hired hoodlum closing the door behind with a snap.

Cerulean eyes squeezed shut as Tala was left alone in the dingy chamber with the other distressed teen. Letting out a shuddering breath, he grabbed the keys and reached the screaming bluenette. He watched in sorrow of what was left of the tainted being and felt his throat constrict when Kai turned away to heave in pain, the dry throat no doubt parched.

"Kai…" The redhead gently caressed his cheek in hopes of soothing his agony somewhat. Instead Kai edged away, tears now apparent behind the beautiful lashes. Swallowing down the lump that had appeared, Tala unlocked the chains binding the legs before opening the shackles around the wrist, slowly bringing them down. They seemed stiff as stone from the lack of movement and he noticed when Kai winced at the action.

Throwing away the restrains, Tala moved away when Kai tried to bring his knees up and wrap arms around them, regardless of it being rather painful. He touched the shaking shoulder subtly before placing both hands on the bluenette.

"He found him…"

Tala ignored the whisper though his heart clenched at the broken voice. He busied himself in straightening the other's attire after noting how badly it was ruffled and how loosely they hung his frame.

"I tried…I tried so hard…so badly…but couldn't. I couldn't find him…why him? Why did he have to be the one…why couldn't it be you…or Bryan…or…?"

"Kai…" Tala tried but was interrupted,

"Why is this always…always…why me?"

The cerulean eyes stung but the redhead managed to keep his tears at bay after hearing his friend's tone like that, "Kai, please…you're stronger than this. Ray will be fine…"

"No he won't" Kai looked up from his curled posture, shocking Tala when he saw the tears cascading down his face. He always cried silently, never once letting a sound thus it was imaginable why the redhead seemed highly disturbed, "Voltaire has the aces here…he knows it…and you know he won't stop it…"

Tala hugged him, wrapping his arms around his friend and hugging him closer. Kai meant the world to him and seeing him in tears was killing him from the inside. What hadn't he done for the bluenette to grant him a better chance at life? He had struggled with him when Kai had been fighting for their freedoms in courts and had started a brand new start in Japan with him by his side. When Kai found an interest in Ray, he had made sure the bluenette confessed his feelings for the golden eyed beauty. And when Voltaire had returned, despite being sent away, he had rushed from Russia to once more help the guy.

Just like now.

Kai had been the first one who befriended him when he was found homeless on the streets and took to the abbey by some strangers. Though everyone had pushed him away because of his eccentric looks and hair color, the little bluenette had first stepped forward to take his side. He had always tended to Tala's need before his and looked after him like his brother. It had also been Kai who saved him years later when the labs at the abbey collapsed due to an experiment gone horribly wrong. And when Tala had been subjected to some latest software technology and comatose due to the research and experimentation, Kai could no longer brook the brunt and went forward with a full fledged court case against the abbey.

"Hush…Ray is safe now and he will be…Kai please…" He added when the other fisted his shirt in what seemed like tension. The bluenette pulled away, not meeting his eyes and leaned backwards on the stone, apparently tired.

They stayed in silence as Tala wiped the tear tracks away from his face, partially because to assure it was what they seemed. The crimson dimmed further when he combed his hair with his fingers as if his mere touch caused him long forgotten agony. Tala stopped though when Kai closed his eyes and asked,

"Why did you come?"

"You know I would have otherwise, too"

"I told you to stay away. You know what he can do to you-"

"I don't care, Kai!"

"But I do! I don't want you to do this, alright! He'll only hurt you to do this to me!" Kai fell back from his shouting, heaving lightly, dark circles standing out more on the pale skin. He looked genuinely starved and worn out and it astonished Tala that he had been holding on for so long without any sense of comfort.

While the red head was still thinking over what next to say, the slate head spoke, "…He won"

A beat passed and Tala stared at him in disbelief, hoping for his ears had deceived him, "What did you say…?"

"He won alright…He wants me…He always gets what he wants…"

"Kai…you can't!"

"I'm tired Tala, I'm tired…" Kai mumbled, looking at him through the dark lashes, "…and Ray…I guess he has a life now…I don't want to ruin it for him…"

"You're giving up!"

"My pocket"

"Huh?"

"My pocket…check it"

Tala gave him a skeptical look before searching his pants pocket and finding a page in the left one, roughly folded in four. Kai took the time to pick the chain around his neck and caress the cool surface with extreme care, "I wrote these lyrics three weeks ago. But I couldn't complete it…didn't know how to continue actually. And then Voltaire came……and I just ended up here"

With deft fingers, Tala unfolded the piece of paper and saw the stanzas written in beautiful slanting writing. He paused to pass his friend a look, which was simply rolling the pendant in between his finger and thumb and started reading the lines,

'…_Sound the bugle now - play it just for me  
__As the seasons change - remember how I used to be  
__Now I can't go on - I can't even start  
__I've got nothing left - just an empty heart _

_I'm a soldier - wounded so I must give up the fight  
__There's nothing more for me - lead me away...  
__Or leave me lying here… _

_Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care  
__There's not a road I know - that leads to anywhere  
__Without a light feat that I will - stumble in the dark  
__Lay right down - decide not to go on…' _

Tala paused at the last line, his heart filling with pain at the innocence of the words that relayed such anguish. He stared at the parchment before looking deeply over to Kai. The bluenette just played with the locket, humming in tune now and then with broken lyrics which seemed similar to the one written on the sheet.

"Wounded…so I must give up the fight…"

"Kai…why…"

"There's nothing more for me…Lead me away…"

"Stop it…"

"……I didn't know how to end it…"

"Get a grip!" Tala took his shoulders and shook him slightly but when the bluenette finally gazed up and crimson clashed with cerulean, he wished he hadn't done so. The eyes were empty, simply dead. This wasn't the soul he had met all those years ago. This wasn't the Kai he knew. And the deadness of the orbs just gave him another reality check, one he was again not too glad to know.

The spirit in Kai had been broken. It was tarnished before but now; it simply wasn't alive any longer. The orbs that once shone with determination, wittiness, responsibility, strength and a blazing inferno of undying passion and love now portrayed nothing but blank omission; conveying that he was also just human, just another suffering being.

"…I don't want to go on…I can't fight him any longer…"

Tala embraced him again, rocking backwards and forwards in slow motions, heart feeling a heavy loss. He couldn't help it and let the first of the tears escape his eyes when the whisper reached his ears,

"…I want to sleep…I'm too tired…"

* * *

_**End Flashback**_

Voltaire had succeeded in what he had been trying to do so for more than fifteen years and after that, tonight was the first of the nights when Kai actually disobeyed the senior.

_We can't go on like this…he won't last much longer this time…Lord Voltaire wouldn't let him…_

"Tala…"

"Yes…Kai?"

The bluenette rose a bit from his hunched position before letting out a sigh. He looked at him with weariness, "I know I've always asked too much from you…but I want this more than anything…"

Tala straightened up as well, looking at Kai directly in the eye, "You know I'll do my best."

The two toned head smiled a bit, "I know."

He turned to stare at the sky again, lost in thought. Tala couldn't help it and stepped nearer to wrap his arms around him in a brotherly embrace

"……I want Ray…Please bring him back…"

The redhead bit his lip but after some seconds replied, his voice promising and full of confidence,

"I will, Kai, I promise…"

* * *

If this would have gone any longer, you guys would have a dead authoress with a serious brain damage and system malfunctioning on your hands. And my lawyers (which I have to get from somewhere but let's look over this teensy weensy thingy) will sue you all!!

Okay, here are a few inquiries which I beg you to answer because seriously, I need to know and the fate of the next chapter depends on these.

1. The ages of Kai and Ray and others have been bothering me for quite some time and after being pointed out twice, I wanted a general opinion that should I alter them and make them older? That would mean re-editing the previous chapters all over again as I've been a bit too much in detail about the years and ages.

2. Then is the question of songs. I mean every other song goes with the story, literally. But I have this habit and many of you out there are bound to have it too, that in many fictions where the lyrics are just mentioned without proper reference, they do not interest you. So should I bother with them or not in the upcoming chapters?

3. Now this is based on an author's anxiousness. Are you guys able to catch the drift of the story or are there major loop holes present? Please point this out. And also, whether the flashbacks are being a nuisance or rather helpful, do tell me.

Any other suggestions about the plot, critique about OOC-ness and opinions about the future are more than welcome. Please keep me up to date with your thoughts for they matter a lot to me. Any complaints about the length of the chapters are also appreciated.

So readers, two days later, my papers will end finally! Please be grateful to this entry because much of my sanity, sleep, and study have gone to waste over this that it's hardly imaginable. To tell the truth these are only first three scenes out of the nine scenes beforehand planned in Chapter No. 3 but this chap is over 42 pages for lord's sake! I couldn't take it to possibly 90 pages! Hell, don't want you guys dozing off.

Please R&R with keeping all the aforementioned in mind. I'll be grateful.

Till next time,  
Neena


	4. Chapter 4

Hey fellers, I'm sorry for the lack of updates but, in a nut shell, I've been going through rather busy, tragic, depressing and totally unfortunate times with a serious writer's block. Caution: This chapter is written in a very un-Neena-ish mood so please, bear with me. There will be grammatical mistakes and the vocabulary sucks big time!

_**Note:**_ Keeping in mind the reviews about chapter lengths and the fact that I have very less time and a deranged mind, this chapter is rather short. Chapter 4 and 5 (once I've posted it) are actually one chapter in total and I'll merge them together soon enough. I'm sorry but this chapter is short of three major scenes which will be in Chapter 5. I hope this makes sense.

Please don't sue me. This is not my best effort yet. And I'm sorry for cutting the scenes but it's either this update or a month later update. Forgive me.

Enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter No. 4**_

* * *

Morning was here. The army of dark clouds had retreated somewhat to allow the lone rays of light to pass through for once. The same rays that now crept into the room, an apparent irony against the stinging coolness. They spread out as if in a curious search, illuminating the very corners of the room. And then stayed, though glowing but somehow dull as if disappointed for not succeeding in their hunt.

Ray laid there, awake yet benumbed. The white sheets pooled around him, ruffled and creased, deftly indicating to be straightened out yet not a muscle was moved. He just laid there, eyes not blinking, his breathing indiscernible. For how long had he gazed at the window right next to his bed, his mind did not comprehend. Nor that he cared.

A dream…a figment of imagination of a tensed, deranged mind…nothing but a nightmare…

Placing his hands on either side, he pushed himself up in a sitting position. He would have bit his lips at the painful stiffness in his limbs but somehow not a single pang of discomfort woke him up from his dead state. Surveying the room tiredly, he slowly moved his legs as if to test their mobility. A sharp pain ran up his spine yet, else then a gradual blink, not a sound left those pliant lips. Getting to his feet, Ray subconsciously trudged to the life sized oval mirror in the corner, not even berating on what to expect.

And truly, it had no affect, whatsoever, on the teen who stood there in cold, scrutinizing his reflection with not even a flicker of concern.

His sick body was clad in nothing more than a pair of black trousers, skin slick albeit pale, pupils dilated exactly like when eyes constrict in a state of fever or flu. His gaze slowly traveled to his hands where the finger tips held a tinge of blue, the normally pink nails discolored. And then it went for the cold lips, swollen and bruised, the lower one supporting a minute scratch. And finally, it landed on the three bruises decorating his neck, standing out prominently in the naked daylight.

Ray simply stood there, lost, his eyes slightly wide as he took in his less than immaculate condition, eyes roaming slowly over his self before meeting the confused hues of gold that reflected back in what seemed like deep, hidden sorrow.

"_Look what he did to you…"_

Ray slowly lifted his gaze from his abused neck and froze.

Hidden behind the silver bangs, crimson burnt his soul as Kai pore over the reflection in the mirror with a slight tilt of his head, standing less than a foot behind him.

Ray did not move, did not speak, did not feel, as Kai's eyes dimmed, portraying a sense of irreplaceable loss. He watched through the mirror as his ex-lover exhaled slightly before resting his chin on his shoulder. Goose pimples appeared on his exposed skin as the Russian's pale fingers reached up to glide over his arm in a feather light touch, stroking but not actually touching, as Kai examined the bite marks.

Disappointment, agony and deep sadness etched on those handsome features as the bluenette sighed and closed his eyes, gently turning his head to whisper in that pointy ear, lips millimeters away,

"…_He ruined you…"_

Raven bangs whipped at the force as Ray turned violently to his right, his mind actually betraying him as the crimson orbs faded away.

Managing to ease his beating heart, he scanned the room with a hidden fear of being found yet other than his tainted being, no one was there. Not even the phantom of his lover. And once realizing this fakeness and harshness of the reality, his heart sank. Painful it was so much that he did not even turn back to his questioning reflection.

A wave of nausea hit his head and Ray almost collapsed with the dizziness. Clutching his hair, his eyes turned at the bottle on his nightstand, lying innocently there with the unbroken seal mocking him for being so naïve to accept them without reason. Not able to brook the brunt, his legs gave away and he landed on his knees on the wooden floor.

The sudden urge to scream and thrash out in desperation did not go unnoticed by his conscience yet at the same time, he felt drained, so completely drained. Slowly liberating his fingers from the knotted hair, he let his hands fall on either side, defeated. Golden eyes once more landed on the bottle of drugs and all the sensation suddenly left his system, leaving a deep hallow cavern devoid of any emotions and inner turmoil.

What went wrong…? What possibly could've gone so wrong to land him where he was now? How could it…? Why did Lee…?

Ray stopped.

Lee!

His mind eventually kicked into action when his hearing ability caught on some television noises from the small lounge to his bedroom, the only barrier in between being a slightly ajar door.

A shiver ran down his body as the events of yesterday night flashed before his eyes, vivid in their description. Did Ray dare approach him?

Slowly and carefully climbing to his feet, Ray gritted his teeth when his limbs protested again against the unfair moment. Yet gulping down the trepidation, he rubbed his slightly sweaty palms on his trouser legs and made for the door.

* * *

_And the tiger awakens._

Lee drained his tea and placed the mug with mindless graffiti printed upon it on the coffee table. A smirk crept up his face and he turned from his recumbent position on the couch to his dear neko-jin standing under the doorframe.

_Gods, I can't believe someone can still look so…fuck-able…even like this._

Lee ran his eyes, unashamedly, over the barely clothed body and was amused when disbelief settled into Ray's features. Still, not giving up the chance to please his own self even more, Lee greeted, his tongue running over his upper teeth for a second,

"Good morning, Ray."

Ray looked torn between stepping back in retreat and standing there and facing what Lee had in stored for him. And it was appreciable that he chose the latter, even when he was aware that Lee followed his stumped movements intently.

Ray gradually crossed the threshold and sat away on the only other single seat present there, way far for the lion's liking. Hands clasped tightly in the lap and legs drawn closed, Ray stared at his hands before turning to the anchor person reporting the latest wrestling championships in the sports segment. Though it was habitual of him to take a peek at the hourly news, especially in the morning, the nine o'clock news hardly did anything to distract him, hence, he turned back to stare down again.

"Had a good night sleep, Ray?"

Lee could have almost shivered in deep carnal pleasure when Ray noticeably tensed up and registered him with a wavering gaze. Hair spiked in every direction, he could tell that he had left an everlasting impression on him for he could easily detect the fear and unease in his eyes.

Though failing to respond, Ray still jumped when Lee made the sudden moment to stand up, "Let me get you some hot tea."

Ray closed his eyes and tried to soften the parched throat. He knew it was now or never. Or else he would just totally lose it and submit to a simpering mess. He just knew he would. And somehow, he wasn't ready to let this opportunity pass away, to break down again. The guy…the guy had sex with him……involuntary sex……raped him…

He squeezed his eyes even closer together, noticing the inevitable moist gathering behind his lids. It was such a word…such a big word… It couldn't be associated with him. It shouldn't!

"…Lee…" Ray opened his eyes to register the other, his hair standing erect with anxiety. He managed not to choke when the said person tilted his head casually in reply,

"Yeah…Ray?"

Amber eyes watched as Ray's lower lip wavered in apprehension, not knowing how to or what to say out loud. His sight traveled from the face to the well toned chest and Lee suddenly had an urge to touch that skin, to feel it shudder under his fingers, to stroke it like his own possession. His smirk widened a bit and he turned back to Ray who had yet to utter anything else.

Feeling it was time wastage, Lee opened his mouth but Ray beat him to it,

"Lee, h-how could you?!"

"Hmm…? How could I what, Ray?"

His shoulders shook in tremors and he snaked his arms around his bare chest in somewhat defense before faltering a reply, "Why did you do that? How-how could you do that?"

Lee registered the raven head quietly before beckoning him with his finger, effectively freezing him on the spot, "Come here, Ray."

The words held such an authority yet a profound sense of attachment and understanding and looking back, Ray would never know what caused him to actually comply.

Lee internally chuckled as Ray stood up shakily before sitting on the couch near him and facing him with wariness. Not able to keep it to himself, Lee smirked in victory, watching as the golden orbs widened before narrowing dangerously,

"You bastard." Ray whispered, hating himself for actually obeying the other.

"No Ray…" Lee cooed back before reaching forward and cupping the surprised neko's cheek.

Ray jerked up when the touch registered in his mind but Lee took advantage of his moment of shock and pushed him against the high arm rest. Internal fear was washed away by sudden rage and Ray balled his fist, ready to pummel the other's face but his punch was caught in the tight grip.

Lee grinned when Ray's eyes scrunched up as he twisted his wrist in warning, "Those drugs were highly potent, Ray."

"I won't let you get away with this!" A venomous hiss and a death glare was the only reply Lee got before Ray once more tried to throw him off.

Not liking the useless struggle and the fact that he was being kept from the tiger, Lee managed to grab the other wrist too. The surprise was short lived as Ray pulled his legs back to kick in defense. Only, Lee climbed on top of them, pressing his knees deep into his thighs at a very painful angle to keep the younger from kicking out with rage. Ray gritted his teeth at the sheer violence and bit his tongue to keep from groaning as his limbs trembled under the forceful stress.

The lion watched with appreciation as Ray's struggles, as little and futile as they were, slowly stopped and he opened his eyes to look at him, confusion mixed with anger, "What are you doing?! Let go Lee!"

A smirk only came in response and Lee grabbed both caught wrist in one hand and straightened up a bit, knowing that the movement caused the one under him tremendous pain as his whole body weight rested on Ray's legs. Running his free fingers through his hair, he glanced down. How long had he wished to be in this position, to have this angel beneath him, writhing and trembling? To be dominant and finally gain control over one creature who was the cause of many wet dreams and sleepless nights.

Lee knew he was a sadist. And oh he loved that so; especially the fact that it was Ray who was his prey, his delicious hunt.

"Lee, get off! You're hurting me!" Ray was getting restless. The ebony head had not spoken and was studying him so intently that it made Ray no less comfortable as he was already in that posture. His arms and legs useless with a migraine gradually fabricating in the side of his head, the neko could see that the only safe way out was through negotiations.

Yet somehow, his mind doubted that and his heart backed it up with immense fear.

"Lee…please…let go!" He whispered as the hand in his hair kept up the lazy strokes. Sheen of tears glossed his eyes as the person addressed did not give any heed to his request. Instead, he watched with ever growing dread as Lee bent forward, bringing his lips closer and closer, "Lee…stop…" With a sole crystal drop escaping, he turned his head to one side to avoid the contact only to let out a shuddering gasp when those lips traced his side of the neck.

Lee could feel the shivering, the pants, could feel the fright controlling Ray's body as he kissed the tanned skin, pleasured quivers running down his own back at the troubled gasps.

Ray squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lips to stop the impending moans and huffs yet of course he was only human and could not conjure enough will to forget that it was friend that was assaulting him right there in his home, "…Lee…" He breathed through clenched teeth as the mouth withdrew, leaving his confidence and state of mind crippled.

"I want you, Ray…"

He met those amber eyes and it shook Ray to see such alien longing in them.

"I want you now. Just like I've wanted you for all these years… Do you even realize how much I love you?"

"This isn't love, Lee," Ray whispered back, his breath reflecting after hitting the face above, "You're driven by lust! How-how could you? I can't believe this-! Get off!"

Ray hissed when Lee pressed him deeper into the couch by his knees. His legs bent beneath him with the lion sitting on his thighs, his feet had long lost proper circulation while the tips of his fingers had gone bluish by the single hand grip on his wrist.

"I can't believe this is you, Lee" The neko swallowed, continuing through the pain while his assaulter just looked at him, "I never thought you'd ever do this! To me, especially! I-"

Silently, Ray cried. He cried because lips covered his own in a soft chaste kiss. He didn't want this. Not now, not ever!

"You know you want this, Ray. You know I want this. So why can't you grant me this satisfaction? Why can't you be mine?"

"I don't belong to anyone." His lips brushed against Lee's yet there felt a need to respond to the other's fatuous demands.

Lee smirked, "Oh yeah? What about Hiwatari then?"

Ray shifted at the mention of his ex-lover, partially to throw off the other and partially because the previous night's memories and the one he encountered in the bedroom flooded his mind. Not making any success in the former though and knowing that the ebony head was expecting an answer or a defeat, Ray whispered, "Kai never owned me…I didn't _belong_ to him because I don't _belong_ to anyone. This has gone far, Lee. Get off!"

As expected, Lee didn't. Instead he licked Ray's face again, closing his amber eyes as if enjoying his prey. Hearing those short pants, he breathed in Ray's ear, "I will have you, Ray."

"…I won't let you." He whispered.

"You will submit…"

"…No, I-I won't…" His determination gaining continuous cracks as the lips caressed him.

"I will make sure every tender fiber of your pagan body belongs to me…"

"…S-stop it…!"

While Lee simply looked up from the tears that now stained that beautiful face, Ray startled at the sound of ringing phone that cut through the heavy ambiance. Eyes focused on the blinking device, Lee did not even bother about the mindless struggles Ray was carrying. Rather he was contemplating whether or not to answer.

_Why won't he get off? Please Lee,_ Ray thought desperately, _Go answer it_.

At last the message machine cut in and after hearing the repeated instructions, Ray was yet again surprised to hear Tania's concerned voice,

"_Umm…Hey little bro……why aren't you picking up the phone…? I've been trying to get hold of you since morning! I called Lee but his machine says he's at work. Listen, Ray, I don't know what's been __going on but you have to get down here at La Xian! I was coming to get you myself but a Committee member is coming and I can't possibly leave now. Look it's not right for you to be there; Lee can come any minute and……well…never mind that…just…just get here…please…"_

The click sound indicated the finishing.

Lee smirked, _Stupid Anderson…_

As much as he was taken aback by the voice message, Ray further started when Lee got off his legs and slowly released his wrists. He did not get up or moved as Lee straightened his ponytail and attire before grabbing the keys of his car and standing up. In fact the only time he flinched visibly was when the lion bent down to kiss him and whisper,

"I will come to get you…just you wait, darling…"

And Lee left, smartly locking the apartment door behind.

It was after the hush of the firmament returned that Ray could move. And when he did, he only got away from the armrest against which he was trapped before falling down on floor, wanting to scream his heart out. A wave of dizziness hit him and he started to hyperventilate, breaths coming out short and unsteady.

Lee's voice rang… _'I will have you, Ray…'_

_He's insane…he's…he's mad! _

'_You can't begin to imagine how teasing you look with clothes partially on, your hair sprayed on the pillow like that, lips pink and swollen.'_

Ray clutched his hair again as the scenes and voices returned from the night.

'_How can you expect someone not to take you right this second?'_

He could see himself shaking his head in denial, trying to stop those wandering hands yet never succeeding.

'_You have always been a cock tease Ray and still are.'_

Lee…Lee…his friend…his life-long companion…

'_I want to fuck you now; long and hard.'_

"How could you…?" His whisper was broken, tears running free down his face.

'_Ray…'_

Everything that had happened before seemed erased, obliterated from his mind. Only the shifting images of him accepting the white pills, the moans, the gasps, the pain…of yesterday night…in his bedroom…That was all he could hear, all he could see…

'_Ray…'_

How could Lee manipulate their friendship like that? His god damned looks? Was that what the lion was obsessed in for so long?

"You bastard…You fucking bastard…"

"_Ray…!"_

"Leave me alone!"

Ray looked up through his tears and his heart stopped for the second time this morning. He could easily see the hanging Chinese painting and the wall through the ghostly figure yet the phantom conjured by his tainted deranged mind looked solid than before.

Kai spoke, _"Look at you…"_

Instantly, Ray was reminded of the night's events…Lee whispering to him…_'Look at you; you're so hot right now, so sweet and vulnerable, shaking like a leaf…'_

"No…" His voice was hoarse as he whispered to the delusion, finally, remembering the starting events leading to this nightmare.

Grabbing the first thing in reach –a sofa cushion- Ray flung it at the image; only, it vanished for a mere second before Kai reappeared on the same spot and spoke softly, every word standing out,

"_I told you to come with me…"_

Ray shook his head, forcing his self-created ghost to vanish. And it did. But the murmur of his name from those beautiful pliant lips, that once he used to cherish, kept ringing in his apartment and there remained hardly any power in Ray to avoid it.

'_Ray…Ray…Ray… Ray…Ray…Ray…Ray…Ray…Ray…'_

"Please…" Ray begged. Drawing his knees up and circling his arms around it, he curled into a ball with his back to sofa. Lowering his head onto his arms, the golden eyes closed and he whispered a wish, a plea; "…Go away…Leave me alone…"

* * *

"Any sign of him yet?"

The noon hour at La Xian was as per usual in its routine; esteemed officials and guests streaming in through the beautiful doors for their much awaited lunch while waiters in gold and purple gently floated across the floor, bringing delicacies and dishes alike as ordered.

"Tania, I'm talking to you."

The noon light basked the exterior of the restaurant in an almost unearthly glow, peering through the blinded windows in hope of witnessing the inner activity. However, as unlikely as it was, violet eyes shared a common curiosity like those sun rays, though their curiousness was reflected towards another direction.

"Tania!"

Akiko looked disapprovingly at the other as she blinked out of her thoughts to turn to her, "Sorry? You said something?"

The Japanese receptionist rolled her eyes, "I think it's better if I take over the reception for now. You look lost."

Tania gave a shake, turning back to the bills in her hand, "No, I can handle. My shift is just for another fifteen minutes and besides, I have to sort this out before the next shipment."

Even then, Akiko joined her behind the magnificent marble reception counter. It was made of Prussian blue marble in a curve with a thin glass surface on top where a golden plated sign with '_Reception'_ engraved on it rested. A beautiful arrangement of fresh flowers decorated the corner while a bold italic 

insignia, bearing the name _'La Xian'_, covered the painted wall behind. The space was enough for four workers to occupy yet before 6, only one of the receptionists controlled the threshold.

Hidden from the arriving guests' eyes, a state-of-art stereo system laid under the top of the counter while the other side managed complete alarm and security system with delicate switchboard right next to it. Also away from the view sat a neat cashier machine, a LCD monitor, various files and note pads and a few registers and such. The two always present marble stools for the cashiers', stood tall on the beige marble slabs which covered most of the restaurant floor.

"Aren't you going to check on him?"

Tania looked up from entering the bills in the register and turned to the golden framed wall clock on the side. It had been more than two and a half hours. Before she could reply, the doorman opened the door to let in a tiny portly man in his late fifties. He went straight to the reception and it was a miracle that he could stretch himself enough to meet Tania's eyes.

The moment he reached, he spoke in a cheery fashion, conversing in accented Chinese, "Tania! How do you do, young girl?"

Smiling, she greeted, "Long time, no see, Mr. Henson. We were worried we'd lost a valuable customer."

"Oh I've been kept busy!" He waved his fat hand dismissively, "You haven't seen the last of this old man! I'm afraid you won't get rid of me that easily!"

"I'm glad to hear that. Would I have you escorted to your usual table or…?"

"Oh not this time, you see. I have some special guests flying in from Bucharest and they have heard so much about Chinese food that they just can't resist the wait anymore. So I want your people to be at their best, not that I have any complaint of course but I just thought I'd give you heads up." He winked playfully. "It's a Mr. Cohn and a Mr. Groton"

Tania quickly wrote the names down, "Very well, sir. If there isn't anything else, please, Ten-Ten will show you your table."

They watched the football of a man bounce after another waitress before Akiko commented, "He's a funny man."

"Yeah…So what were you saying?"

"What about Master Ray? He's been in there for so long!"

The staff here at La Xian always addressed Ray as Master Ray, much because of the utmost respect for their head, Mr. Tahoe L. Kon, and because the youngster had the ownership of the place. Despite Ray's understandable embarrassment from a year ago, he had miserably failed to convince his employees to change the title given. And though Tania was the second-in-charge and held far more responsibility, she had very much succeeded from allowing any such credentials to fall before her name.

Falling back on the issue at hand, Tania once more looked at the clock uncertainly. It had been quite some time. Ray had walked through those doors close to nine-thirty and one look at his face had solved him out for her. She had easily seen through that tensed composed demeanor and what she saw scared her and scared her, a lot.

Ray had entered, rather late than his usual arriving time, forcing broken smiles at the greetings given and nodding uncomfortably at the mention of the spectacular service last night of The Deluxe at Czar. His hands were twitching, eyes shifty, and on a closer note, Tania could detect fine shivers raking his body. She knew more than well how disturbed the thoughts were behind that pale façade. And that 

was because only two weeks ago, she had seen Ray in a familiar condition when Ray had discovered Kai's picture from his old packing.

She had left her chores and went to him almost immediately. Last night events were to be discussed of course but it was apparent from his face that the appearance of his ex-lover during an engagement ceremony was not the only thing bothering him. He was hurt and in pain and Tania had no idea why. And when she tried to interrogate, Ray had discreetly made for his small office at the back and locked the door.

There seemed nothing else for her to do than give Ray some time before he was ready to tell her himself.

_And I gave him quite some time, _Tania thought.

"You know what?" She spoke to Akiko, "You're right. Here, fill this in for me. I better go and check on him."

"Good luck. I heard the chef that he had not answered a single inquiry, neither on phone nor through the door. It's like Master Ray is not even in there."

"Let's hope for the better." Tania muttered under her breath before coming around and marching to the back of the restaurant where the kitchens were.

In comparison with its chains of eateries and hotels, La Xian was a relatively smaller accommodation with a space enough to occupy seventy guests at a time, easily with comfort. The architect had done its best with the pillars and the walls and the interior, hence, bore the look of a five star place. The chairs and tables, clothed in neat linen cloth, bordered in emerald green and golden, and made of fine Koa wood and black wrought-iron. Each table was garnished with a purple orchid or a different seasonal flower in the middle while napkins in light gold were folded in artistically in their holders.

In far most corner, a step up than the rest of the floor, was a long bar, with a seating for twenty to thirty patrons. And just as the edge of the green marble of the bar counter ended, a large square cane window in the wall led to the tea and herbs shop. La Xian was the proud owner of more than eighty different flavors of tea with additional herbs to go with. Across this laid a beautiful black piano, glistening and polished. Surrounding the instrument, two feet below ground level, was a comfortable lounge, lodging expensive cherry wood couches and coffee tables.

Behind this settlement, veiled by a huge arrangement of flowers and traditional cane wood curtains, was the way leading to the kitchens and rest room, and consequently, the manager office. And truthfully, the supposedly hidden kitchenette was nothing less in terms of grandeur than the front of the restaurant it self.

Walking past the piano, Tania made a mental note to send out the shipment forms for the tea and herbs as soon as she had mailed the bills and the monthly progress report to Mr. Tahoe.

La Xian's financing and management operated like a machine and its buttons and work commands were pressed by proper officials in higher places. Tania and her colleagues, thus, had faced no serious problems ever since its inauguration. She was brainy and intellectual with economics as her major in college so supervising financing was easy for her. It was not much to say that she ran much of La Xian activities than Ray, who was considered to be more of a chief chef there.

Reaching the office door, Tania placed her hand on the knob and quietly turned.

It was locked.

She knew that. She had tried to break in an hour ago too.

"Ray…" She called softly but firmly, "Ray, open this door."

Like before, there was no response.

"Ray…come on, open this up. Please. "

"He won't." She turned sideways to a waiter who was at the night shift yesterday at Czar too. "We tried to ask him for breakfast and all and about Today's Special Menu too. Master Ray won't answer."

Tania ignored him as he walked into the kitchen. Of course the workers knew something had gone wrong yesterday night when Ray had fled through the evening. And then the news of him drowning was not kept mute either. How the news had not feasted on that juicy story; none of them knew. And they might not all be worried but they were slightly curious at Ray's peculiar behavior.

"Ray, I know you can hear me. Open this door or I swear I'll break in." She threatened in a low voice.

Silence…

"Ray!"

She was panicking and she knew it. She twisted the knob again and pushed against the door in vain but it was impossible to simply bring the door down.

"Ray, please."

Not receiving a reply. She turned around and went for the cashier machine. In less than a minute, she came back, holding the duplicate key that was kept in a locked drawer, and pushed it in the slot. Unlocking the door, she inhaled and slipped in the room, hoping for the worst.

* * *

He had heard her before too and now as well; her calls, pleading, threats, all of them. But he had not budge before and nor was he in any mood to do so now. Even as she entered through the door, he never raised his eyes to her. Ray had known she would eventually break in.

The office room was a rather small cubicle chamber, bearing no windows. A proper mahogany desk and office chair was placed on the wall opposite to the door with twin pictures of Chinese art in the behind. A tall ebonite lamp stood in the corner which was switched off. Next to the door was a bookcase, occupying the restaurants files, documents, menus, etc and facing it on the wall was a soft board with a few charts and small memos pinned to it. The office, unlike the restaurant, was carpeted and was surprisingly neat for such a busy and crammed place.

Minding the coat hanger on which she and Ray hung their jackets, Tania stared at her supposedly younger companion and felt a sudden rush of anxiety in her. Ray sat on the chair, knees drawn up with arms around it and stared mindlessly at the carpet below, blinking only a few times. Tania knew that posture; it was the same veneer she had become accustomed to two years ago when she and Ray first became friends. Whenever he was disturbed or mourning, he mourned alone in silence like this.

"Ray…" She called out, closing and locking the door. It took a second for her eyes to adjust in the darkness and she approached him like one does to a bleeding animal.

He did not respond in words but he knew she was aware that he acknowledged her presence there.

Crouching down next to him on the floor, Tania bore her eyes into his, "Chibi…?

The golden eyes flickered at that and Ray slowly looked at her. She was only allowed to call him that when they were alone and it was a gift to him from her when he confided his tale to her two years back. He remembered he had blushed and laughed at the nick name and asked her why him. She had grinned and said she always wanted a baby brother.

Tania placed her hand on his knee and softly insisted, "Chibi…talk to me."

_Talk to her about what,_ Ray thought. That's what he had been thinking about the whole morning. He didn't know. Where to start, what to say because for all he knew, his feelings were betrayed into typhoon of different conflicting sentiments in such little time that it was hard to cope with.

Kai's show up yesterday was a blow alright. And worse was the news of the engagement that had followed. But Lee's behavior, his act, was…there seemed no words to comprehend it.

_My body,_ He thought, _he wanted my body. Just like Kai, just like Voltaire…just like everyone…_

Tania gazed around feverishly in hopes of getting a hint on what was going on his mind. And a hint she did find. However, it wasn't the best of the surprise she had since last twenty-four hours either.

"What the…?" She took the small glass bottle from the desk and stared shockingly at the broken seal. Without pausing, she opened the cap and pulled out the four tablets on her palm, "Ray, it says there are supposed to be six tablets in it!"

Ray raised his head only to shift back into a tighter curl.

Tania gaped at the medications and then at Ray, "You're not supposed to take more than half at a time and for someone like you with a history of aneurysm! Ray…?"

Ray had a small stroke when he was fourteen. A blood vessel in brain broke and leaked a minute amount of blood causing blurred vision and head aches for a week. Nothing serious or something to be concerned about but with a faulty immune system as his, Tania would be damned not to be fearful.

"Ray this is 500 mg sleeping drugs made of barbiturate and morphine!"

"I know…" He whispered faintly.

"You know what? Do you even know what they could do to you? And you took two!"

Then she became unnaturally quiet. Ray raised his eyes at the sudden stop and knew that she had figured the situation out.

"Oh my god…" She mumbled and stared at the bottle, "Lee…? Ray…Did Lee…?"

He swallowed and turned away at her small gasp.

"But…why would he ever? He said he wouldn't give it to you. He knew it could be…fatal…"

As she completed her sentence, a realization hit her and froze her in chill. She looked at Ray who seemed to be avoiding her gaze and almost robotically turned his face back. The answer was in those moist eyes and it was then she realized what had gone last night. The tablets fell on the carpet as she got to her knees, eyes wide.

"Chibi…? Did he…?"

By then, tears had gathered in his eyes and Ray asked himself again what he had been asking since morning: How could Lee?

Tania didn't notice she was holding her breath as she gradually pulled Ray's collar away from his neck. What she saw coiled her insides and she stared with alarm at the tear stained face. And there wasn't just a single one, she found, Lee had left three marks! Three prominent bite marks!

"Oh Ray…" She breathed out and without being asked, embraced him tightly.

Ray broke down, clutching her back and silently crying, pouring his emotions out on her shoulder without a second thought.

Tania held him strongly and stared ahead in pure wonder. It was not disbelief, it was astonishment. Apart from hers and Lee's ups and downs, the only reason she was always wary of him was because of his uncanny possessiveness and obsession about Ray and his features. Hell the guy had boasted alone with her that Ray was his only and upon contradicting him, the Lion had drawn up fury of more than a domineering and jealous boyfriend. And that had always scared Tania that one day Lee might just forget about his and Ray's proper relationship and jump to somewhere Ray would never willingly agree to go.

Unfortunately, it had happened.

Ray cried for a long time and Tania did not stop him until he finally hiccupped and his tears subside. Hearing the ragged breathing, she closed her eyes and hushed him, "It is okay, chibi, let it all out."

Ray let go of her and pulled back to stare at her. He did not know what to say. He had thought he would never be able to face her if she knew the truth yet it was simple enough and it made him wondered why he never felt this kind of companionship towards Lee. They had been through so much…for so long…yet…

He confessed, "Tania, I don't know what to do." She wiped away the wet tracks but he beat her to it and sniffed somewhat angrily, "It's happening all too fast. It feels…it feels unreal, like a dream or something. Yesterday night…it seemed too…too-"

"Tell me about Kai."

"He's engaged!" He blurted out loudly than he had hoped as if bursting to shout out the lie. There was such forlorn in his eyes that it made Tania mentally cringe. "Tania, they were at the Deluxe for his engagement party. Hell if Tala wouldn't have seen…if he wouldn't have spotted me…"

"Hush, don't cry, Ray, just tell me everything."

And he told her; everything. He spoke of it, all of it. When he had seen Kai; how suddenly exhilarated he had been at first; how it was when he pushed the ring on that hand…the chase…the conversation…Kai's astonishment at his presence…Kai _hitting_ him…Lee's interruption…everything… And as he said with renewed tears, he felt another chapter of his life being written down; another twist; another tragedy. And when he reached the part where Lee was in his apartment, he broke down again, mumbling incoherently and sometimes with small bouts of anger and frustration.

"How could I not see it, Tania? Was I blind? He-he always…he had always been like that. I just gave him an open feast…just laid there…for him…"

He told about his waking up, his ghosts, Kai's ghosts and Lee! This time when he spoke of his former friend, it was in fear for his words rang out in his head as they lolled off his tongue. Those sly words…those dirty comments…those threats…

When he finished, he stared at her with terror evident in his eyes. He was panicked, "Tania… He said he'd come back for me. What if he does it again? He's mad! He-he wants me!"

All the time Tania had his hand firmly in hers and she squeezed it in urgency, speaking clearly, "He won't, Ray. He's not going to get you and you're not going to let him. Pull yourself together, chibi. Lee's insane, yes, but you're not and you're not going to let him turn you into one."

Ray shook his head, holding her as if she was his life line, "What if he…again…?"

"Don't think of it!"

Yet she was thinking about it. What if Lee really got Ray and forced him on again? There was no way to bring any third party in, she knew that. The situation was too tender. Lee could deny everything easily and besides, bringing it in the lime light would be worse for Ray and his family's repute.

"Come," She gently pulled him to stand, "Let's get you some lunch. There's no way he's going to be able to touch you in here and I know he won't."

"And…Kai…?"

Tania straightened his sweater to hide those love bites and looked him in the eye, "Kai won't hurt you again either Ray."

_Kai…_

Tania watched as sheen once more glossed those golden pools and bit her lip in apprehension. What did he ever do to deserve this fate?

* * *

Ray dried his face with the towel and dropping it in the waste rack; he gazed at the large mirror. He was wearing a simple dark green high neck and black pants. That was all. And yet he could hear _him_ making those lewd innuendos about his looks, his body. The neko-jin sighed and stepped out of the restroom.

'_You have always been a cock tease Ray and still are.'_

Upon Tania's persuasion, he had got down to work an hour ago. He had went down the kitchens, filling up the items for Today's Special, made the soup himself, checked out the food shipments and other things that needed to be reordered and tasted almost a dozen dishes over his last thirty minutes there. Now it was time to check the reception and the guests, as Tania had preplanned for him, before he can have lunch or tea as he liked.

There were about forty staff members in total working at La Xian and they worked in morning and evening shifts with ease. A team of eight chefs, Ray excluded, and ten assistant helpers made up the kitchen staff while there were twenty waiters with five trained receptionists amongst them. Most of the staff was only activate after six and in the morning hours, the noon was the somewhat hectic time only. Three chefs were bustling around in the doors behind him now and in the evening three more will be joining them.

Ray glanced at the time before going to the front of the restaurant. Passing greetings and customary pleasantries on his way to the guests, he reached the other side of the eatery which portioned from the main sitting with a neat brass chain. This section only opened six or for executives asking for more privacy. Stepping over the barrier, Ray glanced at the beautifully carved tables and the flower arrangement that hid the place from the customers' sight. Everything was in order.

This was also where he spent his time in the morning and almost everyone knew not to disturb him here. But this time, when he was about to sit in the noon sunlight coming from the large bay windows, Tania walked towards him.

"Ray, there's something you should know." She was holding her usual board with some leaves on it and the cordless phone, "Someone's been calling since nine in the morning. And it's rather strange?"

He frowned, "How come?"

"Well they call and simply don't speak. I thought it was a prank call but it started coming after almost every half hour so I asked the operator to put a trace to the caller. Funny part is whoever it is; they are clever enough not to prolong their 'conversation' for more than one minute."

"So they cannot be traced?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, you need to keep the call going for at least sixty seconds to get the trace you know."

Ray frowned again, "Aren't we getting the number on the screen?"

"No, they are probably calling from a public booth or something. But now, they talked or rather he talked."

"It's a guy?"

"It's a guy alright. He talked to Akiko fifteen minutes ago and he asked whether she could get him to the manager?"

"How do you know it's the same guy?" Ray asked, taking the cordless from her.

"Because he hung up at the fiftieth second," Tania explained. "I think you should answer this time, if he wants the manager that is."

"Yeah, fine."

"And another thing, I can't believe I haven't read it to you till now." She smiled holding out the daily magazine and opening it eagerly, "I called you here because of the review we got on last night. Listen to this-"

"Tania" He interrupted, "I'm not in mood. I'll read it later, okay?"

"But-"

He took the magazine from her and closed it, "Anything else?"

Tania made a face, "Yes, _sir_, I was hoping you'd sign these so I can mail them for new shipments. And here's the mail. Sort them out yourself since you're not doing much."

Ray rolled his eyes, taking the small pile thrust upon him, "We're running low on mud crabs and shark fins. Do you know that?"

"I'll give it a look." She turned to go and stopped, "Hey,"

"Hmm…?"

Tania gave him a small smile and a nod, "Just keep your self busy, chibi."

Ray didn't reply and turned his back on her. He looked at the road ahead of him, bicyclists, pedestrians, annoyed drivers rushing by, honking and beeping. In front of the window where he was standing, was an Italian designed courtyard with a dozen umbrellas and lawn chairs and smart round tables. Then came the concrete footpath and the road and on the other side of that road was five foot tall hedge beyond which was a large park.

He could make out the classic music from the other side of the restaurants and little sounds of chatting but nothing seemed much for his importance. He decided to open the newspaper when the cordless suddenly beeped.

Ray stared at the words 'No Number' on the blinking screen before inhaled deeply and pressed the answer button.

"Good afternoon. You have reached La Xian Restaurant. I'm Ray Kon. How may I help you, sir?" He greeted in the pleasant but usual reception tone which by then had become a completely monotonous exercise for him.

The sharp intake of breath startled him and Ray warily looked at the phone in his hand. But there was no reply whatsoever. So he dutifully repeated, this time a bit slowly,

"Good afternoon. You have reached La Xian. Can I help you?"

Still, there was no answer back but he could easily feel someone breathing on the other side.

"Hello? Is anybody there?" He kept up the one sided conversation, hoping for a whole minute to pass, "Sir, can you hear me?"

_The jerk won't speak up._ Ray glanced again at the phone before speaking softly once more,

"Hello? Would you please speak up?"

When no reply came again, he partially snapped,

"Well whoever this is, I would really appreciate if this prank stops here. If you have nothing to say, please don't bother disturbing the staff here again. It would be very much appreciated."

Bingo! The call had come over a minute.

"If that's all, I'll hang up now."

"_Ray…?"_

Ray dumbly stared ahead before it felt as if his lungs had collapsed and he was being buried alive. It took all of his will not to drop the phone as he gasped painfully, his mouth hanging open in shock. The magazine and few pages slipped from his numb grasp and landed on the floor with a thud as his body suddenly went cold.

"_Hey…"_

He backed away until his back hit the wall and leaned on it for some support as he heard that voice again. Heart thudding profusely and lungs unable to take in adequate amount of air, he gaped at the fallen pages, lips trembling slightly. It…it can't be…

"Kai…?" He choked.

Ray heard a shallow sigh. Whether it was remorseful or relieved, he didn't know. His legs gently gave away and he slid down, still somewhat shocked.

"_Hey…"_

Ray closed his eyes, tears ironically clinging to his lashes already. Was it just last night he heard that voice? Was it just last night when his lover spoke to him? Was it? It felt so long…so very long… Like years have simply flown by… So much…so much took place…

"_How are you, Ray?"_

Tables had turned. It was Ray who was now rendered speechless. He opened his eyes full of tears and felt a few escaping. He was crying again? Why? He didn't know. Kai's voice had just…just filled him…with so many, so many emotions… He tried biting his lip to silence himself but a sob escaped. His body slowly shook to gain some control but the floodgates had opened and Ray softly cried once more this morning.

"Kai…"

His gentle sniffs killed Kai and he clutched the receiver tightly to hold back his own sentiments. He remained silent as Ray took small breaths between the sobs, each time feeling a blunt knife carving his heart.

He couldn't help anymore so he spoke, his voice quavering a little, _"I missed you Ray…"_

"No…" Ray breathed, his words laced with sadness and tears, "No…not how I missed you Kai…"

"_Did you?"_

A loud truck just honked obnoxiously at some tourists, the noise carrying it self down the boulevard. Ray turned his attention back and fiercely dried his cheeks.

"_I saw you coming here in the morning Ray…"_ Kai kept going, _"You looked so handsome…"_

Ray's shoulders sagged and his eyes dimmed. Resting his head back on the wall, he closed his eyes to hear the Russian talk.

"_But you looked so sad…something died within you last night, Ray…"_ And Kai wondered whether that something was killed by his own hands.

Still, Ray did not response. For a first, he didn't know what to say and other than that, if he knew, he could not trust his voice to speak up through the tears.

Kai waited, wishing for the raven head to speak. But apart from his silent breathing, he heard nothing. Kai leant on the cabin's side looking across the road where an iota of humanity speeded in automobiles and on their legs. Going in for the catch, he finally said what he wanted to,

"_I want to meet you Ray."_

Eyes snapped opened and he gushed out, "Yes, please Kai, yes."

Ray swallowed, vision still slightly blurred. It was as if he had been waiting for this opportunity for the past three years! He just wasted it last night but now, he wasn't willing to let go of that chance. He wanted to meet his lover again without knowing why. He just needed to see Kai again even though he knew at the end, there would nothing more than a broken heart and painful smiles. Yet he did not mind that. Not as long as they could meet one last time again.

_There's so much…so much I need to tell him…about Lee…about everything…_

Kai closed his eyes at the answer, feeling a burning in his throat. Trying not to sound too eager, he said in no more than a whisper, _"Thank you…"_

Ray exhaled in a shudder, gaining his somewhat left composure, "Here?"

"_No,"_ Kai shook his head, once more looking ahead at the busy road, _"There's a private coffee shop at the corner from where your restaurant is."_

"I know the place." It was a tiny place owned by a retired old man on wheelchair and it was very cozy. Ray and Tania often went there. That settled, he put his next inquiry in words with a little hesitation, "…Now…?"

"_No, not now, Ray. I don't wish to hurt you any more…"_

Whether he was relating to the episode three years ago or his current dilemma, Ray was not sure but the unexpected confession left him slightly breathless. The bitter side of his mind though thought: _You already had done enough, haven't you?_ But Ray managed to keep that to himself and nodded, "When?"

"_Tomorrow at ten if that's okay with you?"_

"Its fine, Kai…" The name itself was a reminiscent to how much he used to love that person.

They fell into another silence and none of the two spoke for quite a while, just dwelling into each others presence. Ray let out a long sigh, feeling drained somehow. He had cried too much in too little time and the humor side of his wondered whether it was possible to black out because of crying too much.

"_Ray…"_

"Hmm…?"

"_You haven't checked your review or your mail yet." _

Ray sat straight and frowned on that statement for it was no question. For others it might just be a mere proclamation but he had known Kai well and he knew it when the bluenette ever hinted on anything.

Suddenly very much interested in the papers in his lap, he ignored the magazine and the bills and flipped cautiously through his mail. And he found what he was looking for; a manila envelope with slanting handwriting on it. It was addressed to R. Kon in golden ink and it was Kai's writing.

"What's this?" Ray asked but his fingers were already working on the sealing and pulling out a similar beige sheet of paper with similar writing in gold. And he almost dropped the sheet, "Kai…!"

The neko placed everything else on the floor and gazed with eyes wide opened at the page. He read the first line and the tears returned. It was as if someone from above was taunting him, hurting him. He had been emotionally drained; now he simply felt as if life itself had left him. Fate was not being fair with him. It was only some a person could handle in a day and now, Ray knew this would leave him with such a large amount of feelings that he would not be able to cope up.

He read the first paragraph again and furiously rubbed his eyes; his anger partially directed at his weakness and partially at Kai for doing this to him, "Kai…Kai, why this and…why now?"

A few crystal drops landed on the page, seeping into the material as every word, every sentence seeped into Ray's flesh and mind.

Kai stared at his black sneakers with eyes barely opened and in a small voice; he began softly, the words flowing out of his mouth with sheer perfection. And he sang, sang to Ray,

"…_I'm not a perfect person  
__There are many things I wish I didn't do…  
__But I continue learning  
__I never meant to do those things to you…  
__And so I have to say before I go  
__That I just want you to know…"_

Ray followed each word, aware that many of them were damp already, and had to close his eyes as the next stanza, woven in with a melodious hymn, was spoken out. It tore his hear open and he bled when his lover said,

"…_I've found a reason for me  
__To change who I used to be  
__A reason to start over new  
__And the reason is __**you**__…"_

"Kai-" He wanted to interrupt but the bluenette went; the magnificent bird not even breaking to take a breath in his lament,

"…_I'm sorry that I hurt you  
__It's something I must to live with everyday…  
__And all the pain I put you through  
__I wish that I could take it all away…  
__And be the one who catches all your tears  
__That's why I need you to hear…"_

It was all true. Kai composed it, and he composed it in his guilt. He meant each and every word he had written and that he sang then. He was sorry for what he did. He did wish to cleanse Ray of his pain. He wanted to be at his side when he cried. He meant that song very much and in his heart, Kai wished and prayed that Ray knew that too; that it was his personal way to express the long locked confessions, apologies and emotions.

Kai couldn't help it, his voice broke slightly,

"…_I-I found a reason for me  
__To change who I used to be  
__A reason to start over new  
__And the reason is you…"_

He wanted Kai to stop. If he could do that, then maybe Ray would succeed in gaining some self control over the body that racked in its frame now. His vision was hardly clear yet he never took his eyes off those stanzas for a mere second. He just wasn't able to. His mind could not take it much more but he just didn't have the strength to stop the magic spell that rang beautifully in his ears and soul now. No matter how much he had tried from the start, his boyfriend's voice had always mesmerized him to the point of complete hypnotism.

And now, reaching the grand finale, Kai closed his eyes and breathed out a confession that was pure and true in all its sincerity. And he wished that Ray would, perhaps one day, appreciate that,

"…_I found a reason to show  
__A side of me you didn't know  
__A reason for all that I do  
__And the reason is you…_

_And the reason is…you…"_

Ray waited for a moment and then clutching the page against his chest, buried his head in his drawn up knees, too drained to cry anymore and too emotional to even try. He was palpitating quietly, unable to take in enough air. Kai watched that pose and turned away from it, his own sole tears cascading down.

_Oh, Ray…my beautiful, beautiful Ray…_

"K-Kai…"

"_Yes…kitten…?" _

Ray hiccupped. It had been so long that he had heard that from his partner, so long. He endeavored and all the denial, all the inquiries, the accusations, the hurt, the pain, the lingering details, the explanations; he summed all that up in a single word and choked,

"Why?"

Kai sighed. He had hoped Ray wouldn't ask him that now. He had really hoped for that. Swallowing twice, he maneuvered the question in the other direction, _"Hush, kitten, not now, okay? Not now…"_

Stopping himself from protesting, Ray absent-mindedly nodded.

Seeing that, Kai partially smiled, _"Good…not get up and clean up. I don't think the staff would prefer seeing you like this…"_

"No, no they won't." He agreed and sighed, "Tomorrow then?"

"_If you promise…"_

Golden eyes blinked, "Promise what?"

"_Promise me that you won't cry till you meet me tomorrow…"_

Ray tried to smile at that, it was just that his lips won't work. "You know I can't do that." He whispered.

"_Please…?"_

"Does that mean anything to you, Kai?"

"_Perhaps…"_

"I…I will try…" He knew he could not promise that. Tears were a way to lessen the emotional stress. Ray knew he hardly held back his tears during his lifetime and after his first romance, he had always hoped that one day they would run out and the memories would fade.

Well, too late for that to happen.

"_I wonder…"_

Ray gathered his stuff, Kai's lyrics still at top, and gradually stood up, "What, Kai?"

"_I wonder if it would be too much to ask."_ Kai watched closely as his koi got to his feet, placing everything else than the page that he had sent to him aside on a table. The tanned face turned to the windows and inwardly, Kai almost gasped at the full display of handsome features.

"What?" Ray repeated, the heat of the sun feeling nice on his face.

"_A smile…?"_

Ray stared right ahead on the road and beyond and for a second Kai thought the neko had discovered him. But then he blinked; opening and closing his lips in hopes to respond. Kai could have easily predicted the facial expression yet he needed not to as they were right there in his sight.

"Are you…nearby…?" He asked with hesitancy apparent.

"…"

"Are you in the restaurant, Kai?" Now there was a hint of panic.

"…_No…"_

Ray kept his eyes on the road ahead and did not say anything else.

"_I'll see you around then,"_

"Yes, you will."

Kai fought an inner battle and then said it before he could stop the words, _"I love you, Ray."_ He waited for a reaction on the teen's face, but there came none. He waited but then spoke with a sigh, _"Bye."_

"Bye…Kai…"

They both remained silent for a while and Ray felt an urgency to say something but Kai ended the conversation with a click and the call ended.

Ray brought down the cordless phone and stared at it with mixed emotions. He hardly had time to think of the conversation when suddenly the phone rang again. Startled, he picked it up on the second ring, momentarily forgetting the customary greetings,

"Hello?"

"_Hello, this is the operator speaking. We have a trace on the caller you asked for."_ He spoke in a rushed voice, _"Sir, I'm afraid he's calling from the near-by calling booth across you place. Should I send some cops over?"_

"Uh no, that's not necessary."

"_Are you sure? Because-"_

"He's an old customer here and he had a little problem with the dialing and all. Nothing to be worried about, it's settled now. I'm sorry to have bothered you."

"_Oh, that's our job. If that's all…?"_

"Yes thank you and good afternoon." Ray clicked off the phone politely and once more paid attention to the roadside ahead.

Not knowing what came over him; he stared intently at the hedge on the other side and gave a small smile. It wasn't much but he did and smiled slightly. That done, he stared at the pages in his hands and sighing, he went back to the other side of the restaurant, his heart feeling somewhat light.

* * *

He had smiled.

Tala was right. It was worth a chance to take.

Kai silently sighed, watching through the glass of the booth as Ray turned and went back to the reception. His job here was done. Making sure his face bore no tear tracks; he straightened his attire and opened the door to walk out. All seemed fine for now. Now he had to seek out Tala for tomorrow's date with Ray and pray for things to turn out good.

Glancing for the last time at La Xian's spectacular view, the blue enigma turned away and blended away into the crowd of pedestrians.

What no one, not even the Russian, noted was the blue car standing at the alley's opening. The passenger's window slid down and a 9.0 mega pixel camera lens peeked out to take another couple of photographs of the two toned hair teen. Satisfied, the photographer closed the window and spoke to the person in the back seat,

"Will that be all?"

Delicate glossed lips parted, "Perfect,"

And the car drove off.

* * *

I so want to continue the chapter but if I try to follow my previous plan of completing this, this chapter will be at least thirty more pages long and you'll not get it before August end. My maternal uncle's engagement ceremony is coming on 26th now and I have a hell lot in my plate but don't worry, I'll start on the next chapter right this night.

And please people; spare me the confusion and the flames though I wouldn't mind any inquiry of course. Please read and review. I need all the motivation and inspiration I can get.

Please R&R.

Till next time,  
Neena


	5. Chapter 5

Hello folks. I'm furious at myself and will not blame you for hating me. I hate myself more than you do anyway. This chapter was supposed to be up on 10th of August, 2008 and yes, I'm serious. The time spent in between is…unexplainable and I'm not at a liberty to tell. What I would like to say is that the way this chapter was written, I hate it and you guys, **don't expect any update soon**. I'm sorry.

I read the last chapter and I can easily detect the wayward style in which I composed it. It didn't feel like I really typed all that. It wasn't my way. Anyway, upon Tarnished-Iota's POV, I've decided not to merge these two chapters. What I also forgot was to mention in the previous chapter the name of the song lyrics I used. So give it up for, _**'The Reason' by Hoobastank**_!!

The lyrics used here, in this chapter, are mentioned in the end, just to create a bit of a surprise.

Anyway, don't forget to Read and Review.

Enjoy!

* * *

_**Chapter No.5**_

* * *

Sun went down, taking with it the light that bestowed the green planet and giving way to shadows that etched to conquer. Birds nestled, creatures hid but the human nature, one of a kind, if not much, became even more ardent with the approaching of end of the day.

Similarly, the life with in the restaurant never ceased to increase. The staff members: on duty with their plates and hands full; while chefs concocted exotic banquets for the hungry customers behind those large metallic kitchen doors. Aromas were served as _hors d'oeuvre_ even before the arrival of the first appetizers and they filled up the big and small bellies alike, mounting the growing yearning for the delights and delicacies to appear quickly.

And he served amongst this pandemonium of humanity which in civil society was considered as feasting, or rather, dining.

Shaking his front hair out of his eyes, Ray smiled at the guests as he laid down a silver dish of _spaghetti alla carbonara_, a large Italian salad and a pear torte and bowed away politely. It was his stubbornness that had resulted in his Uncle appointing two Italian cooks in his kitchen team. The man swore his nephew did not grant him peace till it was done.

Walking back to the reception, he watched as new comers filled the eatery, the waiters leading them to the tables in a subtle manner. His eyes made out Tania, looking nothing less of a spectacular host in her fitting clothes, as she handed the menus and took out the orders. His gaze swept over the place and his mind wandered away.

Tania either was psychic or Ray gave her less credit on how well that girl knew him. He had appeared from behind the parting curtains from the executive area and she had known something had happened; again. Her eyes never left the lyrics Kai sent as Ray softly filled her with the phone conversation. The only time she glanced up was when the neko's voice broke slightly at the mention of the song his _koi_ had composed for him.

"I don't know, Ray. I don't know what to say."

That was what Tania said. She was not sure how to advise him. To tell him to go ahead with the date and ending up getting more hurt was not a pleasing option. But then again, to suggest not meeting Kai would never solve a piece in the emotional trauma Ray was experiencing.

And here he was; confused and uncertain once more. Truth to be told, his heart felt a heavy burden laid upon it whenever he thought of his lover. To meet Kai again would provide him a chance to settle things down maybe and finally, try to go on with his life with one less issue to carry. But the meeting would definitely also give way to the past memories and distrust to resurface eventually. How could he ever forget that his boyfriend had been engaged to marry? How could he ever forget how Kai betrayed him for Brooklyn?

_How can __**I**__ ever forget that I would never live my previous life again?_

There was no turning back, ever. Lee haunted him. He scared him and he crushed him. Yet he even provided him the will to go up and meet Kai. Why? Ray could not answer that to himself. At least he could never answer sincerely. Perhaps it was a matter of defiance to the Lion. Or maybe an urge to gain the support of the shoulder he lost so long ago?

_It doesn't matter now. I promised Kai I will meet him. I replied so eagerly that time. Why? Why did I ever do that? Shouldn't I have thought about it? Shouldn't I have given it a second thought, a deeper analysis?_

That was it. He did not. And he did not because his heart said so. At that moment his heart had spoken, not his mind. Ray now wondered; it was his damned heart that made him believe Kai and Brooklyn's affair never existed. It was his heart that forced him to trust so blindly in Kai. And it was his heart that remained shattered since the night he left Kai.

"Fuck this…" Ray mumbled under his breath, fighting the urge to punch something hard. Taking a moment to seize control over him self, he decided to return to the kitchens.

But that never came.

The teen was about to move when the doors of _La_ _Xian_ admitted two formidable looking men. Whether or not both had the same business, it was hard to tell. One of them stopped at the glass top magazine stand while the second one went straight for the reception. He was dark with narrow eyes and wore tourists' attire and red sun glasses. It did nothing to make him look less dangerous.

He mumbled something to the male receptionist who either took that customer without any apparent surprise or was very well trained not to express his personal sentiments. Nodding, the receptionist beckoned a waiter to show the man, strangely, to the lounge.

The large figure had not even taken a few steps when the man who had entered with him left the magazine stand and brushed past Ray towards the reception. Clad in leather jacket with a gold hoop in one ear, he was a bit less shocking than the first one though the eyes held the same dangerous streak. He conversed with the receptionist and after a few nods of agreement, went stealthily towards the bar.

Ray would have question discreetly about the two mighty fellows but right then, the doors once more opened and admitted another figure. He, however, was the type Ray had seen many a times.

The man was heavily built but in a dark business suit that matched him well despite his size. He wore black glasses, which were no doubt one way see through, and a grey coil ran behind his head with a small hearing device in the end that fitted in the man's right ear. He reached the reception and turned to give the restaurant a long calculating glance. Probably satisfied, he turned back to the man and spoke in a hard accented but deep voice,

"Table for two and in a corner, now,"

The receptionist gave Ray such a fleeting glimpse that could had been imagined before replying with a smile, "Certainly, sir."

The neko watched as Akiko came forward to escort the man but instead he remained stationary and pressing the earplug with an index finger, he mumbled something incoherent in his collar. That done, he went back to the doors and turned to face the restaurant, legs open and hands folded against the stomach.

Ray was familiar with this procedure. Quite often he had seen the secret service men arriving and handling the arrangements for their clients before going to a corner and standing guard like statues. What surprised him a bit was that this rarely ever happened at La Xian. Sure politicians, business tycoons, royalty were regular guests but they hardly brought security with them for _La_ _Xian_, in the evening, was usually a place for personal dinners rather than work-related affairs. What also remained a little peculiar was that such preparations always were handled beforehand. Ray had not been informed about any special guest by either Tania or any other.

He asked the receptionist, "Were we expecting them?"

"No Master Ray, I don't have any special bookings for 7 pm."

Walking behind the counter to check the booking register him self, Ray's gaze shifted to the door as it opened again and admitted a trim female figure. It stopped right at the entrance and the huge man bent to whisper in the delicate ear before escorting the lady to a suitable table near the huge bay windows.

Ray watched as she passed the reception and sweet scented oils and perfumes filled his senses. Though she was somewhat shorter than him, he could not judge her age for her face was completely shadowed by the hooded deep purple cape she wore. It covered her shoulders and whole back and trailed a foot behind like that for a princess. Underneath she wore a pearl white evening gown till her feet with a perfect seventeen-inch-waist.

A golden orb caught Tania's look and nodded towards this new visitor as she carefully took her seat. Dutifully, a waitress welcomed her and handed her the menu, making small talk but the girl dismissed her with a wave of manicured hand.

Shrugging it off, Ray turned about and went for the kitchens to serve the next order.

"Hey," Violet eyes clashed with his as he stopped, "You reckon she's from yesterday's Ball?"

"Probably," Ray sneaked a look at the still figure from behind a beautiful flower arrangement in the ornate vase, "Entertain her, will you?"

"I'll go when she's ready to order. I haven't seen her around this joint and I certainly didn't see her last night." Tania replied, scanning the area.

"Well, I think she's trying to catch your eye." Ray pointed out as the hidden face turned towards them. _Damn, she looks like a phantom._

The pianist played a soft melodious symphony as Tania walked over, her high hells clinking against the emerald marble. Ray watched the customary pleasantries taking place as both females talked. However, Tania never pulled out her pad to write down the order; instead she straightened up and looked at Ray and then back again to cloaked figure. Nodding at what ever she was told, she returned back to where Ray stood.

"Uh…would you be surprised if I'd tell you that she asked you to have dinner with her?" She spoke in a tentative way, scrutinizing his face for a reaction.

At any other time, Ray would have bet his right arm that Tania would had definitely made a quirking remark about how another girl had fallen over Ray. He rushed in his mind to come up with a way to handle this, "I guess I am surprised. But that doesn't matter. Do I look fine?"

Again, at another time, Tania would had given him her know-it-all look and replied with a tone dripping in sarcasm or in a fan girl's gushing tone at how handsome he looked. However now she only nodded, "You look great, chibi."

"That's what bothers me."

* * *

"Ray Kon…I have heard much about you."

The voice was soft like a breeze and if it had not been for his sensitive hearing, Ray would have definitely missed what she spoke.

"I'm afraid I'm not at a liberty to say the same, ma'am."

Sitting across that mysterious figure, Ray wore a smile and a calm façade of mild interest. The moment he had neared her, that alluring fragrance greatly filled his soul. She had the palest skin he had seen and it had an unearthly glow that seemed to outshine the angelic attire itself! Her head tilted downwards and eyes shadowed, Ray could have compared her with a fairy tale's princess in her dark silk hooded cape and white gown.

Initially hands clasped softly in her lap, she had leaned on the table towards him the moment he was seated. Now resting her right arm above her left, the neko noticed the delicate nimble hand, manicured at least twice a week, adorning a simple golden bracelet.

The pink glossed lips glistened from the chandelier's light from above with sheen of a pearl. They were the only feature visible on the face and they parted to let out that silky voice again,

"Delilah, the name is Delilah."

Ray waited, expecting her to continue with her surname but she unfolded her arms and picked the menu in a feathery touch.

"I assure you that my family did not rest till I conquered the pinnacle of all of my studies so trust me when I say that well-bred I am."

Smile turning to amusement, he wondered where this was leading to.

"But despite all my education," She raised her head only to let the light catch her eyes. And Ray sensed himself leaning closer towards her, partially to make out the quiet words and partially to take the chance provided to get a look at the girl's face. The soft shade of hazel met his gaze as she gave the tiniest of smiles, "I'm afraid I'm as much as an expert in China as a backstreet illiterate." She finished, handing him the menu without opening it.

Ray raised his hand with a shake, "Well, in that case, you don't need to worry about me. I'm well versed in everything that had been printed on these pages. I wrote them myself."

"Really now," Delilah purred, tentatively opening the red folder bearing the restaurant's insignia again, "Then I do hope that you'd participate in making some human sense with these dishes. China had always been a difficulty for me. It's rather alien."

"I expect nothing less from a Russian, ma'am."

Those eyes rose from the menu and scrutinized him closely, "Russian…?"

"Probably from some distant Tsar family and here on the trip with your father I suppose. You either attended the last night Ball at Czar's or your father had been at The Deluxe. You've lived in Moscow, likes to shop from there and probably from Dubai and Bangkok. Had the best home tutoring and can speak Spanish, no doubt. Of course, all I debated can be purely based on intuition but I have a strong hunch that I stand corrected." The honey pools twinkled as Ray ended with a tilt of the head and a smile.

The Soviet placed her right hand on her left and sat back, staring at him for a long, long time. Then, "You're amazing, Ray Kon."

"Thank you, ma'am,"

"Please, call me Delilah."

"Alright," Ray pointed at the menu, "Should I order for you?"

"Oh no need; I just need some expertise before I order up snake's shriveled skin or frog legs as appetizers." She replied smoothly. "Though, I give you full credit at your perception. It is very much guessed correctly and true."

"Again, I'd say it was instinct."

"I see," Her eyes latched on his again, "Do enlighten me how your 'instinct' was so well on target, Ray Kon?"

"It's Ray. And _La_ _Xian_ caters traditional and international food so I've been meeting different customers from different backgrounds and culture almost every hour from the past two years. It won't be much to claim that it trains you in reading people off their walk and body. And also, I'm very much acquainted with your accent if you don't mind me adding."

"Interesting; though I don't reckon you meet Soviets everyday here. So how are you familiar with Russian accent? Perhaps through someone you knew…?"

_You have no idea._ But outwardly, Ray only nodded.

Satisfied for now, Delilah spoke, skimming through the menu gradually, "Do you have, I'm not sure if I'm pronouncing it right, that coconut drink, _Chantal_?"

"You mean _Chendol_?" Ray corrected immediately, "It is made with coconut milk, coconut sugar and little pieces of gelatin."

"Yes, that. I would like you to have one with me now."

Ray glanced up and Akiko was at his side instantly. He ordered two drinks and _dim sum_, Chinese appetizers. He explained, "One of our restaurant chefs is renowned for the _Nonya_ style of food. That is a mixture of Chinese ingredients and Malay spices. No recipes have ever been written down."

She smiled. Taking her eyes off him and reading the menu again, both fell into another silence.

At the sidelines of his sight, Ray saw Tania looking at him and he easily read her gaze. Nodding only with the movement no one could had notice, he signaled her that all was fine. Watching her saunter away, he turned his attention back to Delilah.

_She is mysterious. In fact, she's too mysterious to sit here discuss Chinese cuisine with me. She came for a purpose…But what is that?_

He was experienced in customers enough to say that this young lady was no flirt. With a personal bodyguard and the suddenness of the whole scenario, there remained no doubt in Ray's mind that this meeting was not just a meaningless tête-à-tête. That girl held power in her aura and Ray was not shallow enough to think she would be attracted to him from his looks.

"What are you thinking?" The sudden inquiry made him glance up. The face was once again hidden under the shade of the cape but the lips were seen, "What is on your mind, Ray Kon?"

Ray shrugged with a smile, "Nothing much, ma'am." He could not bring himself to call her by her first name. Then again, she didn't either.

"Am I keeping you from something?"

"Oh not at all; it's a pleasure in fact."

"I am sure you say that to every other customer."

Ray raised one eyebrow, smiling still in amusement, "To be honest I do."

"Oh," She bent her head down for a moment before glancing up again, showing her eyes, "Is that so?" She smiled.

"Yes," Ray leaned in, "It's because it really is a pleasure meeting so many esteemed members of this global community everyday. It's rather entertaining."

The drinks arrived and Ray glanced at the brown liquid with lumps in it. It was something he was not fond of. The drink was unexceptionally sweet and Ray remembered describing the taste to Tania that after his first gulp, his taste buds were threatening to commit suicide. It was two years ago. Yet obediently he stirred it making sure his guest followed him. She brought the glass to her lips, barely touching the edge, and took a sip.

Ray would have liked to see her expression but it was quiet hidden when she commented, "It's…different."

"Indeed,"

"Tell me about yourself, Ray Kon."

The neko stopped for a moment's hesitation, rapidly thinking over the respond which he knew should be brief yet satisfying, "There's not much to tell about a country boy grown in the mountains, ma'am."

"Well, that's not what I heard and I'm very much interested so take your time."

Ray looked at her. "I wouldn't mind if you return the courtesy."

"Ah, _quid pro quo_ I assume?"

"Perhaps,"

The platters of _dim sum_ arrived and Akiko placed the chopsticks, one in each plate, and left, bowing.

"That's quite a bargain Ray Kon."

"In all sincerity, it's not much, ma'am. Please help yourself. They are excellent."

Delilah stared at the dumplings and then at the chopsticks. Raising her right, she deftly picked them up but did not separate them from their hold. When she did not move for a while, Ray took the hint and picked his own up, lightly snapping the two sticks apart. He watched her as she studied his skillful holding between the thumb and finger and did not look away till he picked one dumpling up and dropped it in his porcelain plate.

"My, I suppose I can use the fork?" Those pliant lips held a tiny smile as the Russian placed the chopsticks back but instead of picking any cutlery, she stared intently at Ray as he easily broke the dumpling in half and continued in placing it in his mouth.

"It's pretty easy if you get the hang of it."

"Well, I'm sure Kai can do it." She purred dreamily.

The pianist never stopped in his play though at that table, silence became deadening.

Ray felt his inside contract and he was just able to keep himself from choking, "Ex-excuse me?" He coughed; eyes wide.

"Oh…I said I'm sure my _fiancé_ can do it."

And that's when she actually looked up, her face visible in the chandelier's light. Beforehand, Ray would have been lying if he said that he had seen any face more beautiful than hers. But now, the shock of the revelation left him speechless.

"Didn't I mention it, _Ray_?" She purposely brought her left hand up this time and it was the first instance Ray noted the silver pearl ring on her third finger. It was the same he had seen yesterday night when he had found Kai at the Ball after three long years.

How could he have not noticed!

Golden eyes looked up to that pretty heart-shaped face, the solemn cheek bones noticeable under those glamorous hazel orbs, staring at her with fearsome apprehension for the first time in the evening. The same eyes now bearing a hard cold stare and the stare that was directed to him.

"I'm engaged-to-be-married to _Kai Hiwatari_, your dear old sweetheart!" Those lips looked no longer soft and inviting instead now they were curled in furious snarl as Delilah let out the words, one by one, dripping in venom.

Stunned beyond reason, Ray felt his heart convulse painfully in its cage as the female in front of him raised her hands to her hood and pulled the cape off to reveal her blonde head.

Many things happened at once.

A shrill ring rang through the restaurant and the guests and staff alike jumped as the fire bell itself screamed danger. Cries, yells and screams filled the atmosphere as the small water hoses installed in the ceiling turned on and started spraying ample amount of rain on everyone in the house. Ray watched with lips parted as people pulled back their seats and rushed for the fire exit, some taking refuge under their shawls and coats while running.

In all the havoc, three men moved opposite to the frenzied crowd. The man in the tourist's attire, who had been sitting and reading the latest article of _Beijing Today_ in the lounge stood up, throwing the red cover magazine on the floor. The thug in leather and a hoop in ear took off from his stool at the bar. And the agent standing erect like a statue near the wall pushed off, intent on joining his client.

Ray could only sit and stare as that tourist person started shouting with the crowd in Chinese, pointing and directing the herd to the exit swiftly and expertly. The other man in black took the handling of the staff that was in the way of the kitchen and ushered them outside to safety as quickly as possible. And with in a second's record, the guard was at their table, gun out and ready.

Shocked and truthfully scared, Ray made to stand through the drizzle but the agent quickly pointed his .38 revolver at him, freezing him to the spot effectively.

"Sit down Ray, this is just an appetizer." Delilah said silkily, a wicked glaze in her eyes as she looked at him from under her curled dark lashes. Her hairdo, which was fine-looking and attractive in all its simplicity, now hung against the glowing frame of her face yet it did not hamper her beauty. Though completely drenched with her gown and cape sticking close to her perfect figure, she looked like she was home, her bare elbows standing on the table and her chin resting on her hands.

Fear poured in his heart like the water escaping a broken dam wall. Finding no escape whatsoever, he took his seat, staring from the gun to the blonde with wide eyes.

"Ray!"

Drops of water flew every where from the tips of raven bangs as the neko's head whipped towards the shout. Tania had broken out from the tide of hysterical guests and waiters and was rushing towards him, looking rather shocked that her friend had yet to move while almost the entire restaurant had ran out.

Ray helplessly watched as the man in black locked the kitchen doors and pushed an iron chair against it. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as the thug pulled out a sleek black pistol from his breast pocket and with long strides reached Tania. Ray gasped as the man grabbed her arm and wrench her back as she rushed to their table. Clutching her in a tight grip, he shoved the muzzle of the silencer against her neck while snaking an arm across her waist.

"What the…!! Let go of her!" Ray shouted but did not get far as the tourist guy, after driving everyone out, turned to him, gun ready in both of his hands.

Heart thudding painfully, Ray breathed without a sound, all voice caught excruciatingly in his throat. He now glanced one by one at the five people remaining in the whole eatery and the gravity of the situation hit him. Three hoodlums with three guns pointing at him and Tania and their boss sitting comfortably across him; he wondered how they were going to get out of there unhurt.

Swallowing a couple of times, he gradually turned to the blonde female next to him. Except for the smug glint in her eyes, she looked rather somber, "What-what do you want Delilah?"

"It's Miss Vaclav to you, sir." She spoke in her velvety voice, the shower from the hoses finally dying down.

Even the single of the droplets that now fell to the marble floor sounded, to Ray, like the ringing of a large metal gong for the silence and tension in the room pressed heavily against him, begging to rip his soul apart from the pressure.

"You said you wanted to know about me, Ray." Delilah Vaclav commented, "So are you still interested in listening?"

He never responded as his eyes were locked at Tania's white face. Her arms were caught behind her and she stayed on her knees with the gun in her neck as she kept staring at Delilah in terror. She was terrified. And expectedly, so was Ray.

"The Vaclav dynasty and the Hiwatari dynasty are the lineages belonging to ancient Tsars of Russia. Our forefathers, all the way down the history, were men of nobility, honor and status. Honor was our platform, our luggage pride and our train was success. And we rode each track and arrived at every platform, pride, honor never misplaced and success always waiting there for us." She leaned in towards him, "Those were our ancestors and the generations to come afterwards never took a path misleading to the one laid down. With such a track, two such families are bound to become acquainted, Ray Kon.

"Lord Voltaire Hiwatari, I'm sure you came across that name a couple of time, correct?" She smirked slightly and Ray fisted his shaking hand under the table, "My father and Lord Voltaire had been fellows for years, falling into mutual partnership at times while expanding their Empires. The apex of the story starts from here, Ray. Shall I proceed?"

_The fire brigade would be here soon. This girl would not dare leave any evidence of her work here so all I need to do is wait her out. She won't hurt Tania, not purposefully anyway._ Ray sent a prayer to heavens and nodded slowly as if any sudden movements might alarm her.

"A year ago, Lord Voltaire arrived at our castle and asked for my elder sister, Lady Nikki, to be wedded to his grandson, the famous Kai Hiwatari." Ray tensed up noticeably at the candid way she spoke in. "Arrangements and planning started but I'm afraid my sis got caught up in a terrible, terrible accident. What a pity, she would have made a wonderful wife."

"I don't get-"

"I had loved Kai since my childhood, Ray; even before you began to read. A little engagement was not going to ruin my fantasy. I acted then and look where it landed me. I'm the happy bride-to-be-wed of the Master phoenix of the Hiwatari Circle himself." The hazel eyes twinkled evilly as she smiled and picked up the pair of chopsticks.

Ray could not bring himself to even blink as she separated the sticks and held them perfectly in her right hand. His eyes dimmed and narrowed as she expertly picked a damp dumpling and squeezed it in half without even glancing at it.

"Kai and I are engaged now, Ray Kon. I worked very hard for a long time to see that no obstacle stand in my way. And a three year old crush with a whore is not something I'm going to lose to!"

The chopsticks landed with a clatter in the white dish as she threw them at him. She stood up, her drenched cape falling behind her to the wet floor.

"Listen to me and listen well, Ray Kon," He got to his feet as she neared him, "You lost someone near to you long ago. Well here's a piece of advice you should grab," She pointed at Tania, "Do not try to lose the ones left in your bleak life any more."

"Is that why you came?" Ray spoke in nothing more than a whisper.

"No, I came here to give you some news, Ray." She held up her left hand close to his face, the pearl ring almost touching his nose, "Kai belongs to me and I am going to see to it that it remains the way it is forever. Do not try to interfere if not for her, then for your lover's sake. I have my brothers and my, my, they do not approve anyone hurting their baby sister, Ray. My words are clear; take caution and leave Kai alone!"

_Leave Kai alone…?_

He searched those hazel eyes now no more than a foot away from his face and he did not need to think twice about the threats. She meant business; it was written all over her.

Ray spoke, his voice low but clear so that only Delilah could hear, "Kai has been alone all his life, Miss Vaclav, and being married to someone as yourself is never going to cure that."

Delilah remained impassive and searching, not showing what she was trying to find within his orbs. But when her search came up with nothing, she tilted her head, "Its Mrs. Hiwatari to you, Ray Kon."

"Not now, not ever…Delilah…"

Surprisingly, the girl smiled. It was only a tell tale curve but it was there and it was a genuine one.

Ray did not fall back nor did he move when she stepped forward, her perfect bosom brushing against his chest, their noses inches apart,

"You are very handsome, Ray Kon." She purred a whisper, "You can have anyone you want. You need someone who truly loves and cares about you, darling, not some fling who would leave the second they lay their eyes on some other pretty head."

Golden eyes widened and coldness seeped in his limbs. Just how much this girl knew about him and Kai?

Delilah placed a soft hand on his cheek, feeling the tense yet smooth skin underneath, "Stop living a faggot's life Ray and I might send you a post card of our honeymoon."

The blonde moved forward, closed the gap between their lips and kissed.

Sirens rang out across the boulevard and the ringing of bells indicated the fire brigade was nearby. Pedestrians jumped away as the speeding truck and police cars rushed down the road, the red and blue lights signaling urgency and frenzy. In La Xian however, the kiss broke and Delilah stepped back, pulling the cape on her head again, looking at the neko with an amused glint in those eyes which were still visible underneath.

"This meeting never took place, Ray Kon. We never met here."

She nodded at her hoodlums and they pulled back immediately. The distant sirens were sounding very nearby and two of the thugs ran out, one of them after purposefully pushing Tania down hard. The moment her head even met the stone marble, they were out in the streets, blending in the crowd of apprehensive guests and staff alike.

Delilah followed them, her stride perfect and proud, her body guard falling in her shadow like a watch dog with pistol still out. She stopped at the entrance door and looked back straight into those honey pools which had not missed her single movement,

"I pray that the next time I come here, I would get a chance to enjoy the meal and not to cause you more misery, Ray Kon. It really was a productive evening. I wish you well." She bowed her head elegantly and blowing a kiss from the tips of her fingers, she turned and went out.

* * *

Three men in fire fighting gears rushed through the entrance, one holding an axe, the other a giant water hose. The chief spoke rapidly, shouting out instructions but his instinct told him something else. There was no smoke, no visible sign of fire. His eyes scanned the eatery, noting immediately that it was empty with the sole exception of two: a violet haired girl and a neko-jin. Pointing his second-in-command to rush to the cellar and the basement, he ran towards the two.

"Sir, miss!" He shouted but neither responded. The raven head, which seemed in his late teens, had his wide stare glued to the floor. He searched him for any bruises or burns and even prodded him but the boy did not move. Exasperatedly, he turned to the girl who happened to be on her knees, the palms of her hands against the wet tiles below, "Miss, are you okay?"

Tania finally looked up at that old wizened face of the man and could not stop her head from swaying.

The fire fighter bit his lower lip, and putting down his axe, squatted down to help the girl up, "Here, its okay. We've got things control." She refused to aid him and it felt like pulling up a puppet, "Miss, come on, I'll bring you out!"

Dark eyes focused and unfocused and then Tania turned to man next to her, trying to force her to stand. Suddenly waking up, she fervently shook her head and scrambled up to her feet, her arms and neck feeling rather sore.

The chief watched as the hose was grabbed by two new comers and hauled towards the kitchen doors near which the basement entrance was located. They had probably located the source of fire. He, on the other hand, needed to vacate the restaurant.

"Let me take you out miss, we've got it all under control."

"I think…" Her voice seemed so cracked. Swallowing, Tania picked herself up, her nerves still shaken, "I think it was a false alarm."

"What-?"

"It was a false alarm. You can check the restaurant out for your surety but I don't think the threats are fatal."

The man gave her a skeptical look, wanting to ask more but instead, "Very well, we'll see to it. Meanwhile, it could be dangerous, please leave now."

Tania nodded and watched the old man rush away. The water sprinklers in the ceiling had drenched the whole place! But there were none installed in the floor beneath yet and she dreaded the consequences if there really were a fire. Taking in a deep breath, she massaged her arms and winced as she looked down. Red finger marks were imprinted on both of her forearms and she could feel a bruise forming on her neck where the muzzle of the silencer was pressed in.

Shaking and gulping, she hid her face with both hands and exhaled out, "God help us…!"

She stayed like that for some minutes, listening to the men's shouting but not actually giving it any heed. Finally getting her shivering under control, she peered through her fingers right next to her.

Tania was not sure whether Ray's absence surprised her or not. She brought her hands down and stared at the spot where Delilah and Ray had stood and she could see that blonde advancing toward him and suddenly kissing him on the lips. Forcing the mental image to go away, she sadly looked at the swinging door.

_Ray…_

The platter of _dim sums_ now remained cold, wet and forgotten; the chandelier's light above them reflecting in the water droplets on them. It was the same light that had reflected in the soft hazel orbs…

* * *

With the thunder cracking explosive silver fireworks in the murky dark sky, to a peeping tom, the large gym would seem nothing much but entirely deserted. However, the sounds created by the air friction against flesh as it was punched forward and backwards came as wild whooshes of wind which one might mistook for bad weather outside.

The place was large enough. In fact it was too big than necessary to practice _t'ai chi chuan_, the centuries old martial arts taught to warriors for preparation of eventual combat. The exercises required little space and they used every muscle of the body. That was why Ray had confined himself in the small square space, the lines of which were drawn in his minds. His feet intuitionally did not allow themselves to step out of the boundary as they pranced on the blue mats beneath.

The neko-jin went through the opening moves, his eyes never opened.

_Grasp the bird's tail, become the white stork, repulse the monkey, face the tiger…_

Each movement had a name and significance. He had started off with the militant _Punching_ _the_ _Demons_ then into the softer _Gathering the Light_. The movements were accurate and graceful, done with slow fluid motions. Every gesture came for _tan tien_, the psychic centre, and each move was performed in a circle.

Ray could hear their sensei's voice filling his head till there remained no other thought than that to concentrate and remain focus: _'Arouse your chi, Ray, your vital energy. It starts heavy as a mountain and becomes light as a bird's feather…'_

He could feel it. He could feel the _chi_ flowing through the tips of his fingers, seeping down to every cell of body and travelling back to the very pores of his flesh. And so he moved, in a timeless pattern, eyes still veiled and mind meditating upon the shores of lazy oceanic waves, relaxing each nerve till nothing but the sounds of tidal waves crashing conquered his hearing and till he felt no more than the spray of cool salty water upon his skin.

_Let your hands become the clouds and circulate the water of life. Let the white snake creep down and ride the tiger…_

The thunder no longer mattered nor did the contrast silence of the gym. No one disturbed the fighter who battled against his demons, the only sounds to world being the one of air against flesh as it flowed like tendrils of crimson ribbons in virgin water.

_Shoot the tiger, gather your chi, and go back to tan tien, the centre._

The whole cycle took an hour and by the time he performed his ending move, Ray was noticeably exhausted. He was not satisfied though. His body had not cooperated with his mind. His limbs were stiff. With the lack of practice and exercise on regular basis, Ray was unable to taste the serenity that flowed afterwards _t'ai chi chuan_.

_Or perhaps my body did cooperate but my mind refused to be deceived._

Maybe so; maybe his thoughts were the villain here and why not with the events that kept enfolding in his life.

"Buddha, help me…" The pray left his lips as Ray put on protective gloves from the glass cabinet; choosing his favorite fingerless black ones.

Stretching his shoulder blades, Ray neared the 300 pounds punching bag, hooked heavily and still to the wooden ceiling above. Putting on a determined face, he launched out without another second, his punch landing accurately in the middle and causing the obstacle to sway dangerously in a slight arc.

_Usually I meditate…why do I feel the need to exhaust myself to death?_

That was what he had asked himself before as well while entering the sports complex but somehow the urge to vent out some steam obscured his sight and now he stood in the centrally heated wooden chamber, shirtless and beating the stuffing out of a bag.

Random troubled thoughts rushed through his mind and he did not know which one to assess, which one to be worried about, which one to be sad about…

Tala_…'Ray, stop this!'_

Kai…_'Do you really think I came off untouched all these years? Can you for a second, so inconsiderately, think that I enjoyed life to the full?'_

Lee_…'Dare put a finger on him and I swear I'll cut it off Hiwatari!'_

His lover…ex-lover…_'Ray, come with me.'_

So many lies, so many betrayals…who to trust…who to doubt…

But through all that, a single voice from three years ago came. And it was so clear from the other reminiscent of past that it stood out till it had invaded every iota of sense in him,

_'……Are you going to leave me? ……Are you going to leave me? ……Are you going to leave me? ……Are you going to leave me?'_

Ray punched hardly into the leather as the echo refused to stop but even he had no power to control the tear that rolled out from his eye, cascading down a tan cheek and mixing with the tiny droplets of perspiration that cling to his face.

The memories never ceased and he remembered his younger self speaking to his boyfriend in a small helpless whisper,

_'I don't want you to go…I don't want anyone to leave me again…'_

Kai had replied so confidently, so assured of his self, _'No one is ever going to leave you, Ray.'_

_'Everyone eventually does. First my father, then mom…then Mariah…'_

That voice, that voice that always held such promise, such truth, such sincerity, _'I will never leave you, Ray. You know that……I won't leave you. Nothing's going to keep us away from each other. I promise…'_

Those were all lies…nothing but lies…spoken only for momentary comfort and then left to crush faith and belief to shards in the long run…all lies…

Ray stopped but only for a second. And that too to furiously wipe the tears that escaped his eye lids. A memory planted itself in his mind and it was as clear as the day it happened. He had always known that this figment of past will never leave him till his death…it was so long ago…yet ironically, just like yesterday…

* * *

_**Flashback**_

The cheery obese bus driver pulled at the lever to shut the bus doors before turning to wave back and driving off in the huge yellow vehicle. The kid returned the wave as enthusiastically as the adult before spinning on his heels and running through the majestic lawns that encircled his home. The spring blossoms bloomed on each plum tree, the clear water in the pond reflecting their softening beauty perfectly. The child traced back the stone steps and without knocking, opened the dark oak door.

Turning the golden handle back, the five year old stepped into a wide wooden hallway, the house structure being akin to that of a traditional Chinese dwelling. Taking off his shoes in visible excitement, he placed them in a corner before struggling with his white socks. After many tugs and pulls from those tiny hands, the young boy grinned in triumph and school bag still lodged on shoulders; he pushed up to rush towards the kitchen.

Only, baby Ray stopped, turned back, and squealed in delight. How could he have not noticed! Next to his small shoes and his mother's delicate lotus sandals, another large pair rested in the carpeted rack. That only meant,

"Uncle Xi is here!"

Golden eyes shimmering with renewed happiness, he dropped his little bag and skipped towards the kitchen again. But once more, he stopped in his charade in the middle of the hallway.

"Good afternoon, papa! I'm home!"

To an outsider, the kid seemed to be speaking to none or maybe to the wooden paneled wall. But in honesty, the little boy just paused to greet a portrait of a handsome man that hung there. The proud male was in his mid thirties, extremely handsome with a pointed chin and enigmatic golden eyes. Deep raven hair were combed back into a looped bun shone with a silver tinge as Shang Lee Kon sat in the frame with a sensational aura of accomplishment and nobility.

Ray's eyes went from the sword held in the right hand to the platinum ring in the left and then travelled upwards from the strong chest to the loop in one of the pointy ears and finally to the face.

"Papa uncle Xian is here! Did he greet you?" Ray shook his head. No matter how nice his school day was and no matter how excited he was right then, he should address his father with adequate protocol and dignity. That's what Nana always taught him.

"I'm growing up, sir," He stood straight in front of the image, puffing out his small chest and looking directly into the eyes he had inherited, "And I'm learning a lot at school too! We finished making small sentences today! My teacher says I'm very bright, papa! And I almost forgot to show you what I made!"

He scrambled down to his bag to retrieve a carefully folded paper and stood back, holding it upright with both of his hands. Smiling shyly at his father's portrait, Ray spoke, "I made this for mama, papa. Miss says I've got…uh…I've got artist germs in myself! I thought it was a bad thing but she says it's very good and I can become a good young artist one day! She says it's in my…my j-jeans! I told her I always wore trousers but she only laughed."

The boy held up the pencil sketch for a few more moments before glancing down at it himself. A kind of hesitancy entered his demeanor and he questioned the picture in a low tentative voice, "Papa…do you think…do you think that may be…may be mama would like this?"

He stole a look at the man's face before looking at his feet again in an uncertain manner, "I hope she does…I really want to tell her I missed her loads this time." Ray looked up again, "Papa, why does mama keep going away for long trips? She hardly comes home. I like Nana, you know I do. But…" He peeked left and right to check if his Nana wasn't actually coming before whispering hurriedly, "But Nana snores too loudly at night and she just isn't mama. Nana loves me a lot but papa, mama is never there!"

Ray let out a frustrated childish sigh, lips automatically pursing out in a pout, "Mama sometimes…papa, mama sometimes…she, she just doesn't like me, papa." The child looked around once more for privacy before confiding in the portrait what he said almost every other week, "I know my mama is a busy woman but papa, she never comes to my school and she didn't even come to see me perform last week!"

Rubbing a small fist in his eye, the raven head sniffed a bit, "Mama kisses me good night only when I ask and when I tell her I love her, she sometimes get annoy and only sometimes answer me. Why papa? Did I do something wrong? I always try to please her papa, I always do so, sir, but she never really likes me…it hurts me papa…it really does…"

The five year old tried suppressing the tremors that shook his little frame before mentally scolding himself for behaving so childishly in front of his father. Fingering the end curls of his shoulder length black ponytail, Ray spoke shyly once more, "She…she loves you though. Papa, mama loves you a lot! I…I even see her cry at night sometimes. She really, really loved you. You shouldn't have been so careless." The raven head pointed a tiny finger at the portrait in a scolding manner, "Mama always says that she warned you but you didn't listen to her! You should have. I **always** listen to mama and see; I'm the best in my class!"

He thumped a small fist on his chest and then continued heroically, "One day I'll be as big man as you papa. I'll have my hotels in the whole wide world and mama will be so proud of me! I'll make sure of that! One day…one day when I've all grown up, I'll come back and show you how…ho-honorable…and respectful I've become and you will be proud of me, papa!"

He bowed dutifully down till his navel, his ponytail swinging, before looking up with a fanged smile. He was going to make his papa and mama so proud of him. With such a promise, he smoothened out the edges of his sketch and stare at it for a while.

The fawn page had a rough pencil imprint of a blossom's tree and a small pond next to it. In the left bottom corner, broken Chinese in a child's handwriting was scribbled in form of a small message.

Pleased at himself, Ray finally made his way to the kitchen and immediately cheered at the colored pastries resting in a covered porcelain plate on the counter. Nana had made him treats! Running to the sink to wash his hands because Nana would be cross if he did not clean the dirt from the school, Ray helped his stomach to two of the delicacies before quickly grabbing a moon-cake.

Though his Nana always told him to finish eating in the kitchen and not to take any crumbs to the lounge, Ray could not help it and after quickly devouring the two pastries, he rushed towards the sliding door that was adjourned to the den. Uncle Xian had been gone to Europe for three months! He must have brought Ray presents!

The crash of China meeting the glass however froze him in his footsteps and Ray halted in pulling the door just in time. The muffled voices arguing loudly came from the lounge and curious and somewhat dreading the scenario, the child opened the door and slid quietly inside. Crawling behind a cane sofa, golden eyes widened at the broken pieces of the golden vase and mirror on the floor before fearfully looking at the two adult occupants of the room.

"For God's sakes Chun-Li, I did not come here for this!"

"Then what did you come here for Xian! You know I wanted to get over this and you and your wretched brother, Tahoe, run off to Europe for vacation!"

Ray gasped but the sound fell to deaf ears in such racket. His mother never swore! And she had neither spoken ill of his uncles ever!

"I told you it was not unplanned! You know very well as I do that the inauguration of The Deluxe at Las Vegas was to be taken place! Both of us had to be there!"

Almond shaped chocolate eyes narrowed dangerously and the Chun-Li Kon bristled in her beautiful silk kimono. Knee long purple hair, bond in a loose high bun, cascaded down the perfect model's body like waterfall at night and even with the white porcelain skin flushed pink with anger, the lady was nothing but an epitome of beauty. The front lighter tresses reached the wide sleeves as a nimble hand rose to brush away the hair from the forehead.

"Never mind, Xian, I simply called you to let you know I've made my decision."

Ray watched biting his lip in apprehension as his paternal uncle narrowed his yellow eyes in fury. He had seen his uncle and mother argue many times before but never this fiercely that they had to raise their voices and break decorations.

"I'm warning you Chun-Li, I'm not in mood for this!"

"I don't care! I've thought long and hard about this and nothing reasonable comes to my mind than this-"

The man growled, "Chun-Li-"

"Listen to me, Xian-"

"No!" Ray jumped before cowering in the corner again as his uncle stepped menacingly towards his mother, "You listen! Ever since Chang's death, that's all I've been getting out of you! You know the family is and has always been ready to support you! You know everything; everything Chang owned has been willingly labeled under you and only you! You've got everything you could ever ask for and yet-!"

"Don't you dare degrade me into assuming I married Chang because of money, Xian! I am very capable in earning a well life for myself!"

"No, you married him because of love, did you not?" Xian sneered.

"Yes! I married him because I loved him! I married him because he could give me the most cherished thing in the universe; love! But most importantly, I married Chang, not his _**brat**_!"

Coldness seeped in his heart so quickly and painfully that Ray almost choked in suffocation.

His mother stared at his uncle, tears continuously falling from her eyes while the man only buried his face in his hands, eyes closed as if in some deep trauma of indecisiveness.

Chun-Li, however kept up her speech, unaware of the hurt her son was going through, "My fashion career started only two years ago! And I'm just twenty-four, Xian! The reason I agreed on nurturing his baby was because both of us will be here to take care of it! I never wanted to enter motherhood so early and so alone! This wasn't-"

"Chang did not die with his own will either, Chun-Li! It was not in his hands for God's sake!"

"Well this is in my hands and I've decided!"

"Chun-Li don't do this!"

The lady took a deep breath and spoke in a disturbingly calm voice, "I'm going to disown Ray and move from China tonight. I leave him in your hands along with everything written in Chang's will for me. I don't need the money and I'll only be taking some of the things precious to both Chang and me. You'll find my final statement and documents in the locker and my contact number there too. This was why I called you here today and I hope you'll respect my decision enough not to raise more difficulties for me."

Ray's world came crashing down and this time he could not stop his cries.

Xian was the first one to hear the small sobs and his heart shrank with dread. Hoping and praying that it was not who he thought was, he turned sharply towards the piece of furniture and with long graceful strides, pushed it aside to reveal the corner hiding place.

The shock still did not refuse to lessen, "Ray!"

The man clenched his eyes shut as a deep sorrow washed over him and turned back angrily towards the stunned woman. Chun-Li might not have planned to break it to her son like this so it was a blow hard to recover from.

Ray watched the surprise on his mother's face after his exposure and could not help the tears that rushed down his face now. He did not even protest when his uncle quickly scooped him up in his strong arms, caressing his head and back but it was nothing to ease the pain.

His mother…mama…mama was going to leave him. Did he do something wrong? Was his mama angry at him? He had made sure never to annoy his mama then why was she leaving him? He had always tried to be a good boy, always ready to obey her every command. He was sure he did not ever make his mama mad at him? So why…why was mama leaving him? Why didn't she want him?

"Mama…" He choked, his tears obscuring his sight, "M-mama…mama I'm sorry!" He gushed, suddenly in panic and fear. He could not lose his mama. He could not live without her, "Mama, I didn't mean to be bad! I'm sorry if I made you angry! Please mama, please! Please don't leave me!"

He tried to get down, tried to reach for her, hoping that she will forgive him of his misdeeds but his uncle only pushed his head deeper into his black dress and rotated so that he would face the wall rather than his mother. But Ray could not possibly bear that and twisted in the grasp until he was freed and then rushed to his mother.

Whatever emotions she was feeling, Chun-Li wore a perfect disguise to hide them. She did not even flinch when two small hands grabbed the end of her silk kimono and instead, looked away from her child near her feet. She had made her decision. Whether she had planned on telling Ray or not, she was not going to be dissuaded by this sudden change in plans.

Ray watched her mother turn away from him and tightened his hold on her dress. His mind was in a feverish turmoil. From day one, his mother had kept her distance from him, never being caring and loving like the other moms of his school fellows. She was a woman with a title 'mother' and that was all she was; someone with a title. She was the lady who brought him to this world and since then, left him on his own to venture in this jungle of humanity, rarely providing a shoulder to cry or a finger to hold.

And now, she was leaving him forever.

Her career as a fashion model and designer was the reason that kept her absent from his life in the first place. Her weekly trips varied from Malaysia to New Orleans, from Paris to Spain to Toronto and perhaps even Warsaw in Poland and then of course, there were the magazines and papers and advertisements. She was the camera's darling; the world her oyster. And surely, there was no place in her time to raise her child, especially only as a widow.

Ray could never say that his mother hated him. But there was never any substantial evidence to claim that she ever loved him either. The impression he had gotten while growing out of infancy was that he was a bother to her beautiful mother and her wonderful career. Since then, the child had always tried his best not to nurture that feeling and in fact rise against it and counter it. His mother, however, had somehow, may be even unintentionally, prevented that. She had more than once showed openly that she never wanted him and the only reason Chun-Li ever bore his presence was because of his father.

And that was all. She harbored no feeling, nor love, a mother had for her first child. This was the type his mother was. And though he had known that very well, he had refused to believe it till this day.

"Mama…" Ray whispered but the inevitable being the inescapable, he knew it was of no use.

The last of the tears poured out from those bright pools of honey, relaying a child's deepest fear yet trying to console it with the purest solace there was. No one had ever been there to wipe them away and similarly no one did this time either. They trickled down, unable to veil the incoming hiccups and small sobs that wracked the child's body. They drained and so did the emotions of panic and terror which had previously grasped Ray. Instead, numbness took reigns and rode his veins till his fingers automatically let go of the silken material and he hunched down, shoulders dropping and head bending forward in defeat.

_Mama…does not want me…she has other things to do…_

Ray remembered how his Nana always told him to ask his mother for more time to spend and bond with him. He remembered how he always scolded her that his mama was a big lady and had her very important business to attend to. He had never kept any expectations from Chun-Li; never expected her to kiss him good-night or tuck him in; never expected her to attend his weekly meetings with his teachers; never expected her to be interested in his school tales. She was hardly home and when she was, she would dedicate no more than half an hour or less to him.

And even that, for young Ray, was very well acceptable.

This, however, was not.

_Mama is probably angry. She always complains about the directors and the hard work on stage. Perhaps she had a bad day and then had a fight with Uncle Xian. She's just mad right now. She won't be leaving. She can't._

But as the thought processed through his mind, his mother's words became more meaningful and clear. She intended to go on with her life as a single with no motherly responsibilities and she intended to leave him for good.

"Chun-Li…"

"Xian…please…I need to be alone right now." Her words were short and to the point. She wanted them to leave.

_Just like that…?_ Ray dreaded.

The man stiffened at the abrupt dismissal and then turned to his nephew near his sister-in-law's feet, crouching like a wounded kitten, tears drying up on his soft pink cheeks. Ray was a perfect child. He never threw tantrums, he never demanded or screamed. Hell, he was not even a little spoiled for children of his age! Xian did not remember a single time the child had ever interfered with his mother's work or even personal life. He had accepted the fact that his mother was too busy for him and had handled himself very admiringly. But this…this was plain torture for a kid his, or any, age.

"Come, Ray,"

His breath hitched up painfully and Ray raised his eyes immediately to his mother. But she never looked, or even glanced at him. Those cute lips parted to say, beg, plead, but words refused to come out. His mother's cold demeanor just…simply turned him deceased…

Once more he felt arms scoop around his tiny frame as his Uncle Xian picked him up and cuddled him in his chest; the comfort at which Ray instantly turned to.

"I hope you know what you're doing Chun-Li…"

The two golden orbs peeked from behind the beautiful raven bangs and above the broad shoulder. A silent tear escaped and seeped into the black material on the shoulder as Ray fisted his uncle's top in his small hands. He watched till his vision blurred at his mother's figure for the very last time, knowing that this was where they had a parting of ways and this was how he had to learn to live his future like; alone.

The woman never said good-bye. She never even turned. The tears were there but she sniffed only once and wiped them off roughly. With that, she showed both males her back as they exited the lounge and made their way out of the house.

Ray never stopped looking, his foolish heart and naïve mind still begging for a last kiss, a last caress, and a final gesture. None came; none were exchanged. They entered the hallway and the five year old buried his face in his paternal uncle's shoulder, visibly showing that, at least for the moment, he had shut down the entire world around him and retrieved to the womb he had first breathed in…

The sketch on that fawn page lay forgotten on the wooden floor, the sentiments holding within the paper dying with a scream of the young child, dying in deep agony…

The broken Chinese writing in the corner said; _'I love you, Mama…'_

* * *

_**End Flashback**_

A sprain shot up his leg as the kick landed on the swaying sand bag but Ray ignored it and turned about to launch a few more before crouching and landing an open-palm slam in the middle. He hardly had time to step out of the way as the bag swung back, hard.

_Damn, I'm rusting._ He cursed. To his conscience, his attacks were accurate but did not hold the grace he once had. _What is wrong with me!_

Time was lost to the neko and so was the track on which his thoughts travelled, zigzagging, crisscrossing on the dangerous terrain that was his past.

Since that fateful day, Ray had worn a hidden veil: his life; a drama, a solid mask behind which he walked. Indifference though prevailing, a fake smile as he talked…

After his mother's disappearance from his young life, he grew up, never letting any of his relatives penetrate the shell he slept in. His uncles and aunts were fabulous; generosity and love embedded in their veins but Ray refused to be in debt of any of that. His eldest uncle, Xian, after mutual agreement in the family decided upon sending him, Ray, away from city's life and to the village of their forefathers in the mountains that bordered near Hong Kong; the abode of the White Tiger Clan.

So his life began anew.

He was welcomed with a fresh sense of acceptance and friendliness which, initially, seemed fake due to the lack of it in his earlier life. But he soon found out, his sociable nature had not been tainted as much as he feared and allowing people, who loved him for who he was, to share a part of his time became as natural as sleep at night. Confidence regained and mind no longer blemished by the thoughts of uncertainty and dread, his orphan life blossomed and he finally unlocked the gates to the land he had started to reign alone.

And there was where he first made friends with the village's most remarkably peculiar group of kids ever, one being the grandson of the Chief himself.

Ray felt cold; terribly cold out of the blue. Drops of perspiration slid down against the heated skin yet the formidable chill that controlled his body seemed lethal. To think he had once claimed **him** as his best friend was…was revolting. The mere thought brought bile into his throat and Ray forced himself not to choke.

The Lion had always loved him more than a brother. He had always been there on the look-out; always being overly possessive and protective and always there to lend a hand. Lee, he had played such a perfect role of an overprotective, domineering but reliable companion. Ray hardly remembered anytime they had not been together. They had the same schools, same temples, same training, same journeys, everything. But now the more he thought about it, the more Ray saw the deceit and lies resurfacing.

_'I did what I should have done three years ago, my dear Ray. And I'm going to complete it now.'_

The bite on his neck throbbed and Ray had to, once again, jump back to avoid the bag as it swung towards him after his attack. He was losing concentration and his control.

_Nothing seems real now… Lee…how could you do that? I couldn't have been that blind not to see how you took me from your lustful gaze!_

Fate laughed at him and Ray felt humiliated for the truth was, he was blind. He had graced the idea of perfect companionship and taken upon a supportive shoulder after being ignored and treated as a bother in his early childhood. Only now, he was left again to lick pitifully at the wounds that bleed after being betrayed in the most disastrous way.

_'It hurt, Ray… It hurts to love you so much. I wanted you for so long yet you never even gave me a second thought.'_

That was true. Ray never gave him another thought because he never took any of Lee's advances in a serious manner. He had simply made himself to believe that the ebony head's sexual encroachment was a result of his extreme perverted mind and usual wit.

But now, as aforementioned, the more Ray dwelled on those past memories, the more he could see the false meaning he used to deduce from the sly acts and flirting.

Not even one of the broken figments of reminiscence was a sincere recollection of two friends…not even one…

* * *

_**Flashback**_

"We're lost."

"We are not!"

"Yes, we are."

"For the last time, we are not!"

Silence prevailed for some moments as one of the two boys pouted slightly, following the other on the arduous climb upwards. It only lasted for a while,

"I told you we're lost."

"Ah! If you have nothing better to add, then I suggest you keep quiet and climb!"

"Well, you do agree that we're lost, right?"

"No, I don't. I know where we're going."

They kept tearing down the slope, knees aching, hands dirty and lungs both out of breath. The dangerous rocky climb finally started to level out and after a few more pulls and pants, they staggered onto the rough ground, one of them falling down immediately, the other sliding against a boulder, drained of energy and exhausted.

The elder one, after catching his breath, exhaled deeply before standing up and turning to assess the cave's surroundings. He could barely make out the stalagmites hanging from the black ceiling and everything else seemed nothing but alien.

"Okay, so we are lost." He concluded.

"I told you!"

"You're not helping, Ray." Lee growled at his younger friend, a few weeks shy of twelve.

"What? I said we should take the tunnel that goes downwards! That way we could have reached the waterfalls!"

"That path is caved in!"

"Well, I did try to help, didn't I?"

"You know, you're being impossible!"

Ray grinned, "I learnt it from the best, Lee."

"Don't be a smart ass with me, Ray."

The raven head frowned in mock innocence, "What is it with you and my ass?"

Lee rolled his eyes, taking out his hiking boots and rubbing his aching feet, "You have no idea."

Ray watched his friend with a small smile before sighing and mimicking Lee. He massaged his big toe and heel with little hands and then looked around him sulkily.

He and Lee set out for treasure hunting at nine in the morning. By noon, they had mightily enjoyed their rations and taken a cool bath in the waterfalls before the craziest idea of exploring the caves entered the vicinity of their adventurous thinking. Neither eager to call it a day and return to the village, they had taken the entrance to the mountain rather unfamiliar to them and then proceeded deeper and deeper till they were successfully lost.

And that had been two hours ago. Now body exhausted and lantern almost out, both rested at the peak of a small but steep cliff within the mountain's cavern, neither knowing which path to take now.

"Lee…?"

"Hmm…?" The Lion grunted, eyes still trying to make out anything that resembled to a path outside.

"What if we die here?"

Lee actually stopped in trying to locate a possible route and turned to the grinning neko that sat of the boulder, cross-legged, "Ha Ha, then I get to spend the last minutes of my life here in the dark with you and the rodents. How romantic,"

"But then I'll die a virgin!" Ray protested in childish glee of irking his already frustrated friend even more.

Lee, however, smirked, "Well I did suggest you months ago to lose it."

It was Ray's time to frown, "And I did reply that though you're two years older than me, I did not appreciate the offer."

"Then stop complaining,"

"But I still don't want to die a virgin!"

Turning 180 degrees and giving the younger boy a hard look, the ebony hair strode up to him and bringing his face inches away from the grinning one, spoke, "Do _you_ want _me_ to change that?"

"Don't feel so lucky, Lee. I'm ready to give myself to the old women than you."

"Fair enough, I suppose. So shut up and help me get out of this, alive. And unless there's some helpless old maid lost here too, I suggest you make some reservations and prepare yourself to be returned back to the heavens above, unopened and unused."

Ray mocked saluted his friend before sticking out his tongue when Lee turned away. He was on, what Lee termed, sugar-high and why wouldn't it be so when he stomached half a dozen pastries and sweet rolls before eating five honey sandwiches? Yet still, both needed to concentrate on getting out of that stony labyrinth well and soon. And that seemed rather difficult after climbing and trekking for so long on a dry throat.

"Lee, are you thirsty?"

"Yeah…very…we better find a way out of here and fast. Do you reckon we should go back and-?"

"Hush, listen…" His pointed ears actually twitched as Ray held up his hand to silence the elder. He just heard something rustle. It was a mild flutter sort of.

Lee patiently did for a few moments but detected nothing peculiar, "I don't hear anything-"

But Ray shushed him up again, getting off on his feet and straining his neck to detect whatever caught his attention. As being neko-jins, Lee's sense of smell was admirable but Ray took the aces when it came to eavesdropping or detecting the slightest of air vibrations.

His pointy ears twitched as Ray concentrated on making out the vibes. Finally, he silently gasped and pointed to the ceiling above, whispering fearfully, "Bats…"

Both of the boys tensed up as they watched what appeared to be fungi hanging from the cavern's ceiling were actually nocturnal creatures, meant on sucking blood of their prey once the sky darkened.

"Okay…" Lee whispered, unconsciously taking a few steps back, "Let's scram…"

"No, I have a better plan." Ray confided confidently before pushing Lee under the space beneath a large boulder.

"What are you-?!"

"SHH!" Ray hissed furiously as this time more disturbing flutters entered their hearing. "Just trust me, okay?"

"I do trust you, Ray," Lee replied, "It's when you're high on sweets when I have my reservations!"

"You want to get out of here with your throat intact or not?"

Turning off the lantern, Ray left his grumbling friend and after shooting him a shut-up look, put two fingers between his soft lips. He could feel Lee's glare turning into bewilderment then to fear. He could sense his mind telling him that it was not a good idea. He could hear the bats above becoming more restless and their huge wings flapping more.

He let his instincts take control and blew a loud shrill whistle.

Hundred bodies upon bodies jostled in alarm and deadly red eyes snapped open from their day-time slumber; the bats immediately falling from their upside down resting pose, beating their wings against each other to stay upright, still, no doubt, shaky from the unexpected wake-up call. The raven head was just able to dive in their temporarily hiding spot as earsplitting screeches filled the cave, the walls threatening to collapse around them from the sudden tidal wave of noise.

Leathery wings flailed terribly, endeavoring to stay airborne as the bats, gigantic and small, took off, flying against the cavern's ceiling before forming a hurried thick queue and rushing towards one of the three tunnels that lined one side of the huge cave.

Ray waited just for a while as the night creatures took flight towards the probable exit, then, removing his hand from Lee's protesting mouth, he gushed, "Let's go."

Without giving the elder one a chance to comprehend what just happened, Ray pulled his friend to his feet and chased the path the bats took, passing and dodging the obstacles carelessly yet expertly. He could sense Lee behind him but his concentration was being used in discerning the trail of their lead and keeping it within the boundary of his hearing. Up and down, crawling and jumping, both friends pursued the bats before Ray suddenly stopped when a clearing appeared, Lee running right into him.

"Did we lose them?"

Ray watched the two tunnels before him, trying to make up his mind. The darkness had given way to some light and they could at least make out their surroundings better than before which meant exit was close by. But left, right, what to choose? The bats, obviously very familiar to the turns and twists of their rocky abode, had taken their escape to the outside where the two Chinese had been attempting to reach for the past hours.

"Now what…?" Lee sighed, bending down to catch his breath.

Fighting to ease the drumming of his heart due to the run, Ray assessed the situation, mind exercising vigorously to locate some sign of escape, when a tiny sound was detected by his pointy ears.

_Drip-drip…_

"Listen!"

Amber eyes narrowed in focus before widening in realization what that noise could mean, "Water…?"

"No…" Voice filled in excitement, the neko closed his eyes before jogging towards the pouring. It kept increasing and Ray blessed his sharp inherited instincts for the umpteenth time. "I think we've reached the water falls!"

"No way, Ray. As far as I think, we're totally opposite to-AHHH!"

"Lee-! Where did you-AHHHH!"

The slimy ground underneath gave way and both boys tumbled into a bumpy ride of slick floor and fungus, sliding over each other, mouths ever opened in yells, as gravity did its toll and suck them down. Ray thought he heard Lee screaming something about keeping his legs and arms closed and head down but it could have been the air rushing against his ears and the shouts that just did not stop from coming out of his mouth.

Lower and lower, the boys spun and twisted against the sliding wet tunnel, their voices muffled to their ears, the initial dripping of water now metamorphosed into gushing liquid of high velocity. The golden eyed neko tried stopping his fall with his hands but his fingers passed through the green mold like a hot knife through butter. He now knew how a bullet must feel after being fired from a gun because that was exactly how he exited once reaching the tunnel's end.

Ray's body lurched forward painfully as the sliding path smoothened out before ending all the same and for a comical moment, he felt suspended in the mid air, eyes wide as saucers, as he gazed down to the wild water beneath. It was weird while it lasted because the next second, Ray screamed as he, unceremoniously, met the river's surface before being plunged down to its watery depths.

The small figure twisted around, the feeling of velvet jelly against his skin, cold and aggressive. Ray stretched out his arms and unexpectedly, took a gulp of bitter liquid. Out of breath and choking for his life, he scrambled here and there before pulling himself up to the surface. The raven head broke its wet cage and gasped for air to cool his burning lungs but that benefaction was not granted for long as the untamed wild water pushed him down again.

_I'm going to drown here!_

Swimming violently against the tides, Ray pulled himself up, watching the chaotic waves fighting mayhem of a battle as they rode down the mountains in their narrow rocky path. For the moment, he allowed his body to move with the flow of the current, twisting his head here and there in search of his other comrade,

"Lee!"

No sign of him!

"Lee where are you!"

Water stung his eyes as Ray turned to see more trouble washing up his way. Just around the corner, the river ended, disappeared.

That only meant one thing; waterfall.

For a second time in less than ten minutes, Ray was bulleted forward before feeling dangled by nothingness in mid air and then the eventual fall.

* * *

The chirping of birds, croaking of jungle toads and some twitches here and there altogether added a serene aura to the water edge, now and then a chameleon appearing to tongue some water in to quench its thirst. The leaves slid upon the ripples of the small lake, caused by the waterfall in the back, before docking at the rather stony and muddy beach under the shade of the evergreens.

However, as clichéd as it seem, the peace did not last for long.

"RAY!"

Knees weak and coughing out water violently, the said person raised his tired eyes and despite just having a life-loosing experience, grinned feebly. That only lasted for a while as Ray collapsed on the small pebbles on the river bed, heaving heavily, his limbs screaming at their own. Damn, he was exhausted!

Lee splashed water everywhere as he reached his friend; both drenched to the bone, and fell right next to him, his own breathing ragged and uneven. He was quick to overcome his shabby state and made to sit, his body shaking from the freezing bath they had just been granted.

"That…That had to be the stupidest idea…you ever came up with, Ray!" He breathed, his hands limp in his lap as he breathed.

Ray laughed slightly, one hand on his eyes in a tired manner, "At least…at least we are alive so be grateful!"

Cupping a hand full of water, Lee threw it on the grinning face. Seemingly, Ray was still not over his hyper state. That only caused Ray to grin even more and ending up in fits of laughter. He could not explain those sudden bouts so Lee caved in and laughed out loud too.

Perhaps it was because both were alive and unhurt; and had just swum out of the open jaws of death. Ray did not know and sighed happily, staring at the sky. He looked sideways at his friend, a smile automatically gracing his features. This had to be one of the best days of his life. They had an excellent picnic, ventured into unknown territory, got lost, and then almost drowned and probably had been this close into losing one of their nine neko-jinn's lives!

The weather was perfect; not too hot nor too cold either. The noon had witnessed the full glory of the mighty sun before clouds took reign and now the blue and grey sky, etched, some of the dark clouds slowly creeping nearer and nearer towards the mountains. The sound of running water, now gentle and soft, contrast to the rogue version they had been flung abruptly into, was soothing against their eardrums, lulling them to sleep that bordered their sight.

Ray yawned slightly, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. He could fall into a nap right there, right then despite his wet attire and hair and the uneven bed of stones.

_This is life!_

He loved it here. Not only the nature, but the little place he had been granted down in the valley he called home. Now he had a big family with Lee as his best-friend and overgrown possessive brother and other friends as siblings. Ray wondered what the villagers' would say after hearing their small adventure. Then again, it was best to be grateful they were alive and keep their silence.

"Well…" He breathed in peace. Even that felt like a blessing; Ray doubted he'd ever want cold river water choking his breath ever again. "Now I don't have to worry about my virginity or old women."

He just caught Lee granting him a superior smug smirk,

"Come to think of it, who'd ever want to bed you?"

Ray growled playfully before giving an arrogant smile from his own side,

"Ha! You certainly do!"

It was unexpected and abrupt and Ray's eyes only opened for a second and widened when Lee suddenly draped himself over his lying body with a devilish grin in place of the usual superior smirk. His body twitched and breath left him as his best friend bent down and captured his lips in a gentle, chaste kiss.

It was short and sweet. And it lasted for less than a couple of seconds. But Ray remained stunned even when Lee pulled back to stand with his hands on his waist and that smirk in place,

"And I will…sweetheart."

The grubby effects of shock left him only when Lee started running down the path leading from the waterfalls. And perhaps his escape from Ray's probable vengeance was what stimulated his brain to react and jumping to his feet, Ray chased after him, yelling how he was going to regret ever doing that, laughing all the while. But the kiss…it remained there, causing him to shiver at least once at the new experience. It was planted in the back of his mind for ever. Ray knew it. Because that had been his first kiss ever…his first kiss, by his best friend…

He caught up with the older one at edge of a small mound and slammed into him powerfully, sending both bodies down the slide and into the branches and leaves.

"You are so busted Lee!!"

"Ha, ha, you're so cute when you're angry!"

Ray, face red, balled his hand and pretended to punch him on the nose when his ears twitched once more and instincts kicked in. He looked up from where he and Lee had fell into a heap of leaves and humus, arm still pulled back to attack, and scanned the trees before him as if trying to discern the direction where the mild thudding was coming from.

They must be near to the village by now. The waterfalls were only three miles in the north from it.

Lee had noted that look on Ray's face, the one he always had while concentrating, "Do you hear something?"

"Don't you?"

"Hmm… Drum beats…?" Lee questioned, the thudding now entering the vicinity of his hearing too.

There they were; low but rushed! The forest probably blocked the sound but it was there and Ray was sure of it as he took a few steps towards it.

"Kind of…"

They were loud enough by now and more frantic and Ray's heart missed a beat when he realized what they meant.

Both friends shared terrified looks and cried, "The village!"

The drumming, in the White Tiger Clan, was signified for any sudden emergency that constitutes in the villagers gathering at the village Centre. The trumpet was played for any threats, let that be war or tribal battle, and to warn about the incoming typhoons from the Dragon; the metallic gong for the arrival of someone foreign; the flute for the arrival of spring and the siren for children and women alike to take cover and for the executive council to meet in the Temple.

Forcing branches and leaves apart and tearing their way down the jungle, the two boys scrammed and rushed on the dirt path that marked the whole woods, Ray dreading the scenario in wake of the signal.

_Something must have happened, something terrible._

The trees thinned away, giving view to a magnificent green hillside and the hidden village that resided in the beautiful valley below. Ray and Lee stopped at the peak, gazing down with formidable expressions, hands on knees. Specks of people were seen, darting from street to street, the shepherds and farmers returning from work while the village Elders, distinguishable in their mighty distinct gowns, rushing towards the riverside that bordered the east side of the mountain community.

"What's happening, Lee...?"

The raven head turned to see the amber eyes fixed on the group of people accumulated near the river, half a mile or more away from the last house of the village,

"I think someone has drowned."

"Then why would they send the signal?" Surely it was not an incident of that big a magnitude to call upon the villagers for a gathering.

"I don't know. May be…" But he could not complete that sentence for both knew what lay at its end and were too scared to speak out loud.

"Look, they are starting to send the smoke signals! Why are they calling up for other tribes?" Ray cried while pointing a finger at the smoke rings now slowly starting to decorate the sky.

Something was definitely wrong!

"Let's go…"

They jogged down the mountain hill, their legs and feet accustomed to high jumps from their martial arts training and regular trekking so they were down in no time. But as the slope flattened, they did not stop and kept running the distance that remained between them and the village gate with fast speed. Ray followed Lee as they passed the main entrance, taking an immediate right before scissoring through the stone paths that snaked the wooden houses. Ray finally pulled out his breaks and came to an abrupt halt as they neared the water edge and the group of village folk gathered there.

An aged women, heavily lined faced, wearing a dark bandana rattled the beads in her hand as she struck the ground hard with her wooden staff, "It's a dark omen that has entered here…dark omen indeed… Our tributes have not pleased the Golden Dragon, Lord of all creatures. Oh not at all! Evil…it's dead…but it's amongst us."

Those crazy wide veined eyes scared him and Ray forced himself to look away. Lee had disappeared into the crowd and Ray, being agile and small, dropped to the ground and crawled in between the legs and gowns of the people to reach the source of commotion that remained accumulated at the river bed. His charade was so far successful until two small hands grabbed his hunched shoulders and he was forced to turn around to look into another pair of light golden eyes,

"Ray! Where have you been! I was so worried!" Mariah gushed, her beautiful tinted hues wide in fear. She, like him, had crawled into the centre of the group and now her fuchsia hair poured out of the pink bandana, static and charged.

"We were at the waterfalls. Mariah, are you okay? What's going on?" Ray assured his female friend who was, to him, akin to a younger sibling.

"I have no idea. But the Elders are sending all children back to home. Even Chief Burma is coming!"

"Chief Burma…?" Their tribal chief rarely left the temple!

"Yeah, Ray! I was so worried something had happened to you and- Where's Lee?" The eleven years old stretched her neck to look around but Ray pulled her back to avoid being hit by the shifting legs.

"He's okay, too."

"Ray! Mariah!"

Both young neko-jins turned to see another kid struggling out of the mix match of limbs and hopping towards them. His dark green high ponytail was his identifying signature and Mariah pulled the small seven years old towards them to save his bones from being crushed.

"Kevin, where did you run off to?"

"I went to see what happened."

"Well, what did?" Ray whispered, sensing the restlessness stirring in the group of elders they were surrounded with.

"A-a body floated down the stream." The cute mouth that always had a mischievous smile glued on it whispered fearfully as if confiding the biggest secrets, "It's a lady I think but nobody knows who. The Elders want every kid to go back home, Mariah, but I think they mentioned Ray."

Ray felt a cold shiver climb down his spine, "M-me…?"

"That must be because you and Lee were missing Ray," Mariah reasoned with him but Kevin, naïve and thoughtless, interrupted her,

"No, they want Ray specially to return back to his room-Ray. Ray, where're you going?"

"Ray-wait…!"

But Ray was already many feet away from them, crawling towards the edge and as the number of people became denser, he knew he was nearing whatever horror that was there.

What was going on? What was all the hype about anyway? Was the person, the lady, dead or something? If the smoke signals had been sent, that only meant that the victim was not from their village. But if the drums' signal was sent, that meant it was very serious. The continuous need to veil the calamity from children also aroused his suspicion and fear. What was going on? And more so, why was he mentioned? He did not know any female outside the village. Even his uncles' wives lived here.

"Send for Chief Burma! And fast…!"

Ray stopped at the man's horrified voice before creeping near the edge to get a sight at the incident.

"Oh Buddha…"

"It's an omen."

"This is dreadful!"

"How could this have happened…?"

The mournful whispers and murmurs, up till then, had scared Ray but nothing jolted him badly as another man yelled loudly, his tone crisp and hard in the wind,

"Go back to the temple and call Tahoe! Tell him and Xian to fly here immediately from Hong Kong! Get a move on NOW!"

Ray was pressed against the many legs and clothing as the villagers squeezed together to give way to Lee's Grandfather, Chief Burma, who swept towards his people in his majestic yellow gown, his almost bald head and numerous beads shining from the light. A moment of complete silence enveloped them all and all the little neko could hear was his troubled heartbeats as everyone waited for their leader to address the situation in best way. He felt suffocated, oxygen hardly present, and just when Ray thought he was about to pass out due to the tension and eventual throttling, Chief Burma spoke, the deep baritone intonation resonating in his voice was secluded only to a small radius around him,

"Find young Ray and take him and Lee to my temple, immediately. Let none see this and wait for Xian's arrival." He lowered his voice and continued in his heavy tone, sounding mightily troubled and depressed, "It is a dark day for the White Tiger Clan. I do not wish for my people to be scarred by this. Obscure this obscenity and start preparing for a funeral and forgiveness."

He could not take it much longer.

People parted and Ray raced through the gap, breaking the crowd's invisible hold on his sight, and skidded to a stop in the muddy water on his hands and knees. The front raven bangs swayed skywards as gasps tore from the elders there but Ray did not wait and turned towards the river edge where the body was dragged in.

Time stopped and a single scream rang through the village, causing the birds settled on trees to take a frightened flight.

Someone grabbed him from the waist and quickly tried to carry him back in the crowd but even they knew the irreparable damage was done.

_._

_._

_._

_The golden eyes remained stretch open in a scream as Chun-Li's dead gaze scrutinized her only son, her once pink lips parted in a gasp of her own…_

* * *

_**End Flashback**_

The security he had rendered after his mother's departure was shattered in the worst way possible and after that incident, vulnerability distinctly made up his persona. That was when Ray first noted the permanent need of isolation that snatched his heart and reined his soul. The need to keep to himself, to remain far from any relation and to even separate himself from the society and friends he had grown to adore, it initiated. After that, many things took a wild twist in his young life and peace of mind, self-confidence and emotional stability were one of the few things he knew he was not entitled to.

His mother had been murdered, he had found out later on. His uncles had been rushed from their offices and the matter had remained under discussion for a long time, during which Ray became victimized by the shackles of shock and darkness in the most hidden corners of his room. She had been strangled and thrown in the river, deliberately near the White Tiger Village as if the cold blooded murderers wanted him to suffer for misdeeds he had not committed. He had, many at times, futilely endeavored to link this tragedy with that of his father's death but alas, coherency was lost to him then.

Thunder crackled threateningly outside the gym. The attacks were becoming more feverish, resulting in sawdust showering from the hinges that held the bag from the ceiling. Creaks and squeaks of metal against metal filled the firmament but this was all playing a role of easing his racing heart. Ray was hardly paying attention to his surrounding by now, too absorbed by the demons of his past.

What happened to be the most difficult point in the whole scenario was, perhaps, when, after being dried and cleaned up by the female healers, they found the meshed up wet paper from possessions that Chun-Li had in the pockets of her large silk kimono.

_'I love you, Mama…'_

It was too much! Chun-Li had actually kept that last sketch Ray had forgotten on the floor of his house as her son's lasting reminiscent. Ray did not know why. He could not even dream how she had managed to actually keep such a direct reminder of him through seven years when the last time he saw her alive; she wanted simply nothing to do with him!

Stacked carefully in the inner most compartment of her pure leather wallet, which, in turn, was pocketed safely in the inside of her attire, was that old drawing of a blossoms tree and a pond nearby. In fact, after losing all the moist, the pencil work had faded to such an extent that the child's work was nothing but indistinguishable. And Ray at first had not recognized it, his mind refusing to do so. It was his uncle, obviously familiar with the art, who jarred his memory, may be in hopes of arousing some compassion for his late mother that she had, till the very end, not forgotten him. That had, seriously, done nothing whatsoever to affect his emotionless, blank stupor and Ray had put an impassive face in front of the Elders when viewing his mom's dead corpse and left belongings.

However, once behind the veil, he was hammered down to lasting broken pieces, his mentality torn.

_You told me you didn't want me! You left me! And I coped up with that, I really did. And then…you came, returned only to destroy me again…? Just like that…? How could you…?_

Things did not go as smoothly afterwards as Ray proposed and thought them to be. His uncles decided, upon his behalf, to take him, once more, away from the place that had caused a young child such terror. And so there began his adventures into the foreign lands beyond China and Ray travelled the Europe and Middle East, finally associating with his family's business in real terms.

Of course this had a diverse affect on Lee and his friendship and if there was anytime Ray literally had felt vary of the elder else than now, it was then.

Ray experienced this change directly after Chun-Li's death and tendency to appreciate and even long for some isolation became evident in him. Lee, on the other hand, not only disapproved this but downright refused to understand it. He hated Ray's uncles for taking him, in his own words, 'away from him'. Lee had faced defeat then and he had confessed it to Ray's face that he was not in favor of Ray going so far without him but Ray, for once, had not sided with the Lion then. Maybe he felt it was a time to stay away from Lee's…lustful…gaze.

_Lustful…_Ray almost sneered at the thought. _I'll be lying to myself if I say I knew the hidden meaning of his advances at that time. I was too naïve then._

True, Ray had simply put a blindfold on his eyes when it came to Lee and his possessiveness and public display of ownership of Ray. It was true. Even when Ray returned from his tours, quite a chef even at that age, he did his best to bridge the gap that had occurred in their companionship. It had worked too and Ray and Lee had settled into restaurant business in Hong Kong. That merry time once more changed when he was admitted to Tokyo on Home Economics skills and cooking expertise, and having his maternal linkage in Japan, Ray had taken up yet another opportunity to distant himself from the lands whose soil was his heritage.

But the horrors he had experienced there were enough to forget all about it.

And there, for the first time ever in his life, Ray had found a companion he had believed to be _the one._

The neko side stepped the charging punching bag and distanced himself from the moving projectile, the veins in his limbs throbbing with adrenaline. Flexing his fingers and wrists, Ray jumped slightly at the sound of thunder from outside. He was grateful that he was alone in the gym. It gave him time to cope up with his fucked up thoughts.

_Kai…_

'_I missed you, Ray'_

_Not how I missed you Kai…not how I missed you…_

Making his way off the mats, he slid down the mirrored wall, resting his head on the cool surface with a façade of defeat. His silky mane was damped from the scalp and neck and Ray felt an instant need to shower. However, for the moment the small white towel sufficed and after taking a swig from the small bottle that sat on the table within his reach, he rested back, scrutinizing the lazy swinging movements of the punching bag with tired eyes.

It seemed ironic. Ray had thought he would never be able to start any relation any time soon or even at such a young age. His life had been too much in turmoil beforehand and he had come to Tokyo only to start anew. Perhaps his heart had concluded that the best way to do so was to seek, maybe, someone…someone special…perhaps a lover…

He did not know then what it was that he saw the first time he had looked straight into those fiery ambers of crimson. He did not know how, or even why, he reacted when he saw that stoic figure on his first day. Ray was not even sure if the attraction was from him or the Russian.

However, what he did know was that the first time their eyes met, Ray felt a bond already in process of making. When he saw the bluenette, he felt a tie between their lives, akin to each other and strangely similar tragedies adorning their pasts. What he did find was that Kai Hiwatari had never glanced towards any other person, even those who knew him a bit, but was somehow willing to have him, Ray, in his company.

Kai rendered a persona where significance for others remained zero. But he had found Ray of at least this much importance to let him approach him and allow him to caress his soul with gentle touch of simple friendship.

A simple friendship that very quickly metamorphosed into deep intimacy and companionship and soon to something both considered more blissful than the most divine relation present on God's green earth…

* * *

_**Flashback**_

"Master Ray! What an unexpected surprise."

Scrambling in through the partially opened heavy wooden doors, the said teen pulled back his grey hood, revealing damp raven tresses plastered on his grinning face.

"Hey Dimitri, is Kai home?" Blowing warm air on his hands, he rubbed them quickly in order to reheat his body. The temperature inside the mansion was much moderate and cozy than the storm raging outside but Ray had other matters to pursue than to be worried about a little pitter patter.

"Yes, he's upstairs in his room but I won't bother him if I were you. The Master is in a bad mood." The butler replied smartly, taking a clean towel out of the antique wardrobe and handing it over to the wet neko-jin. "And mind I remind you that you should not be out in this weather, especially without a jacket or an umbrella?"

Ray laughed openly as he took off his jumper and hung it on the coat hanger to dry. Mercifully, his customary Chinese attire beneath was in a much fine shape, "Nah, I couldn't wait till the rain's over. Besides, I'm here, am I not? Why do you say Kai's in a bad mood again?"

Dimitri smiled, his perfectly brushed and trimmed mustache curling in a small curve, "He had a bit of an argument with Master Tala."

"Tala's here?"

"Yes, he came in last night."

"And they had a fight? That must have been a record."

Dimitri offered yet another smile and after making sure Ray would not be dripping on the expensive rugs and shining floor of the grand lobby, he allowed him to step forward,

"What is it that you're in such a rush about again?"

Ray actually had to stop himself from running to the staircase at the end of a half kilometer lobby. Trying to come with a brief response, he bent down and quickly started pulling various junk and articles lying surprisingly in order in his red bag pack. Taking out a sleek black wallet and a few off-white pages, he stood up again, the long ponytail bouncing swiftly at the speed,

"Kai forgot his wallet in the library and there's some other news he deserve to know first."

"Well, don't be surprised to find him locked in and brooding."

Ray laughed, "Kai and brooding in the same sentence, Dimitri?"

The senior almost smirked before turning and striding off, "Don't say I didn't warn you, Master Ray. Good evening to you."

Smiling benignly at the stoic figure, Ray settled his bag in the corner before taking off to the majestic wooden staircase and using the delicately designed wrought-iron railing, he propelled himself up the steps, taking two, three at a time.

The reason for this excited rush that conquered his body at the moment was mainly due to the news on the notice board he had a glimpsed of after school. He had been given the post of the Head cook in his Home Economics and he was only a freshman! That was a record in the institution's history! The decision was taken by a month's observance by various teachers and an overall cooking bonanza. Ray's rival had been some egoistic guy, two years his senior and he had downright refused to take a part in it.

That's where Kai came in. He admitted that returning the wallet had been the first excuse to meet the bluenette again at his _small_ mansion, and Ray had grabbed that chance like anything, totally willing to once more visit the Russian in his awesome abode. But after hearing the news of his unexpected victory, now he had an extremely urgent and totally explainable reason to barge in on him unannounced and not make a fool out of himself.

Where Kai came in this entire scenario? It was not a big deal that over the four months they had become really good colleagues. Then again, may be it was; because the neko had been one of the first and only one to befriend the fire phoenix whose flames reflected nothing but the snares of chill from the coldest of the tundra.

The two-toned head had been the one who had suggested and later encouraged him to muster up the confidence to become the nominee for the post in the first place. Had it not been Kai arriving by accident in the kitchen when Ray was making famous Chinese moon cakes, he would never have tasted the delights and hence never bothered to tell, or even find out, that Ray was a great cook and should probably try for the President. Ray had laughed and made fun of him self at the idea and Kai had shrugged it off for almost a week before catching the little chef once more making some other dish and tried persuading him to sign up.

Skidding to a halt right before the wooden door, Ray brought his fist up and knocked at the hard surfaced carved magnificently in hands of a professional with a large ruby residing near head level.

"Kai…" He called out just to affirm his presence. Kai had assured him sometime before that he was one of the few granted the liberty to invade his privacy of his room and approach him there **if** the occasion calls for it.

For Ray, it definitely was such an occasion.

No reply came and the Chinese frowned somewhat. As little as he knew the bluenette, he was sure that Kai had 'twenty by twenty' hearing and even if he had not called out loud, he would have already knew it was Ray. That was just the way Kai was, Ray assumed.

"Hey Kai, it's me." He knocked again, tapping his feet in anticipation.

No answer…

What the heck! Why wasn't he opening already? May be he was still bummed out because of Tala.

"Kai…?"

Waiting for only a single hesitant second, Ray grabbed the knob and slowly opened a crack. Hearing nothing from the other side, he took a silent breath and peeked into the Master Hiwatari's room.

He had been in the chamber only once before but he admitted it was in all its glory at that time. Now, however, it was blanketed sensually in darkness. The heavy curtains cascaded down till the thick fur carpet like dark crimson blood frozen in its fall. They veiled the inside warmth from the rashness of the raging storm but in doing so, also obscuring the probable light, basking the room in an eerie silence. No lamps, no lights, it was as if an angry demon rested, scrutinizing from the shadows at the easy prey that would be a victim of its fury.

Ray shivered despite himself and stepped in tenderly, closing the door behind. Blinking a few times, he waited till his eyes got accustomed to the darkness. He could make out the master bed, resting on the raised steps of a platform and that was because of the streak of light coming from the far end of the room. Frowning a bit, Ray made out the door from which the aforementioned light was coming from. During his visit before, he had not noticed another sideway chamber else than Kai's massive walk-in closet.

Could it be Kai was brooding in _there_??

Watching his steps, Ray made his way through the grand place, forcing his mind to ignore the thought of invading someone's privacy and feeling highly guilty about it. Reaching his destination with inaudible movements, he, in a spur of a moment, remembered that Kai's wardrobe and bathing suite was at the opposite side.

_This must be some personal study of his or something. I wonder if I should-Whoa, what's that?_

Ray's ears twitched in habit and he stepped closer to the mahogany door. Was that some instrument playing that he heard? Clearly yes; it was faint and muffled but nonetheless there.

Leaning a bit towards the wood, it slightly swung opened on its own accord and Ray quietly peeped inside. His limited view restricted his eyes to make out what seemed like a rectangular room that was unlit but the burning ambers in the grate provided fair enough illumination to make out the tastefully decorated study.

Golden eyes shifted towards right at the plucking of some guitar strings and Ray almost jumped to find Kai sitting on the window sill. The glass being sound proof held back the thrashes of the rain outside yet the continuous heavy patter of rain drops on it and the dry cozy environment in the interior gave an overall classic touch. But that, surprisingly, was not of any interest for Ray at the moment for he was finding it very hard to believe that his eyes were not deceiving him.

Was Kai holding a guitar?! Better yet; was he _playing_ a guitar?

Sure enough, the bluenette sat on the cushioned sill, one leg folded, the other stretched out, the acoustic instrument embraced in his strong arms with posture of an expert musician yet the calmness of a soul at peace. The beautiful blue bangs fell before the pale face in a rebellious style, merging colors with the golden shades coming from the fire place. Ruby eyes partially opened, the lashes now and then caressing the cheek bones with a gentle whisper, were lowered to the guitar whose strings were play by skilled fingers, producing a soft, swooning melody.

Ray was mesmerized.

His purpose forgotten, he felt seduced by the purity of the scenario he felt he had rudely invaded upon. This was sacred. Never had he even thought to imagine that Kai Hiwatari, _the_ Kai Hiwatari, would be one day seen in a veneer so tender, so defenseless…so…touching…

Ray had always seen the one and only aloof façade of the Russian. The master of indifference: stoic and proud in his walk, yet cool and distant from every angle possible. Quiet, calm but always ready and alert; Ray had seen those auburn hues burn with a fiery inferno, yet the same ones awarding cold glares akin to Siberia's chilly winds. He had seen the lethargic apathy residing in those eyes and also the boring look that subjected everything with simple impassiveness. He had witnessed the garnet orbs lighting with curious intrigue and glinting in sarcasm with a smirk always in place; the same eyes bearing a hint of a smile at a small quirk or simply giving a meaningful stare of silent encouragement.

What he had never seen was perhaps the vulnerability, the shadow of despondency that now etched in those crimson pools. It seemed like an armor had been shed and a wounded body had emerged. Yet on that wounded body, there remained a single, unblemished iota, a single fiber different from the tarnished skin. The iota, which still knew emotions, which still could feel, like it had emerged through the battles and tragedies and unlike the whole body, it still remembered pain, sadness…still remembered being human.

Kai had always been an icon of strength, someone not cursed with the pain of a broken heart or human emotions. He always seemed so strong, so untouchable, so cold…

This, however, showed him a light where Ray finally realized his obsession with the bluenette.

Looking back, the neko-jin would claim he fell in love with Kai on first sight. It was just this moment that made him realized this for the first time ever.

The melody continued, so beautiful, so soothing…completely divine. And just when Ray thought he should announce his presence, he was struck with another sacred revelation.

The two-tone head gently rested against the wall and those lips, translucent, facing the ceiling, parted and a voice, wrapped with sheer divinity and perfection, sang out to the silent room and its walls.

"…_I won't talk,  
__I won't breathe  
__I won't move till you finally see  
__That you belong with me…"_

Ray almost pulled back in a gasp and had to bit his tongue to keep him from reacting in any way that would give his hidden position away.

That was beautiful.

"…_You might think I don't look,  
__But deep inside  
__In the corner of my mind,  
__I'm attached to you…"_

He breathed out slowly and gradually, fingers wrapping at the doorframe to keep hold. The thought of Kai singing took a backseat when he heard that voice, which held the power to make anyone envious, continued without breaking. The stanzas were perfect; longer when supposed to be, short when needed.

_Kai…_

It was clear that the bluenette was singing out to someone. It was evident. How? Ray did not care. He was sure of it. And he wondered who that lucky person was…

"…_I'm weak…  
_…_It's true…"_

Ray's heart convulsed at the confession. Kai…? Weak…? He narrowed his eyes, the song's lyrics twisting him in a typhoon of sentiments he seemed unable to harness.

"…_'Cause I'm afraid to know the answer  
__Do you want me too?  
__Does my heart keep falling faster?"_

He closed his eyes,_ God…Kai…_

"…_I've waited all my life to cross this line  
__To the only thing that's true  
__So I will not hide  
__It's time to try  
__Anything to be with you  
__All my life I've waited…_

_This is true..."_

By the time the stanza ended, Ray felt weak enough to have tears falling from his eyes. Kai…he sang…he sang so pristinely…it was so divine…so profound.

Ray was lost at sea. Kai singing had opened a window that showed him in a light worth falling for. And that was what happened to him. The moment could not be described. If those lyrics were the one Kai composed himself, Ray adored them and adored him for doing so. Even if not, it did not matter because the way he uttered each sentence, each word, it was heavenly.

The phoenix continued his lament,

"…_You don't know what you do  
__Every time you walk into the room  
__I'm afraid to move…_

_I'm weak…  
_…_It's true…_

_I'm afraid to know the ending  
__Do you see me too?  
__Do you even know you met me?"_

Ray wished he knew the thoughts behind this. And he wondered: Was Kai feeling the same what he was? If so, how deep did it run?

"…_I've waited all my life to cross this line  
__To the only thing that's true  
__So I will not hide  
__It's time to try  
__Anything to be with you  
__All my life I've waited…_

_This is true..."_

The neko almost jumped back when Kai lowered his socked feet to the floor, a ghost of a smile adorning his features as he plucked the strings of his guitar. He seemed to have lost that shroud of sadness Ray had first been granted to witness but Kai was still as much absorbed as from the start for he had yet to discover Ray on the other side.

_"…I know when I go,  
__I'll be on my way to you…  
__The way that's true…"_

For the moment, the worry of being discovered took a back seat in his mind as Kai opened his crimson eyes and turned his head towards heavens above. His fingers fiddled, not once breaking their momentum and automatically on cue.

_"…I've waited all my life to cross this line  
__To the only thing that's true  
__So I will not hide  
__It's time to try  
__Anything to be with you  
__All my life I've waited..._

_This is true..._"

The last syllable was stretched to just the right extent and the song ended, the words still managing to hook themselves with the air that surrounded.

It was sensual…

The log that smashed against the doorframe scared him much more than being grabbed by front and shoved into the wall. His gasp was left in mid air as Ray's head made hard contact with the edge to the wall and doorframe, leaving his mind to automatically shut down for a moment from the crack.

"Ray??"

Honey eyes screwed open, blinking shockingly at the unexpectedness of the attack and coming straight in contact with wide crimson orbs. Kai, hand still fisting his shirt, stared at Ray in pure surprise before narrowing his eyes in what was sheer fury.

"What are you doing here?!"

He would have swallowed had he not been frozen by the glare Kai was giving him, his grip on his front pushing his back further into the edge.

"I asked something!"

He had never seen Kai like this. Sure he had seen him granting death glares to students and teachers alike at school and yeah, he had a couple of opportunities seeing him coolly ticking off seniors by his crisp short replies in squabbles. Ray had coped up with his annoyed expressions during recess and classes or in any social event. But anger; this was a new territory where he had his first step over the line and even if it killed him, Ray, for future, would make sure not to trudge to these grounds again.

If there was anything worse, it was the fact that Kai was angry at him, at Ray.

And that small fact rendered him speechless as the bluenette continued to stare down at him, obviously expecting a proper, well reasoned answer as to why the neko dared invaded his sacred privacy _with_ the knowledge how much Kai prized his solitude.

_I-I…_

Kai searched those shocked eyes before his gaze fixed on those wavering lips. As if the realization suddenly struck back home, he took a step back, leaving the raven head to gasp in air as if he was being strangled.

Ray tried not to fall forward at the retreat but the pain that shot up his spine made him double over and he fell down to his knees with a small hiss. Kai's shadow over him shifted as the bluenette went to stand before him, his fury somewhat dissipating. Ray made to speak but the lack of oxygen counted as one of the factors along with being jolted out of his senses that made him not to reply.

"What…"

He looked up. Kai still stared down at him, and though his eyes were not blazing, they were unnaturally hard meaning Ray was not forgiven. The Russian did not complete his inquiry as if testing whether Ray was foolish enough to inquire further.

When any answer failed to reach his ears again, Kai looked away with a small curse before turning sharply back again, his towering figure amplified as the neko still remained on his knees, "Wasn't the door closed?"

"I-" Ray swallowed and tried getting up. Kai did not help, not even when he bent down again as his spinal cord cracked back into place. Gasping, he clutched the side of the door for support. "I-I knocked…many a times…"

Kai waited patiently but when he did not continue, he spoke in a commanding voice, "And…?"

Ray finally looked into his eyes and somehow the whole scenario fell into his mind. Of course Kai was pissed off. He never allowed anyone to trespass into his terrain without permission. And Ray had not only done that but actually crossed all boundaries by raiding into his room, his private sanctuary, and further had sneaked around to a corner most sacred to the bluenette. He, Ray, had broken his own moral limits and had witness perhaps something very personal to Kai.

What would this have an affect on his newly bond with this intriguing foreigner to whom he had taken as an old friend? Would this mistake cause him this friendship? Ray's heart sank a bit. What if Kai never wanted anything else to do with him?

Maybe the dejected shadow that veiled his eyes as he lowered them moved Kai's demeanor for Ray, too ashamed and confused now, trained his sight anywhere but his friend's face, not knowing how or what to explain and how to actually put it in words. His mind was just not able to cope up with this diverse change in the Russian. He had just seen him…singing and now…

Silently shaking his head, Kai ran a hand through his unruly bangs, "Ray-"

"Dimitri…Dimitri kind of warned me. He did say that…" Ray fidgeted, hands making shaky gestures, "That you were not…in a very good mood…that you and Tala just fought…and…"

Watching his once confident colleague mumble so incoherently, Kai actually sighed before softening up a bit. Waiting after as if fighting to make a decision in his mind and finally reaching the verdict, he took Ray's hand off the door and closed it shut.

Golden eyes shifted to the uncharacteristic contact in a lost haze. He had already dropped the wallet and his papers outside and one glance before had confirmed him that Kai had seen them. Now as the bluenette led him in the small study, he raised his head upwards like a confused child searching for way home.

He finally turned to face Ray.

Kai's eyes held…regret…? They had lost that hard look and that angry gleam as he stared down at the ruffled attire before reaching out and straightening the collar and the hem of Ray's shirt then checking him for injuries.

Lips involuntarily parted and eyes wide, Ray could not judge whether his mind registered the fleeting touches or not. Kai was close to him, just a foot away, touching his shoulders and back with gentle fingers as if already trying to make up for the way he reacted. His vision fogged over and thoughts became hazy when the same hand slowly traced the base of his head, feeling for any serious lumps yet causing the fine hair there to stand up.

Perhaps the stillness that controlled Ray's body finally made Kai realized and he looked into those two glowing golden ponds. And then he realized what powerful sentiments were in control there. Garnet gaze shifted from those big beautiful orbs to those moist lips, his hand still at the back of Ray's neck.

_God, he's so close…he's so close!_

Standing there, Ray's mind blacked out as he stared at a person he had begun to admire after there very first meeting, a person he had wanted to be bonded with, to share something special. That person –Kai– now here with him, alone, in a closed warm room, caressing him intimately…Ray later wondered how someone could not be hypnotized then.

Ray felt the hand as it slowly travelled down, involuntarily tracing the exposed skin of the neko's arm with slow, hesitant moves. Ray's eyes glazed over but Kai remained pretty much conscious, crimson orbs, holding a soft light, darting from the lips to the lost look before returning to the lips again as if unsure, hesitant, to continue.

Whether intentionally or not, the two bodies came closer, inch by inch… Clothes kissed in whispers as both leant in, not knowing nor caring who did first.

_We shouldn't…I shouldn't…but Buddha, he's so…so close…Kai, he's…_

Kai watched closely as those tempting lips timidly turned upwards and he couldn't seem to help it anymore. Ray's fingers were brushing against his, the only contact between the two till then. And it seemed so less. He wanted more, much more than that.

_We shouldn't…_

The powerful forces from above were dominant here and impulse could not have been annihilated. Kai's lips brushed against the rosy pink ones in a caress and nothing more. That, itself only, made Ray's breath leave him in a shudder of a gasp. Kai, taking it as fright, made to back off when the younger whispered in an almost inaudible voice,

"More_…"_

Eyes falling close, he raised his chin forward, fingers below still caressing Kai's in uncertain hesitancy. Lips above him made hesitant contact with his own opened ones and they once more brushed, yet full heat of contact was not achieved. They kissed like that for moments; none of the two daring to move forward yet neither had the heart to call it quits. The fleeting touches not growing distant or bold but both seemed content to carry on this subtle battle towards higher goals.

And just when Ray was going to gently demand to continue, he opened his eyes just to see Kai closing his red ones and finally entwining his fingers in shy hold. And that was enough for the raven head to move forward and claim the bluenette's lips with his.

Hands embraced each other strongly together at the contact and Kai's other hand grabbed his chin to sink deep into the kiss that the neko had initiated.

The walls of the room burnt and the world around disappeared into oblivion. Neither time nor space intervened and nor the two soul mates, lovers at first sight and partners for life to come break apart. Hands, held tightly together, strengthened their hold as Kai traced his hand against the smooth soft skin, cupping the tanned cheek as he gently parted the lips to caress the contours of that delicious mouth that so willingly lost itself in the kiss that mated them.

"Hey, Kai, I just wanted to…Whoa!!"

Meshed mouths, touching faces and entwined fingers broke apart with a startle before both heads whipped towards the entrance, bodies automatically setting apart and drawing distance as if scorched by hellish fire. Ray gasped, his cheeks coloring up faster than ever as he stared wide eyed, shocked, at the redhead Russian gracing the doorway.

"I…uh…"

The cerulean eyes portrayed shock and confusion as well as Tala stared from his best friend to the Chinese he had very recently acquainted, neither of which moved or tried to explain. Feeling best to just step away and run off rather than stuttering and ruining the moment, he showed up his two hands in defeat and moved backwards,

"I…I should've knocked. Don't mind me; I just…well…carry on."

And he was out faster than he came in and Ray actually breathed out in relief. Or was it relief?

Stabbing them in the back with a hot rusted knife, reality crashed down and both of the remaining occupants turned back to each other. Well, at least Kai did. Ray just shot a glance before turning his head down again, his heart beating as if he had finished twenty laps in one go.

_I just…we just…Kai just…kissed me…_

The bluenette's gaze was on him, that much he knew. And Ray certainly did not like the idea of being scrutinized right then, right there. He just kissed his friend, god damn it! And the one he did not even know much about! Worst of all, he enjoyed it! God, how could he have done that!

Ray heard Kai smile and raised his head. Surely, there was tell-tale curve on that handsome face as Kai looked at him, eyes light and soft. Yet for a moment Ray dreaded whether the bluenette was simply making fun of him and his naivety. Ray kept watching and those ruby orbs turned away with a small sigh. Kai, once again, reached out for him and the neko froze as the hand that had caressed his face before, traced his cheek once more.

"You'd wonder why Tala and I fought perhaps."

He wanted to nod but settled with just staring at the supple lips he had just kissed. Truthfully, he wouldn't have been able to speak even if Ray wanted too. The light fingers on his skin were too much big a distraction to over come.

Kai stepped forward and Ray instantly raised his face up again, watching the tamed emotions reflected in those burgundy pools of wine.

"He was trying to persuade me not to let go…" Kai trailed off and was about to turn away,

"Don't-" It was out of his mouth before Ray could stop and Kai blinked at the abrupt stop. But Ray did not allow that and grabbed it with his. "Of me…He was trying to persuade you not to let go…of me…right Kai?"

The latter opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out. Not knowing what to do, Kai did what he was best used to and turned away. Only this time, Ray squeezed the hold on his hand and stepped closer so that even the air separating them radiated intimacy.

"Not now."

"What?" Kai's lashes fluttered as he asked, clearly not comprehending what the neko had said before him.

Lips twitched into a small satisfactory smile as Ray whispered back, "Don't turn away. Not now that I know why I love you so much."

Crimson hues widened but much more when the raven head bent forward and pecked his lips, closing the distance and putting his arms gently on his shoulders. Kai breathed out, staring into those deep eyes of his companion, knowing he had reached the pinnacle where things would be blossoming even if its harsh winter he had to endure.

"Do you?" He asked against those tempting lips.

Ray smiled, "Yeah… Just don't use your karate on me again, okay? They are kind of scary."

Kai smirked, "Never…"

They kissed again.

_**

* * *

**_

End Flashback

Her eyes shifted from the ruffled mats to the swaying bag and then landed on the figure crouched against the large mirror with a bottle and a towel in lap. The raven head touched the drawn up knees but Tania could make out the partially lidded eyes blinking ever so gradually at the wooden floor beneath.

"Ray…?"

Not expecting any response, she once more looked about the empty gym, noticing the discarded boxing gloves, before bending down on her heels too. Coming face to face with the neko, she touched the bare shoulder, finding it unnaturally cold even after the workout. Ray was drenched with cold sweat.

"Chibi…"

It was known that if nothing, Ray always responded to that. And then, he did, even if it was little. He gave the tiniest nods in recognition that he was listening to whatever she had to say but might not reply. That was enough for Tania.

"It was a false alarm if you're wondering about that." Tania said, hand still on the wet shoulder, "I don't know how and when those thugs managed to do that but they did it and made their point clear if that's not difficult to conclude."

Ray nodded again, eyes trained only down, exhaustion visibly dripping from his expression.

The girl shifted on her feet, "I called Uncle Tahoe and have sent for the cleaning team. We will be in working condition and open by tomorrow noon, no doubt."

Again, only a small nod was given.

"The interior is drenched and the firemen broke a couple of mirrors and windows on their way in and out but those are little expenses. We'll be able to manage that. The kitchen is safe and so is the rest of the place. But the police want to keep on investigating a bit further to locate the cause of the alarm going off. The technician said that the main board was unsecured and easily accessible thus probably those guys hacked it or something. But the fire chief said that a flame was set near the alarm in the basement. That's not difficult, I mean you can use a lighter and voila, you've sprinkles turning the place to a bath." She softly finished, eyes still looking out for any movements form the younger.

Ray sighed and closed his eyes for a long, long time. Tania brought good news may be. At least the restaurant was okay. And he knew Uncle Tahoe well to know that everything will be on time by tomorrow. _La_ _Xian_ did not close down for trivial matters as these.

"I do not suppose the force nor the fire brigade found anything about Delilah?"

"No they didn't and I didn't mention it of course."

"Good."

Tania hesitated, "Do you reckon we should have told?"

Golden eyes clashed with violet suddenly, "No, I don't. Didn't you hear her, Tania?"

"I heard her threatening your life and Kai, Ray-"

"Exactly! And yours too. You think I'm just going to let her have it that way and throw cautions to the wind?"

"But you have to tell someone-"

Ray shook his head, "Like whom? Uncle Tahoe would just go file to the police, right? Tania you don't know these people. We might have big businesses but we are still country people. They, the Vaclavs and Hiwataris, I have dealt with them even if it counts very little in magnitude but I know when I say that do not trigger their hostility. You'll be-"

"Crushed, I know. You said that before once too."

The neko nodded, "Right." Gently lodging her hand off, he made to stand. His legs protested a bit but his mind was too numb from battling against his past traumas to notice.

"What now?"

He looked at her and then outside where the thunder boomed and clouds fought fiercely in the chaotic cosmos. What now?

'_My words are clear; take caution and leave Kai alone!'_

_Leave Kai alone, huh?_

Should he go forward with his meeting tomorrow and put everything he cared for in more jeopardy? What mattered most; Delilah's threats or his lover's request for one last face to face exchange? And Tania; what about her? Will Delilah bother this much to be a peril to her life as well?

"I don't know, Tania. I'm just so…I don't know."

Tania rubbed his back softly in a soothing way to console him, "Let's get you home already, okay? And let's see what tomorrow brings."

If Ray knew or could foretell the future he might have just known the gravity of the words; _'if tomorrow comes…'_

* * *

Ray locked the door behind him, entering the dark apartment that was his home and his personal hell now. Not bothering to properly hang his jacket on the hook, he dropped it and rubbing his eyes, stepped forward in the small hallway. One fist still massaging the aching eyes, he searched for the damn switch that seemed to have magically disappeared from its spot.

_What am I going to do?_

Finding it, he clicked on the light above but only a spark graced him and the bulb fused.

_Damn! _

Cursing under his breath, Ray would have grumbled in numb annoyance but was not really up to showing any disappointment at that stage. Tania had dropped him off in front of his building and had offered to walk him till his room and let him settle down. But Ray, trying to maintain the left of his tainted dignity, had subtly refused and assured her that he'd be fine and call him once he was ready for bed.

_I need some time alone. This all can't be happening to me. This nightmare can't be real. It's too horrifying to be real._

Ray brought down his fist and blinked at the dark silhouettes of furniture before stepping forward into the small lounge. Where was that switch again? And why was it so hard to think right?

"I need some sleep…" Ray murmured to the empty surroundings. He had a lot on his plate and it just kept over flowing. He needed a break and some deep rest.

His lover was here with his best friend in Hong Kong for his engagement. His, Ray's, friend had betrayed him for the worst in the worst way. And to top it all, his lover's fiancé worked back stage to sprinkle salt on the open, peeling wounds.

_What am I going to do?_

"Shit, where's that light?" Ray cursed out in total frustration. There was only much one could take in a day!

"Here let me get it for you."

The gasp left him as he whipped around in shock at the voice that whispered right behind his ear. The lights came on and Ray gaped at the face of calm amber eyes and that ever present smirk. Something behind him crashed to the floor as Ray backed away into the wall in initial shock and fear.

Lee! What was Lee doing here at this time!

"Surprised, Ray?"

The teen's eyes widened and he pressed his back more into the wall as the Lion neared him. "What…What are you doing here?"

"Hmm…? Oh I had to drop here for a very urgent and important matter, Ray. In fact, why don't we get started now? What do you say?"

_No! I'm not going to let you do that again!_

But Ray, outwards, seemed frozen to find his former friend so at peace, standing under the roof where he had shamelessly taken him forcibly without any consideration. How could that guy even have the guts to show his face here! Lee was once more in his apartment, invading his privacy and breaching his security, physically and mentally. And yet, all Ray could do was distanced himself from the other's reach. Lee had the keys to his place, true. But Ray never imagined the Lion would have the guts to show his face again here. Or may be he did not consider his earlier threat in the morning.

_Was that just this morning? So much has happened till then…_

"You're not welcomed here anymore, Lee. I have nothing to say to you. Get out!" Ray hissed as he slid back with every step Lee advanced in his direction. He turned to glance back and realized too late that he had backed away in a corner. The moment he turned back, Lee towered him, reaching out to place a hand next to his head, caging him once more like before.

"You've always been so naïve, Ray. Didn't I tell you in the morning that I'll come to get you, huh?"

The raven head flattened himself into the barrier behind him, wishing to dissolve into the wall and never return. He felt sickened and revolted as Lee licked his lips before bending forward in an intimidating way.

"Didn't I, Ray?"

"Lee…" Ray could not bring to push the elder back, more because he did not want to touch him and a bit because he knew it would be on no use and only entice the ebony head more.

The said person smirked at his obsession, loving the way emotions metamorphosed from one to another in a kaleidoscopic way in those bright eyes. He could detect the tiredness and wariness portraying from those miniature sun orbs. He could feel the fright radiating from the body. Lee could smell the want to break free and run away from him. But he knew Ray would not actually do any of that because he knew that Ray was aware that what was supposed to happen, it will. And he would not be able to stop just like last night.

Lee bent forward and Ray clenched his eyes shut as the elder neko-jin captured his lips fiercely with such a strong hold that promised not to let go unharmed. His hips were grasped tightly from the sides and Lee wasted no time in pressing his body against the lithe one to counter any form of resistance from his prize.

Ray tried to cry out, shout, in the kiss but the force with which he was being held down like a slave was too much painful to overcome. His mind screamed and he tried, forced his body to struggle, but Lee was in much effective control than he ever was.

He shifted his hands from the hips to the shoulders as Ray dropped forward when he backed away, heaving heavily in shock. Lee, taking advantage of the immobility, pecked him on the cheek before caressing the smooth skin.

"Enough pleasantries, Ray, we have work to do and I'm afraid time is short."

He trembled as Lee held him close, shudders racking his frame at the treatment he was enduring.

"Now I want you to listen to me and listen very clearly Ray, or else things would turn ugly. Do you understand?"

Ray did not look up and did not respond, his heart thudding painfully in his ribcage. What was Lee playing at? Why was he doing this to him?

"Do you see that bag, Ray?"

He turned to where Lee was pointing and sure enough, next to his bedroom door, a small brown suitcase was seated.

"I want you to do exactly what I say, Ray. Any mistake and you'll deeply regret it."

Uncertainly, Ray nodded, praying to be saved by whatever the demon embracing him was planning. But of course, prayers in peril go unanswered like always.

"Take it to your room. You have," Lee made a quick check on the wall clock to see it was quarter to eleven, "12 minutes, Ray. Get some clothes, passport, papers and anything worth some importance. I want you packed and ready in the given time and by eleven, we leave. Is that clear?"

"Lee-I-"

"Have I made myself clear Ray?"

Ray looked into those insane eyes and knew there was no other way out of it. Lee meant what he said and right then; he could not muster the courage to defy him.

* * *

The slamming of the door made him jump and Ray fearfully stared at the digital time piece on his side table. He had more than six minutes and two of his shirts and trousers were already in and ready. What had made him stop was to make sure Lee would not barge in as he crouched down to the last drawer of his dresser. Tentatively, Ray was not sure why, he slid opened the compartment, staring at the red velvet cloth hiding one of his most precious possession, if any.

_Kai…_

The Russian's and his photo slipped into his fingers and deftly Ray placed it under the base of his suitcase. Whatever the fickle finger of fate was playing with him, whatever Lee had planned for him, if Ray was to leave his home temporarily, there was no way he was going to part with the only reminiscent of his lover.

_This can't be happening! Lee…he can't just kidnap me like this!_

Panicked gaze fell on the cordless phone resting on the table next to his bed and Ray's heart missed a beat. Lee's warning rang in his ears but the way out to safety felt too tempting not to trudge upon.

And so, after making sure the apartment was quiet and silent, the neko slowly neared the small device, the beating of his heart making it arduous for him to properly breathe.

_Relax…just…just call Tania…or the police…anything, Ray, just do it!_

The teen stared at the phone with a mixture of fright and uncertainty. Should he? Or should he not? He couldn't have locked the door. Lee had the keys and he was not a fool to leave Ray alone here for more than five minutes. What to do?

"Buddha, help me." Sending a prayer to the unresponsive heavens above, Ray reached out and grabbed it off the sheets.

His fingers shook as he pressed the log button. Tania's number was displayed there as the last caller from the morning. Ray had meant to call at La Xian then but had simply thrown the cordless away. Now, he pressed the dial option and watched as the call began to connect, the green screen mocking him for taking its lazy time.

_Come on…_

The first bell went and then,

"_Sorry, but you're not allowed to reach the number you're calling. Please call your customer service for further inquiry or turn to our toll-free helpline-"_

_Not allowed…?! What the-!_

"I warned you, Ray."

A hand closed over his mouth and the other went for his waist. Ray wasn't even given a chance to be surprised as Lee pulled him back into his body, the elder's fingers grabbing him in between the legs. His cry was muffled in the hand on his mouth as Lee delved right beneath his pants into his boxers. The battery broke out from the back of the phone as it hit the floor, the green screen fading away just as Ray's chances of escaping faded away.

His eyes screwed closed as Lee tightened his hold but his struggle became far wilder. He tried scratching out the other's face and kicked him but that all fervent died with a scream when Lee tugged at his manhood hard.

"Easy, Ray…" The ebony haired neko purred in the pointy ear of his companion, "You know you're already in trouble. Don't make it worse for yourself."

Ray tried to shake off the hand but when Lee hardened his grip in warning, he fell still, fearing the probable consequences if he aroused too much of the Lion's fury.

Feeling the younger quiet down, Lee closed the zip but did not stray farther and settled on Ray's inner thigh, "That's right, sweetheart. Relax…all will be fine."

A sob escaped his throat when his friend caressed him down there, the painful tingling resurfacing many dark, dark memories. Ray's head rested on Lee's shoulder in a wrong angle, his mouth still closed by that large hand, restraining him from making a scene.

"Had you come quietly Ray, I wouldn't have done this. But now, I guess, you've not left me any choice. Come now…"

Lee backed away from the bedroom, the tensed beautiful body pressed against him and he loved the feeling. The shivers that dominated Ray were sensational and corrupted his mind. But controlling his urge, he walked near the small showcase in the hall, grabbing the sleek injection containing a transparent liquid from the surface.

"I'm sorry Ray, but this is how it's going to be. You're just going to sleep for now, my love."

Golden eyes screamed in terror but their scream was left unheard as a sharp needle entered Ray's sight. He watched from the corner of his vision as Lee stretched his neck to expose the vulnerable flesh there.

_Stop! No please! Stop!_

Alas, his thoughts remained there where they were meant to be. No one interfered, no one intervened. No last second interruptions and no miracles. Ray felt the prick of the metal and cried out at the burning feeling that spread throughout his neck. The fluid, what ever poison it was, seeped into him and Ray's struggled died altogether, the burning sensation turning into liquid nitrogen that froze every movement, every ripple, and killed each molecule of oxygen in his body.

Lee pulled out the injection and dropped it on the floor, his arms automatically embracing Ray's now limp body in a cuddle against his chest. The legs could not possibly support themselves anymore for the poison was fast and potent. The flailing arms were now dropped by the sides in defeat and Lee smirked at the immobile state the figure was swathed in.

Unable to resist, he placed a soft kiss on those wavering lips, watching the lights in those victimized eyes slowly dying.

"_L-Lee…" _

Ray made to fight the last time but his world slowly faded away and his head settled next to the dark heart of the elder neko-jin, now the bane of his life.

* * *

Two sticks of red dynamite were wrapped together tightly with gray duct tape. But there was no fuse. Instead, Lee Chan used a detonating device, a timer with cheap windup alarm clock. He had removed the minute hand from the clock, and drilled a small hole between the numbers eleven and twelve, more towards the latter than the former. Into the small hole, he inserted a metal pin which, when touched by the sweeping hour hand, would complete the circuit and detonate the bomb which was capable of wrecking the entire apartment but not damaging the whole building or causing the main beams to collapse.

Lee considered himself near as an expert on bombs and timers. Since nine he had been enticed by fireworks and anything with gun powder in it. And timers, they were his specialty.

Walking away from the coffee table where the explosion was set, the amber gaze scrutinized the whole place one last time. He counted many of the times and memories he spent and had here and there over the years. But none was as strong as the one last night when he had finally bedded Ray. And he was proud that he had to get to do that in, ironically (or not), the neko's own bedroom. That was exquisite…

_Alas, these memories will be charred and ashes now, Ray. But I assure you, we will have many others to make together in the near future. I promise you that…_

He had already rounded up what ever he needed or was required from the apartment. The last minute packing that Ray did was just a formality that the Lion wanted to be over with. It was not of any significance anyway.

So grabbing the two briefcases on the floor, Lee once more swept the place with a close look and finding nothing wrong in the scene, turned about and left through the door.

The last click of the door aroused many phantoms of the past, which, knowing their fate; screamed and wailed at the injustice. Many begged to be allowed freedom, many asked for a better end. None of them was happy. But perhaps the only one genuinely crushed and sad…was the one with the red crimson eyes…

* * *

"Now there's a nice catch, boy. Where did you get him from?"

The alley was deserted with the exception of the dirty yellow cab and the three silhouettes, all of which hardly apparent under the wisps of street lights.

Lee glared at the sleazy taxi driver who smoked something cheap wrapped in a piece of paper, "Shut you pie hole and help me with this shit." He cussed to the disgusting looking man.

The driver sneered at the youngster with his yellow teeth before taking the luggage and throwing it in the passenger seat. Getting behind the wheel, he waited till the neko-jin was done.

Shooting another look to confirm he was leaving no evidence behind, Lee opened the peeling door. This was definitely not according to his taste or desire but for the moment, it was all worth it. Shifting the legs on to his lap, he climbed in with a grimace on the torn leather seats and handed the driver thick envelope.

"Get us there safely and secretly and the rest will be yours. Now get a move on."

The unshaven, foul man grinned and adjusting the rear view mirror right, he started the engine off. This was far most, the easiest job he had done for the grand amount he was receiving. May be if he was able to pay his debts, he might get some good seat covers for his cab.

Lee turned his attention back to his companion nest to him, now caught up in a dreamless sleep without any idea of the languid pace of time. Lee shifted, taking Ray's legs with him as he adjusted between them. Caressing the caramel tinted face, his eyes traced the contours of those angelic features, delving into their attractive but vulnerable façade. The raven head was oblivious, and Lee was about to take full advantage of it.

The driver shot one last glance at the back where the couple was. He had not met a more handsome man in years. That unconscious neko-jin was an eye candy worth loosing blood. And had he not been doing business with Lee Chan, he would have let his instincts wild and run off with the raven beauty when the Lion had came to put him in the back of the car before.

Now he watched with a perverted gaze as the elder of the two took the sleeping teen in his lap, touching him, kissing him softly here and there. The shallow breathing becoming sharp and uneven was distracting. So taking the partition between the front and the back, the driver closed it shut; smirking at the perverse thoughts running through his head at what he would have done if it was he in the back seat with the knocked out neko.

Reversing the vehicle out of the alley, he placed his foot on the accelerator and zoomed out in the road, quickly merging into the night's traffic, away from the apartment and the bomb.

* * *

The woman was in her late sixties, greedy, rude and downright bitchy. And even as she witnessed the whole kidnapping take place eight floors beneath her, she could not think of anything else than the reward money she could make by calling the police or the ones concerned.

If there was anything that changed her mind for afterwards, it was the blast that took place fifteen minutes after the cab and three mysterious figures departed.

* * *

The lyrics used were _**'True' by Ryan Cabrera**_ worth listening, swooning and totally getting emotional on. I know some people have a problem with the length so from now on; the length of the chapters will be less. Wish me luck and forgive me for updating so late and in such a…inappropriate and 'unlike me' manner.

I want to thank a certain 'somebody' belonging to my college, who has very recently became a confidant and a good friend, for helping me get through this and being very supportive. Without him, this chapter or even this story might have become dead to me. Yes, I was and am this depressed and desperate.

Yours reviews are dear to me guys, and sincerely, I want some encouragement.

Please R&R.

Till next time,  
Neena14


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